Bibleman (TV Series)

Divided We Fall (2004)

Maylo McCaslin: U.N.I.C.E., L.U.C.I.

Quotes 

• Wacky Protestor : I just got a brilliant idea! I could make my own show, and warp the mind of every child in the world. Hey, it worked for Larry Boy.

  L.U.C.I. : Who's Larry Boy?

  Wacky Protestor : Never mind.

• L.U.C.I. : [Wacky Protester plans to infiltrate the nation's most popular children's TV show with his own live satellite feed]  This is hilarious!

  Mr. Funky : Good morning, good morning! It's Saturday morning! And you know what time it is. Time for MR. FUNKY'S WILD TIME! Rise and shine! Before we go and visit Schnooky and Bubbles, I want all you kids to... jump up and down, scream as loud as you can, and run around the TV. Do exactly as Schnooky and Bubbles do.

  [an animated bear and dog chase each other, and beat each other up] 

  Wacky Protestor : Oh, it is so clever!

  L.U.C.I. : It's the #1 children's show in the nation.

  Wacky Protestor : Well, I'm not surprised. It's so influential, so powerful...! I just got a brilliant idea! I could make my own show. Or take over this one. By using my multi-digital 24-track plasma-digitizing set, with a side of bleu cheese, I could control what Mr. Funky says and does.

  L.U.C.I. : In other words, you're going to put words in Mr. Funky's mouth and nobody will know the difference?

  Wacky Protestor : Exactly! *My* Mr. Funky is going to tell children that authority figures are nothing but a bunch of fuddy-duddies, who are out there just to make sure nobody has any fun.

  L.U.C.I. : Oh, this sounds good.

  Wacky Protestor : Just imagine a nation of lying, self-willed, disobedient, rebellious, out-of-control brats! Not to mention their children.

  L.U.C.I. : This could get out of control.

  Wacky Protestor : Bingo. That's the plan.

• Wacky Protestor : Look, they're having a spat.

  [Meaning Bibleman, Biblegirl and Company] 

  Wacky Protestor : This is the best reality television show that I've ever seen. You know what? I should air this.

  L.U.C.I. : Yeah, you'd get great ratings. We could call it BIBLE RIVALS.

  Wacky Protestor : Or how about... CHRISTIAN CONFLICTS?

  L.U.C.I. : Or what about... SCHISM?

• L.U.C.I. : ...I have an idea.

  Wacky Protestor : Silence! I'm thinking.

  L.U.C.I. : I was just gonna suggest...

  Wacky Protestor : I don't need your suggestions right now.

  L.U.C.I. : Why don't you just infiltrate?

  Wacky Protestor : Wait, I told you... I don't... What... Wait. Hold on a second... Wait. Why don't I just infiltrate. Oh, I have such brilliant ideas!

  L.U.C.I. : Your brilliance puts me to shame.