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This is one of those titles that make you expect the worst, but make
you have to watch it. So I took some time on a weary afternoon, and I
gave it a shot.
The first minutes I was happily surprised. Settings and costumes chosen with care, good camera-work and effects (none of the vague stuff that surrounds low-budget flicks), and some witty dialogues. Typical British, yes, but that's a positive remark. The main characters, and their main philosophy, was much to my liking. What follows is more of the same, and I never felt the need to fast-forward or to hide my face and ears in shame. My eyes definitely could appreciate the displayed beauty, whereas in England, these girls should actually be harder to find.
Okay, so the critics will bash on the plot (no sh*t, Sherlock) and the overacting in some cases (again, it's not a candidate for the Oscars). True, no need to expect the best either, but if that's what you're going for, then why choose this movie.
A good time, with true laughs ... I got what I came for.
This is for everyone who didn't like this movie. What did you expect. Really, what did you expect? You went to see a movie called Lesbian Vampire Killers. It had the lesbians, it had the vampires and oh yes, there were killings. Okay, it wasn't the best movie ever. The style was kind of like heroes meets sean of the dead. But it was as funny as other good comedies, it kept me entertained from start to finish mostly because of the lesbians but that's neither here nor there and although the plot was simple it was a nice idea. Essentially unless you like lesbians vampires and killings, and unless you one of those people who sees Matthew Horne throwing a sword at the bad guy who is in the middle of his two friends and think 'that doesn't make any sense he could have missed and hit James Corden, why didn't he just stab the sword' instead of thinking 'wow that was kick ass' then don't go and see this movie because you won't enjoy it.
Okay, so, Lesbian Vampire Killers huh? Yes, I know, it sounds
ludicrous, atrocious, gimmicky and gauchebut you know what? I enjoyed
it. In fact, I really enjoyed it, and please bear in mind that a few
readers would have you believe me to be a pompous twit. Nevermind
however, because Lesbian Vampire Killers is a hoot if you're willing to
simply sit back and be tickled in special areas for ninety minutes.
Sure it's crude, utterly pointless and relies mostly on the humour of
men drooling over breasts whilst decapitating lots of pretty
strippersbut that's the point of the feature, and it's downright
hilarious, fun and engaging if you're open to such stupidity. Of
course, I often slam movies for being braindead and moronic, but that's
only if they fail to make me giggle after the hundredth pitiful attempt
at doing so. No, rather than come across as a lame Movie hybrid, Phil
Claydon here manages to create a wonderfully dark comedy parody akin
more to the classic Evil Dead movies spliced with a touch of Braindead
and Shaun of the Dead. It's audacious, rude, blasphemous and somewhat
morbidly eroticand yet, I couldn't have been more pleased with such a
piece of popcorn-trash-cinema.
The movie takes place largely within a small rural area of Norfolk which has a history involving an ancient curse that creates lesbian vampires out of all the town's females as soon as they turn eighteen. Off on an unsuspecting break from their dreary lives which are shamefully going nowhere, best friends Fletch (James Corden) and Jimmy (Mathew Horne) soon end up in the middle of a group of scantily clad, tantalising lesbians who take a special interest in Jimmy because of his supposed lineage dating back to their hybrid queen who wants to rule the world again. Sound hammy? Well, yes, it is. Yet, rather than simply avoid that fact, writers Paul Hupfield and Stewart Williams acknowledge the cliché, intangible nature of the plot consistently; toying and poking at its pretentiousness at every chance through either a quip from one of the characters, or many of the devices used to further it along (The Sword of Dialdo, for example). Not only does help to solidify the movie's satirical edge towards fooling no-one to take all this seriously, but it offers plenty of brilliant one-liners and character humour too, resulting in a light, almost care-free experience that entertains more than disgruntles.
With that being said however, it should also be noted that Lesbian Vampire Killers isn't all dumb and sophomoric; in fact, there's plenty of intelligence going on behind the scenes, and it isn't hard to see. The most potent example of this comes in the form of the characters themselves who, although never straying far from the horror movie clichés of unknowing and coy hero with his bumbling, comic relief buddy, nevertheless work very well on screen to counteract the movie's tendency to off on extremely surreal tangents. Working with fast-paced, edgy dialogue that always feels timely and natural, the actors come off as having a ton of fun here, and this playful nature complements the distinctly farcical side of the feature's story. Of course, a large majority of that very same dialogue gets most of its laughs from the odd curse here or there, but it's all so well timed and perfectly played out that you don't care if it's cheap and rudimentaryLesbian Vampire Killers, isn't necessarily out to impress through any other means, and it's refreshing to be treated to such a movie that stays true to that ideal without succumbing to tired, derivative writing.
