- Amelia: [Dobie and Amelia are sitting on a bench flirting when suddenly Amelia is distracted] Dobie, do you smell something strange?
- Dobie Gillis: Yeah, like somebody set fire to an old innertube.
- Amelia: [jumping to her feet, looking enraptured] Oh, no. It's the call of the wild. Glorioski, it makes me feel tingly all over. Rrrruff!
- Dobie Gillis: [Dobie stands and swaggers over to her] Yes, I often have that effect on girls. It's a dangerous power, but some of us must live with it.
- Amelia: [ignoring Dobie, glancing about her] It's coming closer. It's so wild, savage and primitive!
- Maynard G. Krebs: [enters scene] You growled?
- Gina Lololasagna: Kiss me, my beautiful antipasto!
- Maynard G. Krebs: Will you give me a nickel?
- Gina Lololasagna: A nickel? I give you my Oscar, my Emmy!
- Maynard G. Krebs: Miami? Oh, I'd rather have Cleveland. That's a town in Indiana.
- [Herbert is trying to convince a movie producer that Maynard will be irresistible to movie star Gina Lollalasagna]
- R.J. Crumley: All right, Gillis, I'll take a chance, but I'm warning you...
- Herbert T. Gillis: Don't warn me, warn her. She's liable to come charging in here like a raging beast. You better get ready to grab her in case she gets violent. I understand these Italian girls are kind of impulsive. She is Italian, isn't she?
- R.J. Crumley: Well, not exactly. Her agent's Italian.
- [acting as Maynard's agent, Herbert promotes him as the 'New Valentino']
- R.J. Crumley: You got a client with ooomph?
- Herbert T. Gillis: Ooomph? Mr Crumley, women take one look at him and you'd think it was feeding time at the zoo.
- R.J. Crumley: All right, Gillis, I'll take a look at him. You got exactly three minutes. And he better be great.
- Herbert T. Gillis: Trust me, Crummy old man, trust me.
- R.J. Crumley: The last man that called me Crummy got fired on the spot. And he was a relative. Now bring in this New Valentino.
- R.J. Crumley: [Maynard stumbles into the room, asking if he could sleep in the corner] This is the New Valentino?... The old one looked better, and he's been dead over 30 years! Out, you phony, out, and take this side-show with you. Out!
- Herbert T. Gillis: Now just a minute. He isn't the handsomest man in the world, that I'll admit.
- R.J. Crumley: So will I.
- Maynard G. Krebs: So will I.
- Herbert T. Gillis: And when it comes to muscles, he isn't exactly Tarzan.
- R.J. Crumley: When it comes to muscles, he isn't even Jane.