Colleen: [Jack's mother is visiting him in the hospital] Tell him his mother's here. An' she loves him. But not in a queer way.
Liz Lemon: [gasping at Dr. Spaceman covered in blood] Ah!
Dr. Leo Spaceman: What? This? No, no. I was at a costume party earlier this evening, and the hostess's dog attacked me so... I had to stab it.
Liz Lemon: All right, I'll go. But I want a lobster!
Jack Donaghy: Okay.
Liz Lemon: I want two lobsters! Totaling five pounds of lobster meat!
Jack Donaghy: Maybe this is the drugs talking, but I think I got Nixon to agree to come on the show and say, "Sock it to me."
Phoebe: No, no there has to be some sort of mistake. I'm his fiancée!
Hannah: I'm sorry. You're not family and you're not his emergency contact. His mother can go in if she wants to.
Colleen: Oh, no! I'm not going in there. I go in there, I get bird flu, I don't come out.