Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

It Never Rains in Hooterville (2007)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Quotes 

• Alan Harper : [Charlie is mocking Alan for wanting to go camping with Jake]  My life is just one big joke to you, isn't it?

  Charlie Harper : Actually, it's more of a limerick: 'There once was a moron named Al / Who wanted to camp with his pal'. Any chance you can go camping in Nantucket?

• Alan Harper : [Alan is worried that Jake might be losing interest in him as a father]  I can't help but feel a little empty inside, like, like a chapter of my life is over.

  Charlie Harper : So, you've still got plenty to look forward to.

  Alan Harper : Y'mean besides work, loneliness and death?

  Charlie Harper : Absolutely. There's memory loss, impotence, adult diapers...

  Charlie Harper : [Charlie grins as Alan glares at him]  I'm all you've got, pal.