Hallo Panda (2006)

 |  Short, Comedy  |  1 November 2006 (UK)
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Ratings: 6.3/10 from 67 users  
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An unromantic comedy about a man who has to masturbate a talking black and white bear.


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Cast overview, first billed only:
Steven Beckingham ...
Panda's Voice (voice)
Panda's Body / Gorilla
Cariad Lloyd ...
Neil Edmond ...
Lee Kern ...
Mark Taylor ...
Lin, Chinese Tourist
Jimmy Chan ...
Chinese Tourist
China ...
Pole Dancer
Crystal ...
Pole Dancer
Don Knee ...
Zoo Workers & The General Public
Tom Golding ...
Zoo Workers & The General Public


An unromantic comedy about a man who has to masturbate a talking black and white bear.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Boy meets Girl. Boy loses Girl. Boy wanks off talking Panda...


Short | Comedy



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Release Date:

1 November 2006 (UK)  »

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Production Co:

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Did You Know?


Spoofs The Shawshank Redemption (1994) See more »


Composed by Keith Malin and Gavin Beckwith
Arranged by Daniel Teper
Vocals by Benedict Wong
See more »

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User Reviews

Wonderfully quirky (and that is a compliment and a criticism)
6 May 2007 | by (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews

Mark works at the local zoo and deeply fancies fellow employee and moth expert Sarah. However he has gone to the pub with her, chatted to her, expressed an interest in things she is interested in but yet she steadfastly refuses to see him as anything other than a friend. Will he ever be able to break into a relationship stage with it? Ironic then that Mark is also in charge of helping an disinterested male panda breed with Mao-Mao, a visiting female of the species.

The plot summary, the humour, the direction all signpost this film as being something quirky and unusual that a couple of us will stumble into thanks to a good eye for short films in the TV schedules and a ready supply of video tapes. This is how it was for me and I wasn't sure what it was doing as I started watching it. However it very quickly won me over by how imaginative and silly the whole thing was. On one hand we had a genuine thread where a man cannot seem to develop a relationship with a colleague (who is a geek as well) but then on the other we have this other side where he confides in a talking panda who has issues of his own to be dealing with! It is a really nice mix and it makes the main (?) human plot seem more interesting than it actually is.

It is a shame that it isn't as brilliant as the concept sounds it could have been. It isn't "real" enough in regards the feelings but yet it is funny or clever enough to really succeed on those terms along. However it is consistently unusual and, dare I say, quirky and for me this was enough to make it worth seeing. The Blaine's write and direct really well and the film has a great look and feel to it. The cast are solid with the surprise inclusion of Wong as the panda (Wong now in UK sci-fi Sunshine). The panda suit is really impressive; of course you're never going to mistake it for the real thing but it has great expression and facial movements.

Overall then this is a wonderfully quirky short film. Is it all it could be in every area? Well, no, and that is a shame but it has enough going for it to make for an enjoyable 25 minutes even it hasn't got enough to make it stick in your memory or come rushing back for repeat viewings.

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