|Page 1 of 3:||  |
|Index||28 reviews in total|
One-Eyed Monster, the story of a blood-thirsty penis on the rampage. If
you're reading this blurb of a review, you've most likely seen other
flicks that are like One-Eyed Monster. You may have seen Teeth, Bad
Biology or maybe even Killer Pussy, so you're probably pretty psyched
to check out another flick with deranged genitals. And if you really
enjoyed any of the above films, you should definitely give this film a
look. If you didn't like them, there's no reason for you to watch this
one. It's just more of the same goofy genital humor.
A blazing meteorite/beam of energy type thing crashed into Ron Jeremy as he was star-gazing at the night sky. Not long after, the new found home of the alien entity is now on the loose (it detached itself) and on the rampage. Throw in some forgettable characters and situations, and you got One-Eye Monster. It's basically just a slasher film with a killer penis on the loose.
There's not much to be really impressed with in this flick. The humor is okay, with maybe a few smiles or giggles throughout. Though, I do have to admit the jokes, although pretty weak, are delivered with charm and it's obvious all actors involved are pretty into the film. Well besides Mr. Napier. His character was either hit or miss. His long story, telling his bizarre memory of Vietnam was a total snooze. The black dude was like a bad soap opera star, and brought a forgettable serious role to the film. Actually whenever the movie tried to go serious, it fell flat. Almost everyone else played an OTT role and for the main part did an alright job.
A big gripe was the lack of nudity in this one. There was one scene of boobs, and I think that was it. If they had a scene where they showed a full naked Ron Jeremy, the house would have come down. Shame. They kept the nudity to one chick and the fake alien weiner. Also, the gore is very minimal. Remember in the trailer where the guy gets split in half? That, and a couple sprays of blood is all I can remember. That was disappointing as well.
I had high hopes for this new entry into the subgenre of genital horror, but I was let down once again. The jokes and silly acting was abundant so you may laugh a bit, but it's just an average to below-average comedy. And as a horror, as it is a hor/com, it doesn't do well there either. The gore was weak, the nudity disappointing and the situations bland and cliché.
If you're easily pleased, and all you need is the idea of a killer penis to make you happy, you should be golden. But if you have experience with these types of movies, this is just more of the same. Just so you know where I stand with the above flicks that I mentioned, I enjoyed Killer Pussy (great nudity) and Teeth (bizarre dark humor) about equal, with this next and Bad Biology (tried way too hard to be funny) last.
Let's face it. Right now, the world is not a fun place. Thankfully, the
people behind One Eyed Monster have provided a magnum (condom) opus of
On a remote porn shoot, a killing spree begins at the "hands" of the titular character. The comedy often comes from juxtaposition of standard horror responses and scenarios with a very non-standard monster. Don't want to spoil it for anyone who can't figure it out.
Performances are solid throughout the cast, but I'd have to say that the standout is Jason Graham in the role of Jonah. Graham has charisma and I wouldn't be surprised to see him in major Hollywood releases in the near future. Of course, Amber Benson gives a solid turn as the makeup girl with a crush on Ron Jeremy. And Ron Jeremy? His purposefully wooden acting during the porn shoot perfectly balances the bit of heart he has when commiserating with fellow veteran Veronica Hart.
If you are looking for a think piece about the travesties of the justice system or the inequities of societal living, this is not your movie (you pompous pompous person).
If you want some good laughs, look to One Eyed Monster to give them to you.
As B-Horror movies go, "One Eyed Monster" is a unique hit. You have to love Ron Jeremy...the porn star who refuses to take himself too seriously. The premise is almost unheard of. You have to watch "Pervert!" to find another movie where a detached penis is the serial killer. Of course, THIS movie is MUCH better because the actors do a much better job. "One Eyed Monster" is absolutely hilarious. It's simple, stupid and completely enjoyable. And, oddly enough, when you consider the subject material, there is a veritable lack of nudity throughout the movie. Just that fact alone is amazing when you consider porn actresses Veronica Hart and Carmen Hart are also in the movie. There are a lot of lines which you will be repeating because they are just so silly. You gotta watch this!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
One-Eyed Monster starts as a bus-load of hardcore porn stars arrive at
an isolated log cabin on a mountain, along with the crew T.J. (Caleb
Mayo) & Jonah (Jason Graham) they are there to shoot a hardcore porn
film. The star is ageing porn actor Ron Jeremy (Ron Jeremy) who has
trouble getting his nine inch member up these days, while outside a
strange burst of light from the night sky engulfs him. Back on set & in
action with his ageing co-star Veronica Hart (Veronica Hart) his penis
attacks her & then rips itself off Ron's groin & goes on a mad killing
spree as it tries to mate with all the nice young female pron stars on
set. The trapped cast & crew assume that Ron's penis has been possessed
by an alien life-force & is trying to spread it's seed throughout
humanity by taking control of Ron Jeremy's penis & having sex with as
many women as it can. The only question is, can they stop it?
