- Joy Turner: Why are you touching me? Where's that female guard who looks like the coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers?
- Randy Hickey: She's sick today so they said I get to frisk all the women, 'cause if someone sues, I got the least stuff to lose.
- [slowly moves on to her chest, then suddenly squeezes her large breasts]
- Joy Turner: Randy!
- Frank: [Looking at the TV Guides that Joy doctored with nudie pictures] Whoa, check out the vagina on Al Roker.