"Secret Diary of a Call Girl"
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Our favorite sophisticated hooker Belle returns from three weeks of sand and sex with a millionaire client. She tells us it's not all it's cracked up to be. Then she returns to her own place -- a new big house. There's a card from Ben waiting for her. Oh dear. She shows us around and is haunted by visions of Ben, who professed his love for her when last we saw him. She has to get to work. She tarts up for her new client, Liam, a judge. She expects him to be old and gouty, but he's young and cute. He empties his pockets of pills and announces it's time for the shower. Cut to Belle astride him, working her best to no avail. He flings her off him. They try again -- against the wall. Nothing. Then on the floor. He's getting nowhere.

She tells him it's very strange. He says he took some helpers because there's no mystique. He says nothing gets him excited anymore. Except now he has a large problem of excitement he can't seem to get rid of. She suggests solutions, including sticking it in an ice bucket, tapping it with a spoon or slamming it in a door.

Finally, Liam gets dressed. He has a message from Stephanie, Belle's former madam. She was picked up for speeding and they found a bag of cash, three fake passports and one giant sex toy in her trunk. She's in the slammer.

Belle visits. Stephanie wants her to run things while she's away. Belle says she's more of a "front line worker" than management. Stephanie has another favor.

Cut to Belle going to an apartment building to meet Poppy, who turns out to be Stephanie's daughter. And she thinks she's staying with Belle. She unloads purses at Belle's place then asks to use the bathroom. Poppy thinks her mom is a corporate head hunter. She thinks her mom is in Saudi Arabia on a job.

Belle goes to get Poppy bedding and Ben calls. Belle doesn't answer.

Later, outside her place, Ben sneaks up on her. She invites him in. She tries to small talk, but he stops her, saying he knows she's trying to come up with a way to turn him down. "That's the point, Hannah, I know you better than you know yourself," he says.

He takes out a black marker and tries to make a list of pros and cons on her wall. She gets angry and he says he'll wait so as not to rush her.

The next day, she goes to visit Liam the Judge. He tells her Stephanie's cell was searched last night and they found her phone and ledger. Belle insists she doesn't want to be a madam. They're interrupted by Liam's secretary. The surprise seems to do the trick for him. Belle steps out for a moment and comes back in in judges robes, wig and underwear. She climbs on top of him and tells him to explain himself to the court. The leave the door open and she reminds him they could get caught at any moment. She posits that he doesn't enjoy sex unless it's a risk. "Objection! Conjecture and innuendo!" he moans, then finally is able to finish.

Later, Belle tells him this was a one time solution, he needs to find a connection with someone. He hands her the ledger, saying Stephanie will be out in a few weeks. She agrees.

Later at her house, Belle looks out the window and smiles. Ben is there. He tells her life is messy, but the alternative is that she hides out in her house. She says if she loses him she'll have no one. He says she won't. He says she's not her job and he can handle it. They kiss.
Page last updated by DetectiveBriscoe, 4 years ago
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