5.2/10
17,752
94 user 110 critic

Vampire Killers (2009)

Lesbian Vampire Killers (original title)
Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

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(screenplay), (screenplay)
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1 win & 1 nomination. See more awards »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Margarita Hall ...
Daughter of Darkness 1
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Daughter of Darkness 2
...
Jimmy
...
...
Ms Rossi
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Fletch
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Steve
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Blonde
...
...
Anke
...
Trudi
...
Heidi
John Pierce Jones ...
Landlord (as John Pierce-Jones)
...
Sidney Goatherder No.7 / The Storyteller
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Storyline

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide, Anke and Trudi have trouble with their van and Jimmy and Fletch reach them in the forest and they ... Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

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After Twilight, The Real Party Starts See more »


Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for language, sexual content and horror violence | See all certifications »

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Details

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Release Date:

20 March 2009 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Vampire Killers  »

Box Office

Opening Weekend:

£648,634 (UK) (20 March 2009)
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Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Runtime:

| (European Film Market)

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Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
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Did You Know?

Trivia

In 2003 when the script was first created, the writers, both MTV producers at the time, intended to make the film themselves as a 'straight to DVD' B-Movie. Paul Hupfield was set to direct, and Stewart Williams was due to play the part of Fletch. See more »

Quotes

Fletch: Yep, lesbian vampires. Just another one of God's cruel tricks to get on my tits. Even dead women'd sooner sleep with each other than get with me it would appear. But eatin' me alive, oh no, that's fine. Next time he'll have me bummed by a big gay werewolf I swear.
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Soundtracks

Crying Blood
(V.V. Brown (as V V Brown))
Published by EMI Music Publishing
Performed by V.V. Brown (as V V Brown)
Licensed courtesy of Universal-Island Records Ltd
Under license from Universal Music Operations
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User Reviews

 
Intentionally corny title, surprisingly fun b-movie
2 April 2011 | by (Canada) – See all my reviews

Beyond the obviously ridiculous title, this little British b-movie is quite above the norm. It's first and foremost a comedy with some horror elements. It has been compared to Shaun of the Dead because it's a British horror comedy yet also a buddy movie. Although Lesbian Vampire Killers (LBK) is not as good, clever or critical of society, it remains quite entertaining. I was pleasantly surprised and had a very good time watching it. LBK seems to mix in a Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen) style of directing (alternating sped up fragments of actions and slow-motion) with "Heroes"-like captions and comic book like transitions. I found this quite dynamic and visually appealing. You don't usually notice lighting but in this one I did and found it very well done, atmospheric and at times inspired. Same thing for the musical score where it was even appropriately epic sometimes. I'm difficult yet found the script and situations more amusing than not.

The director knows his genre trappings. Sometimes, he revels in the clichés (funny though), sometimes he subverts them. The dialogue although not the cleverest out there was fine and did the job. I was disappointed that the very well introduced "country" girls vanished so quickly from the movie (except one), yet their respective exits were surprising and funny. I liked the hapless buddies/reluctant heroes, especially the big guy who was juvenile-minded yet comically egotistical and self-conscious. His performance seemed a bit forced sometimes though (witness his laugh in the grave). The stand-out for me though was the vicar who had the required gravitas, perfect diction and an impressive presence. Of course, one should not forget the lesbian vampires who looked and acted the part although none were really developed psychologically... A few french kisses, a couple of breasts (in the flashbacks mostly), lots of diaphanous dresses but nothing extreme or even soft-core (fortunately or not depending on your tastes :). As for gore, it's mostly white goop instead of red blood and played for (slightly) disgusting comical effect. LBK is the perfect b-movie to rent and watch with a couple of like-minded friends. It delivers everything the title promises and more. The production values and directing are also better than you might expect from such a low-budget film.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10 (Very good)


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