5.2/10
16,897
88 user 106 critic

Vampire Killers (2009)

Lesbian Vampire Killers (original title)
Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

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(screenplay), (screenplay)
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1 win & 1 nomination. See more awards »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Margarita Hall ...
Daughter of Darkness 1
...
Daughter of Darkness 2
...
Jimmy
...
Emma Clifford ...
Ms Rossi
...
Fletch
...
Steve
...
Blonde
...
...
Anke
...
Trudi
...
Heidi
John Pierce Jones ...
Landlord (as John Pierce-Jones)
...
Sidney Goatherder No.7 / The Storyteller
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Storyline

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke and Trudi have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they ... Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

Two no-hopers. One cursed village. One hell of a night! See more »

Genres:

Action | Comedy | Horror

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language, sexual content and horror violence | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

20 March 2009 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Vampire Killers  »

Box Office

Opening Weekend:

£648,634 (UK) (20 March 2009)

Gross:

£1,581,373 (UK) (3 April 2009)
 »

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (European Film Market)

Sound Mix:

Color:

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Writers Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield were challenged to think of the dumbest and yet most commercial title possible for a film, Lesbian Vampire Killers was the answer. They then went away and wrote the script. See more »

Quotes

Fletch: Yep, lesbian vampires. Just another one of God's cruel tricks to get on my tits. Even dead women'd sooner sleep with each other than get with me it would appear. But eatin' me alive, oh no, that's fine. Next time he'll have me bummed by a big gay werewolf I swear.
See more »

Connections

Featured in Here I Am (2011) See more »

Soundtracks

Woman
(Andrew Stockdale (as Stockdale) / Myles Heskett (as Heskett) / Chris Ross (as Ross))
Published by Universal Music Publishing Pty. Ltd
Performed by Wolfmother
Licensed courtesy of Universal Music Australia
Under license from Universal Music Operations
See more »

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User Reviews

 
What did you expect?
9 April 2009 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

This is for everyone who didn't like this movie. What did you expect. Really, what did you expect? You went to see a movie called Lesbian Vampire Killers. It had the lesbians, it had the vampires and oh yes, there were killings. Okay, it wasn't the best movie ever. The style was kind of like heroes meets sean of the dead. But it was as funny as other good comedies, it kept me entertained from start to finish mostly because of the lesbians but that's neither here nor there and although the plot was simple it was a nice idea. Essentially unless you like lesbians vampires and killings, and unless you one of those people who sees Matthew Horne throwing a sword at the bad guy who is in the middle of his two friends and think 'that doesn't make any sense he could have missed and hit James Corden, why didn't he just stab the sword' instead of thinking 'wow that was kick ass' then don't go and see this movie because you won't enjoy it.


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Annoying, mostly irrelevant plot hole BoxOfficePoison
'Bummed by gay werewolves' adrian_Vg
One of the best comedy/horror movies I've seen... see for yourself ThresholdDweller
Steve Coogan parodied this genre eight years ago... Max_Planck
Confusing Title Micubano
Help me pleasee? KatieeTrueBloodFan
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