Jim Halpert: Dwight left his cell phone on his desk, so, naturally, I paired it to my headset.
Dwight Schrute: [while phone is ringing] Okay, fine, I'll just let it go to voicemail.
Jim Halpert: [Presses button on headset] Hello, this is Dwight.
Pam Beesley: Hey, is this Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Yes, it is.
Pam Beesley: Oh, my goodness, you sound sexy.
Jim Halpert: Oh, thank you. I've been working out.
Dwight Schrute: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now! You are talking to Jim.
Pam Beesley: Dwight?
Dwight Schrute: No! Pam, I'm over here!
Pam Beesley: I'm confused.
Michael Scott: If the devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?
Michael Scott: Like a beach blowout, or a toga, a toga. Toga!
Michael Scott: Toby has been cruisin' for a bruisin' for 12 years, and I am now his cruise director, and my name is Captain Bruisin'.
Kevin Malone: I am totally gonna bang Holly. She is cute and helpful, and she really seems into me.
Michael Scott: [shouting] Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II.
Michael Scott: Hey, what's the group that was from Scranton and made it big? Was that U2?
Jim Halpert: Yes.
[as Toby introduces his replacement]
Toby Flenderson: Michael Scott, this is Holly.
Holly Flax: Hi.
Michael Scott: Hi. Yeah, right. Okay, well, they hired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, God, for creating two of you. Here's how things work here: My job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame, and we have an eternal struggle, you and I, and only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert, I'm going to win.
Holly Flax: Man, someone doesn't like HR.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Holly Flax: What did you do to him?
Toby Flenderson: Nothing.
Michael Scott: No, he tortured me with his awfulness.
Michael Scott: I am downloading some N3P...
Jim Halpert: That's not it.
Michael Scott: ...music...
Jim Halpert: Yup.
Michael Scott: ...for a CD mixtape...
Jim Halpert: Close.
Michael Scott: ...for Holly. And I'm looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.
Jim Halpert: What are the two levels?
Michael Scott: The two levels being, "Welcome to Scranton" and "I love you."
[as Toby introduces Holly to Creed]
Creed Bratton: The pleasure's all mine.
Holly Flax: Thanks. I'm really looking forward to sitting down with you and finding out more about what you do here.
Creed Bratton: Any time.
Holly Flax: Yeah. What do you do here?
Creed Bratton: [long pause] Excuse me.
Creed Bratton: [to camera crew in the kitchen] What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. What do I do? Really, what do I do here? I should have written it down. Qua-something. Qua... Quar... Qua... Qual... Quar... Quabity. Quabity assuance. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.
[after Michael tells Jim he loves Holly]
Michael Scott: Well, it's love at first sight. Actually, it was... No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.
[after handing Toby a wrapped present]
Toby Flenderson: Wow, thanks, Michael, I didn't expect you...
Michael Scott: [cuts him off] Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.
[during Toby's exit interview]
Michael Scott: I just have some... questions that I was gonna ask.
Michael Scott: Umm, who do you think you are?
Toby Flenderson: [long pause] I'm Toby.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Correct. Umm... What gives... What... What gives you the right?
Holly Flax: ...Umm, I-I brought the binder. Do you wanna... take a little look?
Michael Scott: Sure. Yeah, you know what, that sounds good. Take a little look-see.