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"Gossip Girl" Pilot (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Dan Humphrey: You really wanna go out with some guy you don't know?

Serena van der Woodsen: Well you can't be any worse than the guys I do know.

Chuck Bass: I love it when you talk dirty.

Serena van der Woodsen: You just love it when a girl talks to you.

Dan Humphrey: I don't read Gossip Girl. That's for chicks.

Serena van der Woodsen: You know my mom: if it's not broke, break it.

Isabel Coates: Someone saw Serena getting off the train at Grand Central!

Chuck Bass: Good. Things are getting a little DULL around here.

Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Did B think S would go down without a fight? Or can these two hotties work it out? There's nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a good cat fight. And this could be a classic.

Rufus Humphrey: Maybe if musicians got off their blogs and picked up their guitars, the music business would be in better shape.

Serena van der Woodsen: I miss you. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. Ya know walking to school together. Dancing on tables at Bungalow. Midnight swimming at your mom's country house. Your like my sister. And ya know with our families, we need each other.

Blair Waldorf: Well, you missed some classic Eleanor Waldorf meltdowns. If it wasn't such a tradgedy it would've been funny. Actually it kind of was.

[both girls laugh]

Serena van der Woodsen: Well I wish I could've been there.

Blair Waldorf: You are now. I have to meet Nate. Kinda have something special planned.

Serena van der Woodsen: Well I don't wanna keep you but um...

Serena van der Woodsen: [gives Blair a hug] I love you B.

Blair Waldorf: I love you too S.

Nate Archibald: [Serena hands him a bottle of champagne whose cork immediately pops, spilling onto both of them] Whoops! I swear, that's never happened to me before.

[he laughs]

Chuck Bass: Who is that?

Blair Waldorf: Probably some bitch from Chapin.

Chuck Bass: A hot bitch from Chapin.

Rufus Humphrey: Guess whos dad is cool!

Jenny Humphrey: It's a trick-question.

Dan Humphrey: Yeah, cos it can't be ours.

Chuck Bass: I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.

Serena van der Woodsen: And if you get a drink, they're also serving pigs.

Chuck Bass: I love it when you talk dirty.

Gossip Girl: And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. You know you love me. Xoxo, GossipGirl

Rufus Humphrey: Hey, you made it! Welcome back. How was your weekend? How's your mom?

Jenny Humphrey: She's fine.

Dan Humphrey: She's good.

Jenny Humphrey: Fine and good.

Dan Humphrey: She's good and... fine.

Rufus Humphrey: Like "maybe I never should have left Manhattan" fine or "taking a time-out from my marriage was the best idea I ever had" fine?

Serena van der Woodsen: You're like my sister. And with our families... we need each other.

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Isabel: Oh my god, you'll never believe what's on Gossip Girl!

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Serena van der Woodsen: Oh my god, this is so good! Thank you!

Chuck Bass: You know, if you really want to thank me, I've got a few ideas...

Serena van der Woodsen: It's just a sandwich, Chuck.

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Chuck Bass: Who's the newbie?

Kati Farkas: Jenny Humphrey. She's a freshman.

Chuck Bass: I love freshmen. They're so...

Isabel Coates: Fresh?

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Eleanor Waldorf: Blair, if you're going to wear one of my designs, tell me so we can at least get it properly fitted.

Blair Waldorf: Thanks, mom. I'll keep that in mind. Great party.

Eleanor Waldorf: [to party guest] She is my best advertisement.

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Isabel Coates: Oh, my God- you'll never believe what's on Gossip Girl! Someone saw Serena getting off the train at Grand Central!

Chuck Bass: Good. Things were starting to get a little dull around here.

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Serena van der Woodsen: Let me guess, you told everyone Erik's just visiting Grandpa in Rhode Island.

Lily van der Woodsen: Your Aunt Carol in Miami.

Serena van der Woodsen: So you're actually hiding him. He tries to take his own life and you're worried it's going to cost you mom of the year?

Lily van der Woodsen: Serena, you've been gone. Doing who-knows-what with God-knows who.

Serena van der Woodsen: I told you, boarding school was not like that!

Lily van der Woodsen: As happy as I am to have you home, you have no idea what it's been like.

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Nate Archibald: Serena...

Serena van der Woodsen: No!... No.

Nate Archibald: But you're back now.

Serena van der Woodsen: I didn't come back for you! Look, Blair's my best friend, and you're her boyfriend, and she loves you. That's the way things are supposed to be.

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Chuck Bass: Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.

Nate Archibald: You are deeply disturbed.

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Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

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Jenny Humphrey: Ah, the invisible man returns.

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Blair Waldorf: She better not show her face again.

Chuck Bass: I'm actually hoping she will.

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Blair Waldorf: Do you want us to wait? It looks like you've got a lot of yogurt left.

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Isabel Coates: Gossip Girl just saw Serena getting off the train at Grand Central!

Chuck Bass: Good. Things were getting a little dull around here.

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Blair Waldorf: I love you Nate Archibald. Always have, always will.

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Chuck Bass: What we're entitled to is a house in the Hamptons. Maybe a perscription drug problem. But happiness does not seem to be on the menu so smoke up and seal the deal with Blair because you're also entitled to tap that ass.

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Gossip Girl: Why so thirsty, S? You may have won B over, but we still think you're hiding something.

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Chuck Bass: Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty.

Serena van der Woodsen: You just love it when a girl talks to you.

