Quotes

Kevin: [motions to a "Gone With the Wind"-style dress] What the hell is that?

Jane: Theme wedding.

Kevin: What was the theme? Humiliation?

Kevin: What about you? You don't have any needs?

Jane: No. I'm Jesus.

Kevin: [helping Jane practice saying no] Jane, give me fifty bucks.

Jane: No!

Kevin: Jane, it's fifty bucks. I'll pay you back.

Jane: No.

Kevin: [takes Jane's hand] Jane... I *need* you to give me fifty bucks.

Jane: [hesitantly] No?

Kevin: Eh... not bad. Can I have your drink?

Jane: Sure.

[beat]

Jane: No! Oh, no...

Kevin: [laughing] You were doing so well!

Kevin: You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your own!

Jane: You tell him the truth or I will.

Tess: No, you won't. You wouldn't hurt a fly and you definitely wouldn't hurt me, I'm your sister.

Jane: That was yesterday. Today you're just some bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.

Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.

Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

Jane: I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

Casey: [she and Jane are in mutual friend's wedding. Casey's hair is a mess] What? Don't look at me like that! The bitch said "Up" so it's up!

Kevin: You kinda look like a shiny mermaid.

Casey: [after Jane turns down a drink offer from George] He asks if you want a drink. You smile and say, 'Vodka soda.' If you already have a drink, you down it. Then there's some flirting, some interoffice sex, an accidental pregnancy, a shot gun wedding, and a life of bliss. How many times do we have to go over this?

Jane: God, Casey, can't you keep it in your pants for one wedding?

Casey: Are you kidding? The only reason to wear this monstrous dress is that so some drunken groomsman can rip it to shreds with his teeth.

Casey: Hey, do you want to come over to my place before the party? Some of the guys from shipping are coming, and they're bringing tequila and bubble wrap.

Casey: What good is it being appreciated if no one is naked?

Jane: You write the most beautiful things. Do you actually believe in love and marriage and just pretend to be a cynic or are you actually a cynic who knows how to spin romantic crap for girls like me?

Kevin: I didn't follow that at all, but I think the second one, the spinning crap one.

[Jane has just humiliated Tess at her rehearsal dinner]

Casey: So what happened?

Jane: He needed to know the truth.

Casey: You could have told him face-to-face. I mean, I know my moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, but... if I say something's wrong, something's wrong.

Jane: You're the one who's always telling me to stand up for myself.

Casey: Yeah, but that's not what you did. What you did was unleash twenty years of repressed feelings in one night. It was entertaining, don't get me wrong, but if it was the right thing to do, you'd feel better right now. Do you feel better right now?

Tess: How could you let this happen to me?

[begins reading from newspaper article]

Tess: "If Jane is the prototypical accommodating bridesmaid, then her sister Tess is cast as the overbearing, overindulged bride-to-be who at any moment might start stomping around Manhattan, breathing fire, and swatting planes from the sky."

Jane: I had no idea he was writing an article about me.

Tess: You? He called me Bridezilla! In the New York freaking Journal! I could tear him apart limb from limb!

Jane: Oh, my God. I feel like I found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.

Jane: [to Tess] Did you love him, or was he just convenient?