Co-written, produced & directed by Adam Fields this comedy horror is like a ten year old dream come true, a few naked breasts's, a bit of blood & a one note joke about an alien possessed killer penis that I am sure will appeal to those with a rock bottom sense of humour but for anyone looking for a funny & witty horror comedy expect disappointment. At less than 80 minutes long One-Eyed Monster actually drags in places, the character's have a few amusing one-liners every now & again but generally they are stupid clichés who irritate. The killer penis gets like a minute of screen time. All the kills are off screen. There are about two scenes with any actual nudity. For a supposed gross out horror comedy about an alien possessed killer penis running amok during a hardcore porn film shoot One-Eyed Monster is unbelievably tame & none eventful. To give it some credit the sexual innuendos, one-liners & double entendres can be quite amusing at times but does get a little boring by the end & there's only so far penis jokes can carry a film. I won't even bother picking holes in the script as it's clearly not a film to be taken seriously even though at times one did get the impression that the makers were treating it all very seriously, too seriously in fact.
AS I already mentioned despite it's premise & situations One-Eyed Monster is amazingly tame, I think only one actress bares her breast's while no-one is killed on screen at all. There's a brief shot a woman with a hole in her head & someone gets sliced in two but otherwise that's it. The production values are reasonable, it looks better than one might have expected I suppose. There are a few homages here that are easy enough to spot including obvious ones from Jaws (1975), Aliens (1986) & Tremors (1990). The effects are alright but on the few occasion when you do actually see the alien possessed killer penis it looks like a fresh big long brown turd.
The acting isn't too bad, ageing porn stars Ron Jeremy & Veronica Hart appear while porn starlet Carmen Hart also appears & is terrible. God knows what an old pro like Charles Napier is doing in this.
One-Eyed Monster is a film that has a magnificent & simply outrageous premise that in the right hands hands could have been the gross out horror comedy of the decade, as it is it's a boring tame mess with only a few one-liners & sexual innuendo to recommend it. One-Eyed Monster is the type of film that people want to like (like Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009)) for it's sheer outlandishness but when it comes down to it the film itself is just poor.
You can't say that One Eyed Monster is the best movie ever made, then
again you can't really say it's the worst movie ever made. This is just
simply a horror spoof comedy, in which Ron Jeremy's now possessed penis
goes around on an evil killing spree. The concept may seem very off the
wall and stupid, but I have to admit that some of the scenes ended up
being just hysterical. Now on the other hand the story wasn't the
greatest, but with a legendary pornstar's penis running around just
offing people, who really cares about the story, you would generally be
more interested in seeing what the penis is going to do. All in all
this is worth a watch once or if you really liked it, then twice. So
honestly check it out for a good couple of laughs.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
There were two scenes in the film that were funny. The first came when
the *&#%^ just killed some chick by flying into her mouth. A group of
the girls(remember, they're all porn stars) found her in that state ran
to another cabin to tell everyone that they found a ($%#% in her mouth,
and there was NO reaction. Definitely funny.
The problem with this film is that there were a million jokes they could have used like the one above, but the film just isn't very funny at all. It was really difficult to get through.
I was prepared for the low-budget production values, and I don't shy away from movies or dislike them for that characteristic alone, but this film just didn't capitalize on it's brilliant premise. While watching the film I was thinking of all the of ways it could have been better...
unfortunately, this film is not funny enough to score any higher than this. 2, maybe 3 funny moments just doesn't fill 90 minutes. Bring in the Evil Dead bunch, re-cast Ron in his role here, maybe even add Adam Green as a director, and boost the comedy and horror aspects of this movie while still keeping it silly, and you'd have a real winner. Not funny enough to gain the cult status that the storyline led me to believe I might find.
