4.2/10
154
4 user 1 critic

The Extendables (2014)

A struggling and publicly disgraced Hollywood icon gets another shot at mega stardom when he is hired to star and direct an action movie in Uzbekistan.

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
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Vardell Duseldorfer
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Maria
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Sir Jeffrey
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Paint
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AD
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Burton
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Sue
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Best Boy (as Adam Smith)
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Salma Hayek (as Leslie Garza Rivera)
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Kilborn
Chuck Abernathy ...
Prop Guy
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Dancer
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News Reporter
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Crazed Fan
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Storyline

What if Inspector Clouseau bulked up on steroids, then was given the job to direct a movie? The Extendables chronicles Hollywood myth and rumor, bending together an escalating series of mishaps that lead us and The Great Vardell Duselldorfer, in the strictest dramatic terms, to climax. Written by A Bavarian Wood Whittler

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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They are NOT compensating...

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Comedy

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Details

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Release Date:

3 August 2014 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Duseldorfer  »

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Box Office

Budget:

$500,000 (estimated)
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Most of the scenes in the movie actually happened. See more »

Quotes

Vardell Duseldorfer: [Turns to face own fart] STAY!
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User Reviews

 
"I'm cake-blind!"
2 November 2015 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

Though the marketing for this movie capitalizes on the popularity of the EXPENDABLES series, be aware that this is not actually a spoof on that particular franchise. Brian Thompson – that career villain who has yet to actually take his place in Stallone's franchise – takes his first stab at directing, writing, and producing with a comedy that proclaims to be an amalgamation of his experiences working with the eccentric personalities that Sly's been recently highlighting. It's a take-it-or-leave-it premise whose goofy tone may alienate some of its intended audience but is otherwise entertaining enough to warrant a try from people interested in such an odd form of expose.

The story: Aging action star Vardell Dusseldorfer ("V.D.") (Thompson) attempts a comeback by making his directorial debut.

Thompson himself opens the video by explaining its premise as a more detailed response to the question he gets asked so often: "What's it like working with Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Seagal/Van Damme/etc.?" His answer in presented in the form of the main character, who's the biggest weirdo you could ever imagine and one of the more alienating personalities you can find on film. You can clearly see traits of the aforementioned stars in the character, and matching his antics to the rumors you've heard about the real-life personalities becomes the main source of entertainment here. Some of it's very crude, and Thompson definitely relies on hearsay for some of his stories (e.g. the Steven Seagal/Gene LeBell sleeper hold rumor, to which Brian has never been attributed), but it's still a modestly endearing homage to bizarreness, affectionately presented.

Given that this is essentially a caricature of action filmmaking, it is surprising that there is not actually any real action to be seen. The most we get is when V.D. retaliates against a practical joke by shooting up the set with a shotgun. Given this, don't expect much out of the cameos of Martin Kove, Bruce Locke, and Mark Dacascos as a writer irritated with how V.D.'s time-wasting antics play havoc with his script. Almost the entirety of the movie takes place on the set and in the lead's trailer, reflecting the movie's minimalist approach to production. Disappointingly, the actual screenplay is a little bloated, beating some jokes to death and resorting to noise whenever no one is speaking. It's fine to sit through once, but there's not much replay value here.

A previously-released film, CONFESSIONS OF AN ACTION STAR, plays with many of the same ideas but on a larger scale; consider checking that one out if THE EXTENDABLES sounds too weak for you. I don't know if Brian Thompson has a career in directing, but this feature is a serviceable effort that provides a simulated glanced into a world that Thompson has been lucky enough to be privy to. Give it a look, if it sounds like your kind of thing.


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