Jack Donaghy: ...let me ask you a question, Kenneth. If Mr. Bright here told you to vote Republican, would you do it?
Kenneth Parcell: Oh, uh, no, sir. I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name!
Jack Donaghy: That's Republican. We count those.
Kenneth Parcell: I don't choose Democrat or Republican because choosing is a sin, so I just write in the Lord's name.
Jack: That's Republican; we count those.
Liz Lemon: If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
Dennis Duffy: I knew that girl was eighteen. She told me that her last boyfriend was Asian, and that crap doesn't start until college.
Jack Donaghy: [about Richard Nixon] God bless that wiretapping bastard!
Jack: Save it Liz, I booked the 911 Bird. Winston here saved his owner by dialing 911 and yelling fire only because he didn't know the word for rape.
Michael Bloomberg: For his exceptional courage, the City of New York bestows the Bronze Medallion on Dennis Duffy.
Dennis Duffy: Thank you Mayor Bloomberger. I accept this honor on behalf of every -
Dennis Duffy: Stern Rules! Baba Booey!
Bucky Bright: [Kenneth leads retired 50's TV writer Bucky Bright to the writers' room] We used to call this the "Jew room".
Jack: Jonathan's going to round up all the cool Republican celebrities.
Liz Lemon: [laughs] Like who, Chuck Norris?
Jack: No, C-No and I had a falling out after I switched to another dojo.
Frank Rossitano: Wow. I never would have had the guts to do what that dude did.
Liz Lemon: You don't know that.
Frank Rossitano: I do know. I've watched seven different people die in subway stations.
Jack Donaghy: Dot com, this need you have to be the smartest guy in the room is... off putting.
Dot Com: I guess that's why I'm still single.
[walks off downtrodden]
Bucky Bright: Back then we didn't have pages, you know. We had what we called 'sandwich girls'.
Kenneth Parcell: Oh, because they got you sandwiches?
Bucky Bright: No, no, no, two guys 'd get... Hey, my old dressing room.
Tracy Jordan: Now if you'll excuse me, Nixon asked me to take some stuff out of his Wikipedia page.
[holds up a screwdriver]
Bucky Bright: [about Lemon] Well that's one mouthy sandwich girl, isn't it?