- Sakata Gintoki: The fun's in the journey, so let's see it to the end, just like when a girl becomes a woman!
- Sakata Gintoki: If we can't catch it, you'll have to go out with some rich old ladies and scam them out of their money, Shinpachi!
- Shimura Shinpachi: Rather than worrying about an alien, we should be worrying about keeping a roof over our heads.
- Kagura: If this all there is to men, it's a wonder that any woman is ever attracted to them...
- Sakata Gintoki: Don't worry, when it comes to women and octopi, they'll eventually return to you, tails between their legs...
- Kagura: Women don't have tails.
- Sakata Gintoki: Neither do octopi!
- Shimura Shinpachi: What the hell are you guys on?
- Shimura Shinpachi: The Land of the Samurai. It's been a quite a while since our country has been called that. Twenty years ago, a race called the Amantos...
- Sakata Gintoki: Gosh, enough with that stupid introduction.
- Kagura: Just stop it.
- Shimura Shinpachi: But there might be people who are just coming in...
- Sakata Gintoki: It's ok. They wouldn't get it, even with your explanation. Just let them pick it up as they go along.
- Kagura: Yeah, if they want to learn it, they'll lick it up.
- Shimura Shinpachi: Why the hell would they lick it?
- Otose: Hey, you brainless perm-boy, get out here and pay the goddamn rent!
- Sakata Gintoki: Oh all right, I guess there's nothing for it. Here ya go. Adios.
- Otose: Hey you! What the hell? 230 yen? Aren't you mistaking your rent for your milk money, you idiot?
- Sakata Gintoki: No! I don't have shit for cash! You know that, you thick headed ho!
- Otose: If you don't have any money, then go scam a couple of rich old ladies, you naturally-permed swindler!
- Sakata Gintoki: It's always money, money, money, money with you! Why don't you go swindle someone, you harlot hag?
- Otose: If you wanna get your ass kicked, then just say so!
- Sakata Gintoki: If you want a piece of me, I'll take you on!
- Otose: I'm serious, if you don't pay up, I'm gonna throw your worthless ass out!
- Sakata Gintoki: Shinpachi?
- Shimura Shinpachi: Yes?
- Sakata Gintoki: Do you have a girlfriend?
- Shimura Shinpachi: What's with this all of a sudden?
- Sakata Gintoki: How would you like to date an older woman. Otose, that is.
- Shimura Shinpachi: [spit take] Why would I date her? Who the hell do you think I am?
- Shimura Shinpachi: Gin-san, we searched all over just to end up in this octopus pot?
- Sakata Gintoki: Octopus like to get into pots...
- Kagura: You can't usually get put into a pot until you die.
- Shimura Shinpachi: That's an urn... but hey, Gin-san, isn't this what I suggested in the first place?
- Sakata Gintoki: No, it's way different. After all this searching, I figured we deserved a little rest.
- Shimura Shinpachi: You're just too lazy to look properly!
- Sakata Gintoki: Don't let it get away! Come on, harder! This pot isn't like a young woman's heart, so don't be afraid to break it!
- Kagura: If we break it, all we need is a nice man to pick up the pieces!
- Hasegawa Taizou: You squashed it?
- Sakata Gintoki: It's not dead yet. It's undead.
- Hasegawa Taizou: Who the hell wants an undead octopus?
- Sakata Gintoki: I don't care if this country falls or not. I just want to live as long as I can by divine providence!