- Lone Starr: So, we're gonna get some golf supplies, wanna come along?
- Princess Vespa: Are you kidding? This little royal hynie was born with a credit card in her hand. Seriously, daddy had it removed.
- Prof, Yogurtdore: I'd like to dispell the recent rumors about me. I'm one hundert per cent kosher in the sausage department if you get my drift.
- Prof. Snapple: Under my direction, you will keep your shafts stiff, your heads down and get ready to watch your balls fly far. Very far.
- Prof. McGonnatrix: It's the 18th hole, and since Hairy's been using his shaggy shaft exclusively, he's almost caught up.
- Prof. McGonnatrix: Wow, Darko got it in the hole in under one shot? I guess that's a, a hole in negative one, huh? That makes him the winner!
- Lone Starr: It's him, he who cannot be named: President Scroob!
- President Skroob: I'm outta here, but first I want my damn balls back.
- Lone Starr: Oh please, I'm sick of your balls being in my face anyway.