At a Catholic high school, the popular girl teams up with a sophomore newspaper reporter to investigate a case of stolen SAT exams. Once the duo target their suspects, a larger conspiracy is unearthed.
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For Tes (Akerman) and her two cohorts Kara (Nikki Reed) and Dawn (Deborah Ann Woll), the job sounded simple enough: intercept a double-cross drug shipment for their crime boss Mel (Willis) ... See full summary »
Deborah Ann Woll
A NASA astronaut (Thornton), forced to retire years earlier so he could save his family farm, has never given up his dream of space travel and looks to build his own rocket, despite the government's threats to stop him.
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Chad Udall is a young attorney whose life has been turned upside down when his license to practice law is suspended and his marriage fails. Unfortunately, his misfortunes are only the ... See full summary »
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High School. Four of the most important years of your life. But it isn't always dances and keg parties and sucking face in your parents' mini-van. Sometimes it's ugly and hard and complicated. As complicated as a conspiracy to overthrow the president. There's something rotten at St. Donovan's High and sophomore newspaper reporter Bobby Funke is on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. When senior hottie Francesca Facchini solicits Funke's help tracking down a set of stolen SATs, Funke uncovers a story dirtier than the lunch lady's mustache. After he fingers the school president (figuratively) for the crime, Funke becomes one of the most popular kids at St. Donovan's High. No longer known simply as the freshman who was once tied to a giant snowman penis, Funke wins the respect of everyone from the Desert-Storm-hero-turned-educator Principal Kirkpatrick to the kid that farts on him in Spanish class. When Francesca takes Funke to homecoming, even the in-school ... Written by
Yari Film Group
The screenplay for this film was featured in the 2006 Blacklist; a list of the "most liked" unmade scripts of the year. See more »
The Spanish teacher mispronounces the word "página." See more »
You want to know the truth about high school? You've got to break it down into its elements. Unfortunately, at St. Donovan's, the periodic table is more crooked than a case of scoliosis. Just give me the chance and I'll set it all straight. Case in point, Spanish homework. "Dame un batido de esperma" does not mean, "Take me to the airport." It means, "Give me a sperm milkshake." And 22 kids gave that as an answer in Spanish 3 last week. I'm not sure about the milkshake, ...
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Either it's heaven or hell, the four years of high school define us, like it or not, preparing us for adulthood. Some of us are already "old" by that time and the lead hero, Bobby Funke, of the breezy, smart aleck school satire/mystery/coming-of-age opus, "Assassination Of a High School President", is definitely one of them.
If he's not correcting the way people pronouncing his last name (the "e" is silent); noting his grade status, despite his baby face (sophomore); trying (and failing) to get his driver's license or downplaying the event of him being tied to a giant penis made out of snow (!), Funke (Reece Daniel Thompson of "Rocket Science") is trying to be a wunderkind newshound at the Catholic high school he attends, St. Donovan. Problem is he hasn't finished a piece.
So, the paper's editor (spunky Melonie Diaz of "Raising Victor Vargas") assigns Funke to do a piece on class prez/basketball player Paul Moore (Patrick Taylor). Moore's basically a himbo, but also becomes a patsy when the SAT tests scores are stolen from the principal's office. Seeing himself akin to Washington Post reporters Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, Funke rolls with the story and becomes a hero. He even gets the amorous respect of Moore's ex-girl, the popular Francesa Fachini (Mischa Barton of "The O.C.").
However, things are more sinister, especially involving Moore's successor/Francesa's step-sib, handsome but sleazy Marlon Piazza (Luke Grimes of the TV drama, "Brothers and Sisters") and that puts Funke is a tight squeeze between high school popularity and journalistic integrity.
An entry at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival, "Assassination" is a dark, witty romp that plays on the inanities of high school by putting them in a mystery/pulp noir bag. Sure, "Brick" did it before, but "Assassination" has more humor, subtle and loud, thanks to first-time feature film helmer Brett Simon (did some music videos) and tyro scribes Tim Calpin and Kevin Jakubowski (both were crew members on "South Park").
A younger version of Tom Cruise but with likable geekiness, Thompson shines with an old man complex (he's probably the only student who knows who the aforementioned reporters are!). He wants to belong, but the environment's twisted and immature, despite it being a Catholic high school. Barton's pretty durable in the junior femme fatale role, not deserving the attacks from people who probably never went to an acting class.
The surprise here's Bruce Willis (how the **** did he get in this and you know what he's been in, mother******) as the school's hard ass principal, war vet Jared T. Kirkpatrick, who has a zero-tolerance policy against gum chewing and reminisces about his Gulf War days. Like Adam Baldwin's John Casey of "Chuck", Kirkpatrick's a mentally jittery trigger who resents being in a mundane workplace, infested with social scofflaws.
Some of said individuals help with Funke's investigation, including perverts Dutch Middleton (Joe Perrino) and Ricky Delacruz (Vincent Piazza, also of "Science" and "Boardwalk Empire") and jailbait stripper Sam Landis (Cameron Diaz-like Tanya Fischer of the new TV version of "The Defenders").
The faculty's nuts too. Josh Pais ("Teeth") is a Spanish-language teacher who has an inappropriate lust over the students. Nurse Platt (Kath Morris of "Cold Case") is no different but more hippie-like. Michael Rappaport ("Hitch", "Big Fan") is an overgrown teenager of a basketball coach who's actually a English teacher. The inmates have taken over, people.
With cleverness and echoes from "Chinatown", "Rushmore", "The Usual Suspects" and "Assassin of Youth", "Assassination" is a nice nutty take on how high school can be both cruel and hysterical. It's a nice movie to watch on a Saturday night, if nothing's good on the TV.
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