Great idea... heck, fantastic idea... poor script considering the endless possibilities. I'm no filmmaker or comedian, but even I could have made this infinitely funnier.
You want a better film with a similar premise - try "Teeth" or "Chillerama(wadzilla segment)".
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Seemingly inspired by the Frank Zappa song "Bwana Dik," with its memorable line "My dick is a monster," 2008's "One Eyed Monster" (the lack of a hyphen is annoying) tells a story that must be a first in the history of cinema. In the film, 10 people go to the wintry mountains of northern California to make an adult film, with porn legends Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart serving as consultants. Problems arise when an alien force possesses Ron and painlessly makes off with his tubesteak, leaving the human tripod emasculated and quite dead. And then matters get even worse, as the alien-possessed wiener starts to attack and slay every one of the cast and crew! Anyway, as you may have gathered, this is probably not the best movie to sit down to watch with Aunt Petunia. Truth to tell, though, the picture looks a lot better than you may expect, its only cheapjack effect being Ron's dismembered member itself. If you were anticipating Ray Harryhausen-like FX as regards this murderous appendage, forget it; what little we see of the darn thing looks like a wriggling dildo, at best. Still, many of the picture's lines are pretty funny, the acting is surprisingly good, and there is even a sweet scene in which Ron and Veronica reflect on getting older and not so spry that is actually kinda touching. Russ Meyer stalwart Charles Napier almost steals this film, especially in the scene in which he tells of his experiences in Nam (practically channeling Robert Shaw in "Jaws"); that is, until Veronica walks away with the picture by demonstrating her superpower in the finale, her Kegel abilities doing for vaginal canals what Xenia Onatopp did for thighs! All in all, painless, goofy fun; like "Night of the Living Dead," but with a killer schlong instead of zombies. Oh...this Liberation DVD looks just fine, and comes loaded with more extras than you could shake a (9 3/4") stick at!
The crew shooting a pornography film head toward on old cabin in the
middle of nowhere, not knowing some manner of alien is planning to
invade the earth by using the genitalia of one of their members.
Premise seems interesting, but unfortunately the final product while entertaining, is still far away from what could have been. Naturally the movie doesn't take itself seriously but it never feels like its using its full potential. Pretty strange how those rare occasions where nudity and sexual situations are central to the theme, there's actually less than many films where such things feel completely gratuitous. The characters, thankfully have some effort put into them, without the movie getting depressing as victims are killed off.
For what its worth, this movie is far superior to "Penetration Angst" and "Teeth", although that's not saying much.
i have only seen this once before, the last time i saw, it was silly
Now seeing for second time, it feel a little tame the second times around, the jokes are still funny.
Which the over the top plot, i did notice there not much gore in this movie at all, i didn't not like the fact some of the deaths scenes were off screen.
did chuckle at one deaths scenes that was on screen and when that tailwager attacks the victims at first was funny, it got a bit boring as the movie went on.
I really enjoyed some references to other horror pass horror movies, which were fun to watch
The acting from whole cast was really good, as they made even more silly and fun to watch.
6 out of 10 for
A hostile alien wreaks havoc on the cast and crew of an adult movie.
I think the plot of this film more or less explains why it is such a great horror comedy. Ron Jeremy is taken over by an alien, his penis detaches itself... and then it starts killing people. I guess you could screw this up, but they did not.
The film revolves around jokes -- dozens and dozens of jokes. You might think after two or three penis jokes it would get stale, but it never really does. Combined with a fair amount of gore and just a hint of sex, it keeps your attention and your laughter throughout. (For a film about a bunch of born stars, the nudity is very tame -- only one person is even partially naked, and then only for a minute.)
Oh, and Charles Napier. Wow. A serious actor, with plenty of solid credits behind him... and he appears in a film where he not only fights a penis, but delivers one of the greatest monologue ever spoken about aliens in Vietnam. Priceless. This speech alone is worth the view.
|Page 1 of 3:||  |
|Plot summary||Plot synopsis||Ratings|
|External reviews||Parents Guide||Official site|
|Plot keywords||Main details||Your user reviews|
|Your vote history|