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(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Homer: Aw, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?

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Todd Flanders: Mr. Simpson, why did you hurt the dollies?

Homer: Well, son, your uncle Homer is like 80% of Americans: hopped up on prescription drugs.

Rod Flanders: But users are losers.

Homer: You're confusing drugs with "druuuugs!"

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Lisa: Why do you listen to this magazine? It's a Larry Flint publication.

Marge: Lisa, stop reading mastheads.

Lisa: I can't. I won't!

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Bart: Why am I sleeping, when next door is every kid's dream? A fat, easily susceptible zombie dad.

[Homer is under the effects of a sleeping pill]

Bart: Hey, zombie. Want to come outside and play?

Homer: Zombie kill.

Bart: No, play.

Homer: Zombie file grievance.

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Homer: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one?

Lisa: That's just someone barbecueing.

Homer: Oh. Is that one?

Bart: That's just a guy with red hair.

Homer: Oh.

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Lisa: I've read that people do strange things in their sleep when they've taken Ambien... I mean Nappien.

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Homer: Marge, when next you see me, I'll be a soggy, smokey hero. Mmm. Soggy, smokey hero.

Marge: Just come back alive, okay?

Homer: Don't tell me how to do my job.

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Homer: [after the dog gives Maggie his squeaky toy] Good job, boy. As a reward, we're going to treat your heart murmur, and not just see how it goes.

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Marge: I'm sorry, Maggie, but growing up means giving up the things you love.

Grampa: It's true. I had to give up everything but raisins, and the doctor says even those are killing me. Sweet, plump coffin nails they are.

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Homer: We're not thieves. We're scavengers. Like the beautiful vulture, the heroic tapeworm, and America's sweetheart, the maggot.

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Mayor Quimby: Your sense of civic duty, and this pamphlet that came with the fire extinguisher are the only training you need or shall ever receive.

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Homer: Are you a travel agent? Because you're sending me on a guilt trip.

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Homer: Look at me! I'm stealing five Segways at once. And speaking of segueways, I'm off to my next morally questionable activity.

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Bart: And that's just one of the many fun things we can do.

Homer: Zombie montage.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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