- Alex Russo, Harper: [singing] What's that? A hat! Crazy, funky, junky hat. Overslept, hair unsightly. Trying to look like Keira Knightly. We've been there, we've done that, we see right through your funky hat!
- [last lines]
- Alex Russo, Harper, Theresa Russo: [singing] We see right through your funky hat!
- [Theresa grabs the brim of her hat]
- Alex Russo: Mom, don't add your own moves! This isn't the eighties; this isn't Footgrease music.
- Theresa Russo: It's Footloose or Grease. And those movies were great. C'mon, pick your moves up.
- Alex Russo, Harper, Theresa Russo: What's that? A hat! Crazy, funky, chunky hat. Overslept, hair unsightly.
- [Alex and Harper steal out of the room]
- Theresa Russo: Trying to look like Keira Knightly.
- [she leans back on a footstool, and mimes the water scene from Flashdance]
- Theresa Russo: And pull the cord! Pull the cord! Pull the cord!
- Customer #1: Just give me the Bronc-strami, a large root beer and, uh, a slice of that coffee cake over there, huh.
- Harper: Really? Here's what I do. I get the half order because it's just as filling and half the price.
- Alex Russo: Harper!
- Harper: What? That's what I do! Oh, and get the small soda because it's free refills.
- Alex Russo: Harper! When I said 'Harper' I meant stop talking!
- [first lines]
- Brian: Justin! Way to score on the World History exam.
- Justin Russo: Uh, thanks, Brian. You know, uh, this might sound kinda lame, but I didn't think you knew my name.
- Brian: Oh, I didn't. You left your sweater in class. Has your name in it. Look, I didn't do so good on this test. I just got one right: my name. Look, I was wondering if you could help me out; you know, tutor me.
- Justin Russo: I dunno; I'm kind of busy.
- Brian: I'll give you two tickets to the Tears of Blood concert.
- Justin Russo: T.O.B. Their new tour's awesome! You got a deal. Come by the Sub Station after school.
- Brian: Awesome. Oh, uh, if any of my friends ask you, I was all over you for talking to my *girlfriend*!
- Justin Russo: And if any of my friends ask you, your girlfriend actually *talked* to me!