The Campus Cop: I need your noise permit for the Vesuvius party.
Cappie: Are you yankin' me? Since when does that rule get enforced?
The Campus Cop: Since I was hired.
Cappie: Oh, okay. I get it. So, uh, Officer Huck. You look like you could use a little break. You wanna come in we'll set you up with a nice cold beer? That's what Officer Bob always did. Where is Good Old Bob anyway?
The Campus Cop: Rehab.
Jen K: I'm Jen K. There are three other Jens in the ZBZ house. Jen R, Jen B, and Jen Y. Funny, huh? Jen Y? Like, Gen Y.
Ben Bennett: So David got stoned with the Philistines, cool!
Dale: No! No, ok, David smote the Philistine with a stone. Not smoked with the Philistines and got stoned, ok! It's totally different! You go to college?!
Dale: [after stealing the module] Rusty, I can't go to jail! I have serious food allergies!
Cappie: So you just have to avoid doing something embarrassing for 48 hours.
Rusty Cartwright: I can do that!
Cappie: Your fly's open.
Casey Cartwright: Oh is it too sexy? Too Angelina-homewrecker, not enough human ambassador?
Gladys: That's a very jazzy jacket. No one wears madras anymore.
Cappie: More's the pity! And might I say the same about your lovely sweater; why did they stop putting sequins on wool?
Casey Cartwright: Like Derek, my high school boyfriend. His mom said I was the daughter she never had, and she had a daughter. It was so awkward.