Furthermore, it has to be said that while the feature comes from an ensemble of largely unknowns within the business, you would never be able to tell. Everything from the set design and performances, to the fantastic score penned by Debbie Wiseman and the beautifully complementary photography of David Higgs accentuates the movie's greatest parts resulting in a coherent, engaging whole that echoes the script's exploitation-flick direction. So, much like those feisty lesbian vampires themselves, Lesbian Vampire Killers does well to keep things edgy, morbid, and bloody, but most of allattractive, fun and alluring. Not everyone will appreciate what Claydon and company achieve here (in fact, most will be sure to brush it off as nothing but juvenile penis jokes), but those looking for downright hilarious horror done with passion and conviction need look no further than this which has everything from dildo-handled swords inflicting stylized gore with foul-mouthed priests (who just happen to destroy lesbianism, go figure) to, well; lesbian vampires. It's the perfect Friday night popcorn muncher, so sit back with some friends and enjoy it for the sharp-toothed, braindead fun that it is.
- A review by Jamie Robert Ward (http://www.invocus.net)
This is without a doubt a movie all teenage boys wish they could have
made. Dumb without a doubt. No real worth other than cheeky humor and
showing off women in a tawdry way. But come on this is what the entire
movie was about.
I hope that the budget wasn't all that much so that maybe they can do a sequel with werewolves so that Fletch can get what he asked for in this movie.
To all the people out there why slam a movie when the movie was made to be like this. It's not like they were trying to make another Dracula (1992). This was nothing but fun campy humor. And well done at that.
The film is a continuous quote: Dracula, American Werewolf in London,
Withnail and I, Ed Wood's films, Roger Corman's horror movies with
Vincent Price (Paul McGann's excellent vicar's tone is very reminiscent
of Price's in Corman's interpretations of Poe) and all the Hammer
horrors with lesbian undertones.
More than just a spoof the film is in a genre of its own being a "spoof-of-a-spoof" like few others before. This can make it difficult to understand just what the film sets out to do if one is expecting a horror, it certainly is not a horror or an action movie. The comparisons to Shaun of the Dead are also a big red herring and not very helpful, as this is a much more Post-Modern citation exercise with references far wider and in many more genres; it's not simply a case of an attempt in emulating for vampires what the Romero zombie movies did for Shaun of the Dead, but altogether a much more varied and inclusive exercise. L.V.K also takes itself less seriously to a degree than one would not believe in a feature length film, but it manages to do so in a way that is very entertaining if one is prepared to fore-go most of the expectations of what a film should be about.
The writing could have been polished up further, it could have done with a final re-write to tie it all together, and this is the film's main weakness, but there is enough comedy in it to laugh every few minutes if one is prepared to embark on this journey of quotation spotting. Some of the lines are so outrageously camp that with different actors it certainly would not have worked, but the film has been brilliantly cast and even the most improbable lines are recited and acted with just the right level of irony.
The sound effects are one of the strongest elements, together with the lesbian vampires' epic hair-dos which are highly imaginative and an exercise in quotations in itself, a strong effort by the art directors in what is a low-budget movie that makes no apologies for it. Phil Claydon's directing is full of enjoyment, he is constantly joking with the cameras and choices of shots that are commentaries on a commentary, further spoofing Hitchcock in the shower sequence for example.
This is a film might require a specific understanding of the Post-Modern culture we are living in to be appreciated, or it can simply be enjoyed for what it is. It is neither violent nor scary, but this is not necessarily a bad thing and it might be here that lies its charm, those who will let go of politically correct preoccupations of what a film or a title of a film should be about will inevitably enjoy this light hearted comedy as it has plenty of opportunities to laugh out loud, if you are not too worried what the person next to you or the eminent critics will think of you and you just join in the fun!
So I can't understand the poor rating for this film, except to think it
was marketed to the wrong people (by accident).
What this film is not... 1) A horror film. There are no scares, it's not a fright fest. It's not even really what I would term "gory". 2) This is not Evil Dead, or Shawn or the Dead, but more like Army of Darkness. 3) This is not a porn film, there is little nudity, but if you like to see hot ladies, barely clothed, then...
What this film is... 1) Pure camp and all out laughs 2) lots of action and hilarious special effects. 3) An amazing soundtrack even for a high budget A movie. 4) Non stop memorable scenes and one liners. Based on a lot of reviews from IMDb, critics, and other sites, it seems many who watched this film expected something quite different. To me it's a modern day comic masterpiece Cordon as Fletch and McGann as the Vicar were my favorite characters. The beautiful lead vampires played by Silvia and Vera were amazing and right there as well. The rest of the cast (Mathew and Myanna especially) were also great and did just what they needed to do.
This movie is fun sober or wasted. Enjoy either way just take things a little less seriously...
