Day before yesterday I picked me car up from the garage. Geezer says, "Over there, mate. Key's in the ignition". I looked, and I cannot bloody believe it. The car is only FOUR foot long! I said, "What's this?". He goes, "It's your car". I said, "What ya mean it's my FUCKING CAR?". He said, "That's what it was like when you dragged it in here." And I said, "Don't fuck me about, how did I drive that here when it's only two foot six tall?". He said, "Ya must've put on some weight." Thought I was ...