Dr. Elliot Reid: [as Keith is putting on her engagement] Okay, it's a little tight. Just push harder. Okay, lifted a little skin there...
Melody O'Harra: Here come the fricks.
Dr. Elliot Reid: Just put the motherfricking ring on the motherfricking finger! Frick, frick, frick!
Dr. Elliot Reid: Mrs. Sheldon, may I just say, I hope I to look as good as you when I'm 80.
Mrs. Sheldon: I'm 68.
Dr. Elliot Reid: Do they not have sunscreen where you grew up?
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I'm not upset about Elliot.
Dr. Christopher Turk: You both have had a history together.
Nurse Carla Espinosa: You two have had more ups and downs than Ross and Rachel on Friends.
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I'm nothing like Ross.
Dr. Perry Cox: Of course not. You're Rachel, she's Ross.
Melody O'Harra: You can't go into Boobtown. That's a gated community.
[at Elliot's proposal party]
J.D.: As I looked at all the relationships around me - some that had gone on forever...
[shot of Perry and Jordan]
J.D.: ...some that were reigniting...
[shot of Carla and Turk]
J.D.: ...and some that had just begun...
[shot of Elliot and Keith]
J.D.: I realized something.
[cut to J.D. in the shower]
J.D.: It should have been me.
Melody O'Harra: I just don't wanna end up like my aunt Sheela, getting married and having a kid when I'm 50, I mean, you find a tooth in that house and you don't know which mouth it fell out of.
Melody O'Harra: Well... it's official: I am the only single sorority sister left. I guess it's true what they say: first one to be in a threesome, last one to get married.
Dr. Christopher Turk: Damn!
[beats one hand over the table where Doug is sitting at, pouring Doug's coffee over him]
Dr. Christopher Turk: I'm sorry, she just said she was in a threesome.
Dr. Doug Murphy: [having the same reaction as Turk's, and so forth] Damn!
male nurse: Damn!
Snoop Dogg Resident: [out of frame] Damn!
Melody O'Harra: I just don't want to end up like my aunt Sheila and get married and have a kid when I'm 50; I mean, you find a tooth in that house, you don't know whose mouth it fell out of.
Melody O'Harra: Sometimes I wonder, you know, if I'm ever actually going to find someone, you know?
J.D.: Yeah... Now, was it two girls and a guy, or a devil's threesome?
Melody O'Harra: All-girl.
Dr. Christopher Turk: [as J.D. lifts coffee cups from the table, he beats both his hands on it] Damn! Sorry...
Jordan Sullivan: Hey! So, I convinced the bartender to give us all the booze at your party for half price.
Nurse Carla Espinosa: [whispering] Yes!
Jordan Sullivan: Little hitch: you're gonna have to show some boob. Apparently mine did not get us all the way there. He has a soft touch, though.
Dr. Perry Cox: Lovely...
Dr. Elliot Reid: Oh, and Per... you were wrong: someone is dumb enough to love me.
Nurse Carla Espinosa: Where's your head right now?
[Cox's fantasy starts: Cox preparing canapés, he hands one to Elliot]
Dr. Elliot Reid: Perry, no! It goes cracker-apple-cheese, not cracker-cheese-apple! I know that we've only been married two days, Perry, but you should know this!
[Cox smiles while wrath grows inside him; in the next scene we see part of Elliot's corpse and a policeman handcuffing him]
Policeman: You're gonna fry for this, buddy.
[Cox smiles. End of fantasy]
Dr. Perry Cox: Worth it.
[smiles nastily and walks away]
Dr. Elliot Reid: Mrs Sheldon is the sweetest old lady, but I can't figure out what is wrong with her. She's got the most random symptoms: myalgia, alopecia, a rash.
Nurse Carla Espinosa: That is so weird... my patient, Mr Bilbray, has the same exact symptoms.
Jamie: Actually, he's my patient.
Nurse Carla Espinosa: Jamie, you're a baby intern; yesterday you asked me how to turn on your stethoscope. Now, go stand over there!