Chuck Bass: Actually I prefer them when they're not talking.

Serena van der Woodsen: Chuck, I've missed your witty banter.

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Lily van der Woodsen: Why is my daughter going to one of your concerts?

Rufus Humphrey: 'Cause we're awesome.

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Gossip Girl: Did B think S would go down without a fight? Or can these two hotties work it out? There's nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a good catfight. And this could be a classic.

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Serena van der Woodsen: How's your mom doing with the divorce?

Blair Waldorf: Great. So my dad left her for another man. She lost fifteen pounds, got an eyelift. It's been good for her.

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Chuck Bass: I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors.

Serena van der Woodsen: And if you get a drink, they're also serving pigs.

Chuck Bass: Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty.

Serena van der Woodsen: You just love when a girl talks to you.

Chuck Bass: Actually, I prefer them when they're not talking.

Serena van der Woodsen: [sarcastically] Mm. I've missed your witty banter.

Chuck Bass: Let's catch up. Take our clothes off, stare at each other.

Serena van der Woodsen: How about I just get a bite to eat? I'm drinking on an empty stomach.

Chuck Bass: I heard you didn't do that anymore.

Serena van der Woodsen: Special occasion.

Chuck Bass: Well, how about a grilled cheese with truffle oil? You love truffles.

Serena van der Woodsen: Enough to know it's not on the menu.

Chuck Bass: I'm connected.

Serena van der Woodsen: Only 'cause I'm hungry.

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Gossip Girl: And who am I? That's another secret I'll never tell. You know you love me. Xo xo Gossip Girl

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Gossip Girl: Gossip Girl here your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhatten's elite

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Chuck Bass: [to a very sad Nate] It's like you're headed to your execution. Talk to Chuck, buddy.

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Chuck Bass: Do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? That we're just gonna end up like our parents?

Nate Archibald: Man, that's a dark thought.

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Rufus Humphrey: [after seeing Jenny all dolled-up for a party] Oh my God! My daughter is a woman!

Jenny Humphrey: [blushing] Dad, you can just tell me I look nice.

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Chuck Bass: Nathaniel, you're finally about to have sex with your girlfriend. It's like you're headed to your execution. Talk to Chuck, buddy.

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Nate Archibald: Do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? That we're just gonna end up like our parents?

Chuck Bass: Man, that's a dark thought.

Nate Archibald: And aren't we entitled to choose just to... be happy?

Chuck Bass: [mockingly] Look, easy Socrates. What we're entitled to is a trust fund, maybe a house in the Hamptons, a prescription drug problem... but happiness does not seem to be on the menu.So smoke up and seal the deal with Blair, 'cause you're also entitled to tap that ass.

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Serena van der Woodsen: So hows your mom going, with the divorce and all?

Blair Waldorf: Great. So my dad left her for another man- she lost fifteen pounds and got an eyelift. It's been good for her.

Serena van der Woodsen: I'm really sorry.

Blair Waldorf: Yeah, I could tell. Since you didn't call or write the entire time it was happening.

Serena van der Woodsen: How's your mom doing with the divorce?

Blair Waldorf: So, my dad left her for another man. She lost 15 pounds, got an eye lift. It's been good for her.

Eleanor Waldorf: If you're gonna wear one of my designs, at least tell me so we can have it fitted.

Blair Waldorf: Thanks, mom.

Gossip Girl: [voice-over] Better lock it down with Nate, B. Clock is ticking.

Jenny Humphrey: So we should just be anonymous losers who eat lunch alone and never get invited to parties?

Dan Humphrey: Works for me.

Serena van der Woodsen: Look, Blair's my best friend and you're her boyfriend. And she loves you. That's the way things are supposed to be.

Nate Archibald: You're back now.

Serena van der Woodsen: I didn't come back for you.

Chuck Bass: Serena looked effin' hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.

Nate Archibald: You are deeply disturbed.

Serena van der Woodsen: Blair. Maybe we could meet tonight?

Blair Waldorf: I'd love to! But I'm doing something with Nate tonight.

Serena van der Woodsen: The Palace. 8:00? Nate will wait.

Gossip Girl: [narration; voice-over] Spotted at the Constance Billard Steps, S & B power struggle.

Blair Waldorf: I could only do... half hour?

Serena van der Woodsen: Thanks for making the time.

Blair Waldorf: You're my best friend.

Chuck Bass: Hi. I'm Chuck

Jenny Humphrey: I know, uhm, I mean, hi I'm Jenny.

Chuck Bass: Do you following us or something?

Dan Humphrey: No, I, I, go to your school. Identical uniforms? That kind of a tip off?

Nate Archibald: That's funny.

Dan Humphrey: So... you guys wanna sit together at lunch?

Chuck Bass: You guys have been dating since kindergarten and you haven't sealed the deal.

Nate Archibald: Who says 'seal the deal?'

Serena van der Woodsen: So, when's the party?

Blair Waldorf: Saturday... and you're kinda not invited. Since, until 12 hours ago, we all thought you were at boarding school. And Jenny used up all the invites.

Jenny Humphrey: Actually... "

Blair Waldorf: You can go now.

Jenny Humphrey: Too bad it's more than our rent. But I think I can sew something like it.

Nate Archibald: Do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us?

Chuck Bass: So smoke up and seal the deal with Blair. Because you're also entitled the tap that ass.

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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