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"The Office" Product Recall (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Jim Halpert: [Jim sits at his desk, dressed like Dwight] Question, what kind of bear is best?

Dwight Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.

Jim Halpert: False. Black bear.

Dwight Schrute: Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.

Jim Halpert: Fact, bears eat beets. Bears, beets, "Battlestar Galactica."

Dwight Schrute: Bears do not... What is going on? What are you doing?

Jim Halpert: [in confessional] Last week, I was in a drugstore, and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble, and that is a grand total of $11.

Dwight Schrute: [Back at their desks] You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. So I thank you.

[Jim takes a bobblehead doll out of his suitcase and sets it on his desk]

Dwight Schrute: Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!

Jim Halpert: [imitating Dwight] Michael!

Dwight Schrute: Oh, that's funny. Michael!

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Customer: I'm calling the Better Business Bureau!

Michael Scott: Yeah, well, I'm calling the Ungrateful Biatch Hotline!

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[Andy has just found out his girlfriend is a high school student]

Andy Bernard: [horrified] Oh, my God!

Jim Halpert: Oh, *my* God.

Andy Bernard: I had no idea!

Jim Halpert: [grinning] Well, that's not gonna hold up in court.

Andy Bernard: We didn't do anything illegal. Except knock over a mailbox with her friends.

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Kelly Kapoor: [singing to the tune of "Hollaback Girl"] This day is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! This day is bananas! B-A-N-A...

Angela Martin: [cut to Angela taking some aspirin] I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing.

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Jim Halpert: Lord, beer me strength.

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[Dwight comes in dressed as Jim as revenge]

Dwight Schrute: Pam.

[drums on her desk]

Pam Beesly: [amused] Hey, Dwight. You look really nice today.

Dwight Schrute: [scoffs] I look like an idiot!

[goes over to his desk]

Dwight Schrute: He, Karen.

[flattens his hair to make it more like Jim's]

Karen Filippelli: Hey, Dwight. Looking sharp.

Dwight Schrute: Yeah, that's 'cause I'm your boyfriend, Jim Halpert.

[Karen smiles]

Dwight Schrute: Hey, Karen. Wanna get together later and have sexual intercourse 'cause you're my girlfriend?

Jim Halpert: [looks at Karen] Do you?

Karen Filippelli: No. I'm good. Thanks.

Jim Halpert: Okay.

[Dwight imitates Jim's expressions; Jim is impressed]

Jim Halpert: Look at that.

Dwight Schrute: I'm Jim Halpert.

Jim Halpert: Spot on.

Dwight Schrute: [makes some more faces and mumbles] A little comment.

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Andy Bernard: So, Tuna, when we get in there, let's do a really good job, okay?

Jim Halpert: Did that really need to be said?

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Michael Scott: Andy, you go.

Andy Bernard: [in a British accent] William Dolittle at your service, a.k.a. Will Do.

Jim Halpert: Yeah, I'm definitely going to go alone.

Michael Scott: No! No! I need two men on this! That's what she said. No time! But she did. No time!

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Creed Bratton: The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did when I was a homeless man.

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Michael Scott: The watermark, it's a one-time thing.

Barbara Allen: I don't care! It was disgusting. Cartoon characters having sex?

Dwight Schrute: May I point out that the sex appeared to be consensual? Both animals were smiling.

Michael Scott: Okay.

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Dwight Schrute: I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right.

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Andy Bernard: [in Andy's car] Beer me.

Jim Halpert: What's that?

Andy Bernard: Hand me that water.

[Jim does so]

Andy Bernard: I always say, "Beer me." Gets a laugh, like, a quarter of the time.

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Jim Halpert: [imitating Dwight] Fact: bears eat beets. Bears, beets, "Battlestar Galactica."

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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