- Kenneth Parcell: [to Tracy's recently estranged wife] I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.
- Devon Banks: [knowing Jack can't eat meat on account of his heart condition] Here. Why don't you take some of my steak. I could never eat this much meat.
- Jack Donaghy: [knowing Banks is trying to pass himself off as straight] That's not what I hear.
- [laughs]
- Devon Banks: You familiar with the Church of Practicology?
- Jack Donaghy: You mean the cult that was invented by Stan Lee?
- Devon Banks: The religion founded by the alien king living inside Stan Lee. See, it's my faith in Practicology that has helped me uncover my true, straight self. It's definitely working. I can totally feel the gay draining right out of me. By the eye of Zolnak, right, guys?
- Dr. Leo Spaceman: Now, Jenna, medically speaking, for your height, your weight puts you in what we call the disgusting range. Fortunately, there are solutions. For example, crystal meth has been shown to be very effective. How important is tooth retention to you?
- Jenna Maroney: It's pretty important. What about my crazy surgical options, Dr. Spaceman?
- Dr. Leo Spaceman: Oh, please, Dr. Spaceman is my dad. Call me Leo. And there are some wonderful crazy surgical options. Are you familiar with the Bradshaw Clinic?
- Jenna Maroney: Am I? That's where the Olsen twins were separated!
- Dr. Leo Spaceman: I've sent a number of my famous clients there. I can make a call, get you in as soon as possible.
- Jenna Maroney: Thank you, Leo. I can't be on television looking like I just had a baby or something.
- Dr. Leo Spaceman: [chokes up] You know, this right here is why I got into medicine.
- Jenna Maroney: [Jenna walks up to Liz's apartment] I'm keeping it!
- Liz Lemon: [clearly confused] Keeping what?
- Jenna Maroney: The fat. I'm keeping it, because I get off on it and people recognize it.
- Liz Lemon: No, if you're gonna do this it's gotta be because we're proving a point to the world.
- Jenna Maroney: Ugh! I'm not trying to prove anything. And you've got to stop telling people how to run their lives.
- Liz Lemon: That's not what this is.
- Jenna Maroney: It's hard to take advice from a single woman who's using her treadmill as a hanger for a wedding dress.
- Liz Lemon: [sarcastically] Oh, and I'm supposed to put it in the closet with ham hat all over it.
- Jenna Maroney: And who's wearing a one-piece swimsuit instead of underwear.
- Liz Lemon: I have to do laundry.