Edit
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" Lab Rats (TV Episode 2007) Poster

Quotes

Wendy Simms: What on god's green earth possessed you to do this?

Hodges: It was my lucky day.

Wendy Simms: What?

Hodges: It's my lucky day

Hodges: [music plays and a flashback of Hodges walking toward the crime lab appears. He finds a dollar on the ground then looks up to see a pretty woman walking by him while smiling at him. He puts the dollar in a vending machine and buys lucky chips and while going to get them two more bags fall. Then he walks into his lab and checks his email and the Three's company board game he bidded on is his. Then his results print out and he got a match of 1 out of 600 billion] When you walked away it was like the stars aligned, it was my lucky day.

Wendy Simms: Lucky? You're a scientist.

Hodges: I was trying to help Grissom

Wendy Simms: C'mon if Gil Grissom were here he'd slap your face

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Henry Andrews: So, we're looking for an obsessive, meticulous, dark assed misanthrope who seeks recognition for his efforts.

[Wendy and Henry both look towards Hodges who is sorting his chips and carrots in three neat piles]

Hodges: [without looking up] When would I find the time? I'm always here.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Gil Grissom: Did you know that rodents have skeletons with flexible joints?

Dr. Al Robbins: No.

Gil Grissom: If they can get their head through something, the rest of their body can contort to fit. They can crawl into spaces as small as a quarter.

Dr. Al Robbins: Lousy varmints.

[on seeing the fried rat, Doc laughs]

Dr. Al Robbins: Bastard hit the main line.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Wendy Simms: Well, we're working under the assumption that the killer was a foster kid, right? With probably an abusive childhood, so, a bloody baby doll. I mean, it's really not much of a stretch to say the doll represents the killer.

Hodges: Grissom had something on that.

[opens case file]

Hodges: "Freud's theory on the uncanny raises the point that as children we want the doll to come to life. But as adults, we are terrified by the idea. The doll could represent the uncanny that is feared. The Sandman."

Wendy Simms: Right, or exactly what I just said.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Henry Andrews: Can I have a chip?

Hodges: [quickly] No.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Gil Grissom: Can you smell that?

Dr. Al Robbins: Yes.

Gil Grissom: You shouldn't be able to smell that though your suit.

Dr. Al Robbins: Good to know.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: This is exactly why I didn't invite you to join us: you take over everything.

Wendy Simms: I ...

Hodges: [cutting her off] Grissom asked me to gather some techs to review the miniature cases, like a think-tank.

Wendy Simms: Yeah, I know they told me. So... kudos to you.

Hodges: I hand selected them with careful consideration to group dynamics.

Wendy Simms: Well, I can see that. I mean it's you and your backup singers. You're Davy Hodges and the Lemmings.

[with fake enthusiasm]

Wendy Simms: You should take your act out on the road.

Henry Andrews: [off screen] We can hear you.

Wendy Simms: Look, the only reason you don't like me is because I actually stand up to you, which by the way is exactly what you need. I mean, come on, you know I'd be good at all this miniature stuff.

Hodges: That's not the only reason.

Wendy Simms: Really? Okay, what is it?

Hodges: You think you're too cool.

Wendy Simms: Oh my God, what are we, twelve?

Hodges: I don't know, are we?

Wendy Simms: [steps toward him] I don't know, are we?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Wendy Simms: Look, the only reason you don't like me is because I actually stand up to you, which by the way is exactly what you need. I mean, come on, you know I'd be good at all this miniature stuff.

Hodges: That's not the only reason.

Wendy Simms: Really? Okay, what is it?

Hodges: You think you're too cool.

Wendy Simms: Oh my God, what are we, twelve?

Hodges: I don't know, are we?

Wendy Simms: I don't know, are we?

[Hodges doesn't answer]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Archie Johnson: Later betties.

Hodges: Quitter.

Archie Johnson: Glory whore.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Wendy Simms: But is it still considered food if it's alive and clucking?

Henry Andrews: Then you haven't been to Pennsylvania.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Henry Andrews: I can't even do it in front of my cat.

[Mandy snorts]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Gil Grissom: It's just a rat fellas, why you wearing the hazmat gear?

David Phillips: He made me do it.

