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Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous (2008)

Major Movie Star (original title)
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When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Floriana Tullio ...
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Jennifer Finley ...
Dolores (as Jennifer Paige Finley)
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Storyline

When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

The Army will never be the same. See more »

Genres:

Adventure | Comedy | Drama | War

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated PG-13 for sexual content including references, and some drug material | See all certifications »
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Release Date:

7 November 2008 (Bulgaria)  »

Also Known As:

Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous  »

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2.35 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Was a #1 hit at the box office in Russia. See more »

Goofs

Valentine is shown making up her bunk with proper corners. Later her bunk is shown messed up again, while all the other bunks are made up properly. See more »

Connections

Spoofs Apocalypse Now (1979) See more »

Soundtracks

Runaway Success
Written by Lennart Jensen
Performed by Fleezya
Published by Belcadenza(STIM)
Courtesy of Song And Film
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Frequently Asked Questions

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User Reviews

"Light and fluffy..."
22 March 2009 | by (The San Francisco Bay Area) – See all my reviews

I grabbed the DVD off of the local Blockbuster new release shelf. One shouldn't judge a book (or film) by the DVD cover, but I guess I'm a sucker for a hot-blonde in military uniform. I knew not to expect too much of it, and, well, that's kind of what the viewer got, but there was a bit more here than meets the eye.

Years back when Goldie Hawn did Private Benjamin there was a lot of hype about the comic and comedic overtones of "Private Benjamin". But, it turned out to be a serious film with humor sprinkled in here and there. "Private Benjamin" was funny, but it wasn't light entertainment. It had some social commentary and other messages to convey to the audience. In this regard I was personally let down by "Private Benjamin", although I understand it as a quality film, and appreciate it as such.

"Private Valentine", on the other hand, is cut from a different cloth. It takes the Goldie Hawn film, removes the heavy undercurrent meat and replaces it with a light frothy soufflé. Jessica Simpson doesn't play the heavily laden woman nearing a conjuncture in her life, and is taken in by a more than slick military ad campaign. Simpson's character starts off as a lightweight star who wants to be taken seriously, but is not given the opportunity because of both the roles she's given, and the deeper reason of why she's given said roles. It takes Uncle Sam to turn her into "An army of one", so to speak. And a one-woman wrecking crew she becomes.

Unlike Private Benjamin, the Cold War is over, so there's no "Red menace" and/or scare to play off of. The sexual tension in this film is kept light and romantic, as opposed to the expose on abuse that Hawn's film portrayed. In short, it's light entertainment. "Private Valentine" is meant to be nothing more than that.

Having said this, and having a loose and tacit respect for this film, I do admit that it could have been executed better, particularly in the first act. The beginning of the film seems cobbled together, and not thoroughly vetted as it could have been. The whole movie seems to have been a bargain production, though not quite as low as a B-movie extravaganza. As such the exposition and staging are somewhat restrained.

Jessica Simpson herself is actually quite good in this role. In fact, everyone does a good job, but I was particularly impressed with Simpson's acting ability, and this comment comes from a man who is not one of her fans. There was no heavy emoting to be doe here, but Simpson did show us a diverse set of acting abilities. If the directing had been tightened up a little, then this film, Simpson included, could have really shined and exceeded all expectations.

As it stands now it's just light entertainment. Don't expect a remake of "Private Benjamin", because it really isn't. It takes the premise of that film, and, in a sense, turns it on its head to create something mildly enjoyable, and not overly wrought with social commentary, drama and character angst.

Not a great film, but then it was never meant to be one. Just something to watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon. If you go in not expecting too much, then you should be okay with it. The only warning I'd give is that it's a proverbial chick-flick. So, to my fellow testosterone comrades, try not to be overly critical of it.

Give it a shot.


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