- Jackson Stewart: Hannah Montana has never canceled a concert before, and she not about to start now. I know that would just break your heart... and when your heart breaks, Baby Sis, so does mine.
- Miley Stewart: [hands Robbie Ray the board]
- Robbie Stewart: [reads] You got a hot date for the concert, don't ya, Jerkson?
- Miley Stewart: [turns her head to Jackson]
- Jackson Stewart: Dad?
- Robbie Stewart: She wrote it.
- [points to Miley]
- Jackson Stewart: I can't believe you think I'm that selfish that I'll put my own...
- Robbie Stewart: What's her name?
- Jackson Stewart: Jenny, and she's a total babe.
- Miley Stewart: [looks at Jackson, disgusted]
- Jackson Stewart: So put a cork in it, Froggy. I got a lot riding on this.
- Robbie Stewart: Uh uh uh... use the pad.
- [hands her the board]
- Miley Stewart: [hits Jackson With it]
- Jackson Stewart: [rubs Arm]
- Robbie Stewart: Couldn't have said it better myself.
- Jackson Stewart: Besides, what do you think's gonna happen? Just as the surgery's about to start, a meteor hits a bus, the bus drives into a hot dog stand, a giant neon weiner flies into the power lines, the lights go off in the operating room and the next thing you know, you're spending the rest of your life singing like Aunt Pearl after she swallowed that kazoo, remember?
- [Imitates kazoo]
- Miley Stewart: Oh no! I'm not gonna be Hannah Montana again all because of a giant weiner!
- Jackson Stewart: [buttering toast] You want some toast, I bet you do.
- Robbie Stewart: Please add some jam and butter too.
- Jackson Stewart: We're out of grape, so sad. It's all your fault, you bad dad.
- Robbie Stewart: You know what, son?
- Jackson Stewart: Yeah, dad?
- Robbie Stewart: You got nerve!
- Dr. Meyer: [reassuring Miley that her surgery will be fine] Don't worry about it. It'll be fine. I could do it blindfolded. But I won't. I'm just saying that I could. Not that you'd know. You'd be out cold! Doesn't that make you feel better? It doesn't, does it? I should stop now.
- Miley Stewart: You think?
- Robbie Stewart: [in a nightmare, where Miley is a down-trodden washerwoman] Wait a minute. What's that in the corner of your mouth? Have you been eating the burnt bits off the broiler pan again?
- Miley Stewart: But, daddy! I'm just so hungry!
- [Eats more burnt bits]
- Miley Stewart: Mmm! Month-old trout skin! My favorite!
- Miley Stewart: [after hearing that she would have a one-in-a-million chance of losing her voice after surgery] Daddy, there was a one-in-a-million chance that you'd be a rock star, and that happened. There was a one-in-a-million chance that I'd be a pop star, and that happened. Face it! This family's One-In-A-Million Central!
- Robbie Stewart: There are certain things a daddy knows. I know that the sun's gonna be up tomorrow, I know that Uncle Earl won't be an underwear model and I know that you're gonna be just fine.