Dr. Al Robbins: It's a wild animal covered with potentially biohazardous material, with claws. Rabies, scabies, AIDS, hepatitis, I'm thinking of this suit as a giant rubber glove.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: [on seeing Greg covered in spaghetti sauce] Some garlic bread, some nice Chianti maybe?

Greg Sanders: Kiss my ass. I'd like to see you crawl around a dumpster, determining the difference between blood and marinara sauce, with six mobster goons giving you the stink eye.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Sara Sidle: Hey.

Wendy Simms: Hey.

Sara Sidle: Here you go. I checked under the keys.

[she hands Wendy a keyboard]

Sara Sidle: Crusty white stains, pale blue under ALS.

Wendy Simms: Semen, huh? What made you check under the keys?

Sara Sidle: A butt print

[models with her hands]

Sara Sidle: on the credenza.

Wendy Simms: Yeah, okay, that's gross.

Sara Sidle: CDC contacted us because the whole office has a herpes simplex one outbreak, and nobody could figure out why. I guess you never really know what's going on in your office.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Wendy Simms: Hey Sara, is it true that the miniature cases have been keeping Grissom up at night?

Sara Sidle: [defensive] How would I know?

Wendy Simms: I just thought that maybe you guys all talk about it, and Hodges told me that Grissom confided in him and you know what, never mind, just forget I even asked.

Sara Sidle: Well, listen, I don't know what Hodges has been telling you but do you really think that Grissom would confide in him, about anything?

Wendy Simms: No, of course not.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: What?

Wendy Simms: That was a very good idea.

Hodges: Well, I have one occasionally.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: [after Wendy uses Hodges' phone to call the suspected M.K] Nice one Simms, now they have my cell phone number.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Al Robbins: [sarcastically] Nice work.

Gil Grissom: At least I tried to get him... Where were you?

Dr. Al Robbins: I *hate* rats.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Henry Andrews: [sometime after Wendy uses Hodges phone to call the killer's phone it starts ringing] Did you guys see "Scream"?

Hodges: [giving him a look but attempting to disguise his voice] Hello?... Oh, hi, Catherine. Have I seen Wendy? No, she hasn't been at her desk all day.

Wendy Simms: Gimme.

Hodges: Let me go look... for her.

[Wendy grabs the phone]

Hodges: Oh... Oh wait here she is.

Wendy Simms: Loser.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: What's this?

Wendy Simms: You frickin' broke it! That's destroying evidence

Hodges: I can fix it

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Greg Sanders: Have any of you guys seen Grissom?

[Henry, Hodges and Wendy turn around and hide the miniature]

Hodges: [they shake their heads no] Some garlic bread? Some wine maybe?

Greg Sanders: Kiss my ass. I'd like to see you crawl around in a dumpster determining the difference between blood and marinara sauce with six mobster goons giving you the stink eye

Henry Andrews: Don't know anything about that, were held up in a lab all day

Greg Sanders: What are you guys doing? You know what forget it, I don't even care. I have to go take a shower, would one of you please call janitorial and have them clean my Denali?

Wendy Simms: Sure

Greg Sanders: Oh and I think the killer might have thrown up in the alley, full panel. Enjoy.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Gil Grissom: Why are you guys wearing hazmat suits?

David Phillips: He made me!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: Four people are dead, the killer is still out there and you're mocking?

Mandy Webster: We're mocking you.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: You in or you out?

Henry Andrews: Well I don't really know anything about these cases.

Hodges: We'll review.

Henry Andrews: I don't know, I have a lot of work to do.

Hodges: And by work you mean IM-ing your Islandic penpal, who thinks you look like Warrick Brown, because that's the picture you posted.

Henry Andrews: How...

Hodges: I just know.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Henry Andrews: [Wendy walks into door frame]

[whispering]

Henry Andrews: Red dog barks at midnight.

Wendy Simms: What are you guys doing in here?

Hodges: Nothing

[everybody starts to leave the room]

Wendy Simms: [Hodges confronts Wendy] Alright freak boy, your phone has been ringing off the hook, so I finally answered it and Warrick and Nick said they have a ton off trace and they need you to clear the desks.

Hodges: No problem. After you.

Wendy Simms: After you.

Hodges: [walks away]

[Wendy stands at the door looking into the room puzzled]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hodges: It's time to start thinking outside the box.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page