The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis (TV Series)

The Call of the Like Wild (1963)

Howard Caine: R.J. Crumley

Quotes 

• [Herbert is trying to convince a movie producer that Maynard will be irresistible to movie star Gina Lollalasagna] 

  R.J. Crumley : All right, Gillis, I'll take a chance, but I'm warning you...

  Herbert T. Gillis : Don't warn me, warn her. She's liable to come charging in here like a raging beast. You better get ready to grab her in case she gets violent. I understand these Italian girls are kind of impulsive. She is Italian, isn't she?

  R.J. Crumley : Well, not exactly. Her agent's Italian.

• [acting as Maynard's agent, Herbert promotes him as the 'New Valentino'] 

  R.J. Crumley : You got a client with ooomph?

  Herbert T. Gillis : Ooomph? Mr Crumley, women take one look at him and you'd think it was feeding time at the zoo.

  R.J. Crumley : All right, Gillis, I'll take a look at him. You got exactly three minutes. And he better be great.

  Herbert T. Gillis : Trust me, Crummy old man, trust me.

  R.J. Crumley : The last man that called me Crummy got fired on the spot. And he was a relative. Now bring in this New Valentino.

  R.J. Crumley : [Maynard stumbles into the room, asking if he could sleep in the corner]  This is the New Valentino?... The old one looked better, and he's been dead over 30 years! Out, you phony, out, and take this side-show with you. Out!

  Herbert T. Gillis : Now just a minute. He isn't the handsomest man in the world, that I'll admit.

  R.J. Crumley : So will I.

  Maynard G. Krebs : So will I.

  Herbert T. Gillis : And when it comes to muscles, he isn't exactly Tarzan.

  R.J. Crumley : When it comes to muscles, he isn't even Jane.