I can't understand why this film has such low reviews. It's funny and stylish with a decent budget. I'm from the states, so I had never heard of Corden or Horne before. They made me laugh a few times, since they're professional comedians and everything, and Horne is attractive. A few people I talked to said they were disappointed the lesbianism wasn't taken farther - okay, go see a girl on girl flick. I like camp and b-films and this was definitely one of the better ones I've seen. It's actually funny and cute as all hell. I would love to see a sequel about gay werewolves starring these two but sadly, I don't think that will happen since this film wasn't a smash success. Also, as a woman, I didn't find anything terribly disgusting or cruel regarding the deaths of any of the characters...although vanquishing an ancient lesbian evil with a cock sword could been seen as offensive - whatever! It's schlock! It's fun! Calm down and laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Better than most - by a long shot.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
In a Small Village, all girls that turn 18 become lesbian vampires,
thanks to a curse that Camilla, a lesbian vampire queen who was
defeated by Baron Wolfgang Maclaren, put in the villagers many
centuries ago. In the modern days, we have Jimmy and Fletch, two
friends that want to do something cool on their vacations, and decide
to go on a hiking in an unknown village( that of course, is the same
cursed village full of lesbians vampires).
At first, Fletch and Jimmy are not very excited to stay in the place, but when they meet a group of hot girls, they decide to give the place a chance. The only problems is that the girls are turning into lesbian vampires one by one, till only Lotte is left. Obviously, they will need to do something to help the other girls and to prevent Lotte from becoming a lesbian vampire as well.
''Lesbian Vampire Killers '' is a funny and silly movie. By it's title you can know what you are going to get: a B movie full of lesbian vampires, blood and nonsense! I see many people complaining about the movie, but come on! What would you expect with a movie with a title like this? It's suppose to be bad and fun! At least they are not fooling anyone!
Anyway, I loved Fletch, he was the comic star in this movie, specially with his references about the gay werewolf and his frustration with women. All the girls casted were very beautiful and most of the jokes were fun too.
Watch this movie is if you want to see blood, disgusting fluids and a funny nonsense film!
Beyond the obviously ridiculous title, this little British b-movie is
quite above the norm. It's first and foremost a comedy with some horror
elements. It has been compared to Shaun of the Dead because it's a
British horror comedy yet also a buddy movie. Although Lesbian Vampire
Killers (LBK) is not as good, clever or critical of society, it remains
quite entertaining. I was pleasantly surprised and had a very good time
watching it. LBK seems to mix in a Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen) style of
directing (alternating sped up fragments of actions and slow-motion)
with "Heroes"-like captions and comic book like transitions. I found
this quite dynamic and visually appealing. You don't usually notice
lighting but in this one I did and found it very well done, atmospheric
and at times inspired. Same thing for the musical score where it was
even appropriately epic sometimes. I'm difficult yet found the script
and situations more amusing than not.
The director knows his genre trappings. Sometimes, he revels in the clichés (funny though), sometimes he subverts them. The dialogue although not the cleverest out there was fine and did the job. I was disappointed that the very well introduced "country" girls vanished so quickly from the movie (except one), yet their respective exits were surprising and funny. I liked the hapless buddies/reluctant heroes, especially the big guy who was juvenile-minded yet comically egotistical and self-conscious. His performance seemed a bit forced sometimes though (witness his laugh in the grave). The stand-out for me though was the vicar who had the required gravitas, perfect diction and an impressive presence. Of course, one should not forget the lesbian vampires who looked and acted the part although none were really developed psychologically... A few french kisses, a couple of breasts (in the flashbacks mostly), lots of diaphanous dresses but nothing extreme or even soft-core (fortunately or not depending on your tastes :). As for gore, it's mostly white goop instead of red blood and played for (slightly) disgusting comical effect. LBK is the perfect b-movie to rent and watch with a couple of like-minded friends. It delivers everything the title promises and more. The production values and directing are also better than you might expect from such a low-budget film.
Rating: 7.5 out of 10 (Very good)
When Jimmy is dumped by his girlfriend for the umpteenth time, he
persuades his friend Fletch to join him on a hiking holiday. Arriving
in a small town, they are sent to a cottage where there is free
accommodation. It also happens to have a camper van full of girls
staying there too! But they discover that there is an ancient curse on
the girls in the village, where when a girl turns 18 they become a
This movie is the latest to try and combine the horror and comedy genres. It certainly gets the humour content spot-on. Paul Hupfield and Stewart Williams have written a very funny script. A lot of the humour does rely on the chemistry of James Corden and Mathew Horne as Fletch and Jimmy, and they are both very good too. Paul McGann gives good support as a priest who helps fight the evil in the area. The girls in the movie are very attractive, if not the best actors.
Phil Claydon directs the movie quite well. The movie looks impressive, the sets a throwback to the Hammer horror movies of the sixties.
But where the movie fails is the horror element. There never any real scares that the best horror comedy movies have. It could be that this movie is aimed purely as a comedy, that happens to be horror set, but as it is billed as a horror-comedy it has to be judged on those terms.
The effects and make-up are pretty good, and because of a lack of blood (when the vampires die, a white substance erupts from them), it is only rated a 15 in the UK.
The movie is fast paced and never out-stays it welcome and for it's running time, will have you laughing a lot. Sadly though it lacks the horror element to put it up there with the better horror comedies.
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