[
from trailer]
Larry:
Dang, my hand hasn't been this sore since the first episode of Baywatch!
Larry:
[
telling Madeleine to flee] You need to speed it up. I'm trying to execute a flawless ejaculation.
Larry:
What in tarnation?
Omar:
Get you fucking hands up!
Larry:
I should have known you was a Nazi!
Omar:
Nazi? You stupid inbred country hick retard! I'm Hezbollah!
Larry:
Then I guess this'll have to be settled 'mano e mano'. Get your dukes up!
Sheriff Smoot:
He's taken a hostage, calls her Buttercup, I don't know if it's his girlfriend or his horse.
Larry:
With Elmer it's the same thing.
Larry:
Having money isn't the same thing as having class you know.
Madeleine:
What are you doing with a possum in your glove box?
Larry:
You found Wally?
Connie:
Where's your warrant to bust in here?
Agent Orange:
I can answer that in two words, national security.
Connie:
I can answer back with two more words. Bull
[
pumps shotgun]
Connie:
shit!
Larry:
The only way they're going to go away is if you give up the key.
Madeleine:
Or if I'm dead...
Larry:
...Yeah, I could kill you but then I'd have a lot of explaining to do.
Larry:
I'm gonna shove that BlackBerry up where it's gonna be a BrownBerry.
Larry:
Ah. Boy, Connie, you know what your malts do to me?
Connie:
Countin' on it, darlin'. I get off in an hour.
Larry:
Ain't gonna take that long. I got Crisco at my house.
Larry:
You gotta be kidding me. That girl had more scars on her chest than Frankenstein.
Bo:
That's because she was mauled by a bear. But her boobs were real.
Madeleine:
Are you trying to imply that you didn't just break wind?
Larry:
That little squeak? That was all you, sugar. Believe me, if I let one fly, they'll pick that up on the Doppler.
Larry:
How can I trust you?
Wilford Duvall:
Trust me?
Larry:
Yeah, trust you.
Wilford Duvall:
Trust this.
[
Duval pulls out a gun, Larry passes gas]
Larry:
Oh. That was a fear fart.
Arthur Grimsley:
Well played, for a hillbilly.
Larry:
Hey, I won. That means I get to go to your big hoedown tonight.
Arthur Grimsley:
In your dreams.
Larry:
No, I dream about getting a nut rub from Scarlett Johansson. That ain't gonna happen.
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