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Machete More at IMDbPro »

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3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Rodriguez never ceases to amaze

Author: Leon Zap from United States
3 December 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Hard to give a perfect 10 to any movie so I give it a nine. I really did Rodriguez's multiple talent and doing a lot of post production work in his own place even playing music. Maybe not in this movie totally. You are really sure that he has control and reach on the final outcome.

Machete is what it is a B-movie but it does have some political undertones which is not bad. We enjoy the hedonistic pleasure of our society because of the illegal immigrant, the Mexican illegal immigrant in particular, who by the way is equally exploited in his/her won country as well. I am glad that they are given a voice even in this medium.

Lindsay Lohan. I am really rooting for this girls in spite of the troubles, she's had. She' one of the better actors that Disney has manufactured and it is hard once Uncle Disney let's you go. I also think that they used a body double whenever there is a Lohan breast scene. The one where you see her face, it was covered by her hair. So sorry to disappoint if you are into Lindsay's front rack, because it's not there.

I really enjoy Tarantino and Rodriguez. If I have to do it all over again and someone asked what do you want to be when you grown up, I'll like to be Robert Rodriguez.

Danny Freyo is amazing. I have always liked him. And if you want to not fall in love. do not look into Jessica or Michelle. They are too much. Cheech, Don, Jeff. Robert DiNiro, Steven all equally good and they seem to be having a good time.

Yes you can find faults, but you watch this for what it is, not to do an Oscar nomination.

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3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Machete, shows that not all movies need to be taken so seriously!

Author: gottahustle from United States
22 October 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

From the start of this movie things are over the top, which is what you would expect from the fictional trailer from Grindhouse films. The movie plays out exactly as if the trailer was a full movie, which it basically is now. From the first few minutes when the naked female character pulls a cellphone from her private area i knew i was in for a ride. Danny Trejo is at his best here, showing if the role is tailored to him he can carry an action movie as a lead role. Also you have to remember Danny Trejo is 66 years old, which makes it amazing in itself that he can do these kinds of films. The adding of other big names like Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey just helped even more. In the end you get a great entertaining film, that if viewed in the right mindset, should not disappoint. I myself was completely satisfied with the film. Loved the fact Lindsay Lohan had to play a role close to her true life she is living, must be getting hard to get roles if you have to basically exploit yourself just to join some real names on screen. Overall, loved the movie, hope to see more like it in the future.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Machete Scrapes The Absolute Bottom Of The Barrel!

Author: Dalbert Pringle from New Zealand
15 October 2012

If nothing else, Steven Segal's hilarious-looking hairpiece absolutely killed me. In my opinion, it was the comedy highlight that this dreadfully dreary picture so desperately needed.

You know, it sure seems to me that for director Roberto Rodriguez, women come in only one generic flavor. And that is the flavor of a "boy-toy" slut.

Whether she's a highly-successful immigration office, or a street-level Taco-Momma/Secret Agent, or whatever, Rodriguez clearly brands all of his women (as he did so in Sin City and Planet Terror) as boy-toy sluts, through and through.

And, of course, all of Rodriguez' boy-toy sluts are knock-out beauties. (Natch) But, regardless of that, just keep in mind that beauty may be only skin deep, but being a boy-toy slut goes right to the bone.

Besides having a mighty low opinion of women, it would also seem that Rodriguez doesn't look too favorably upon the USA, either.

Here in Machete, Rodriguez clearly points an accusing finger at America by turning this insignificant film into a heavy-handed political statement where he puts full blame on the US for clearly being the #1 reason why Mexico's present state of vicious crime, corruption and grave destitution is literally way out of control.

And, last, but not least, casting that greasy, old fart, Danny Trejo (Rodriguez' cousin) as the title character was a stroke of pure stupidity. It really killed me the way this doddery, old fool was presented as being some sort of a bad-ass/stud-muffin where all of the hot babes were just dying to get him into bed. (Ha! Ha! Ha!)

All-in-all, Machete, with its horrid racism, cruelty, and sadistic violence, was a poorly-executed production.

In my opinion, Rodriguez' Machete was so infantile in nature that it could only satisfy the mind-set of a pre-pubescent, 10 year-old boy. In other words, from an adult's point of view, this film sucked, big time.

Enough said.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Another great flick from Robert Rodriguez

Author: pweck from United States
10 February 2011

When I started to watch this movie, I thought I was going to be disappointed. Then I remembered that the style of the Grindhouse series and quickly knew I was going to be in for a treat.

The combination of action, violence and humor make this movie a great choice. The humor is almost slapstick in nature and fits quite well into the movie.

The choices for actors was also great. Getting to see the return of some past stars, like Don Johnson in a role as a bad guy, made the movie even more interesting.

If you can stomach the violence (an insider joke) you will surely enjoy the movie from start to finish.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

If you told me 7 years ago that Lindsay Lohan would do what she did in this movie, I'd call you a liar!!!

Author: mindbender2302 from Canada
6 February 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Where can you find a girl pulling out a smartphone hidden in her lady-place, the lovely Jessica Alba and the (uhh...) Lindsay Lohan naked AND the lovely Michelle Rodriguez selling Tacos? Except for the weird dream I had last night, the answer would be "Machete." I only watched this movie because of the cult-like fan base that has begun to sprout around it. If you know that Danny Trejo is going to be in a movie, with a few exceptions like 'Spy Kids,' you know that it's only going to be action, and that's what this movie is...

Machete (Trejo) is an ex-Federale who's life was turned upside down by a drug kin-pin (Seagal). (You've probably heard that Segal is a tall man. But, in this movie, his height is actually put into perspective, and let me tell ya... He is one tall S.O.B.) So, he escapes to good ol' Uncle Sam's backyard and lives the life of an illegal immigrant. But, he now has to deal with a governor who is basically like a Mini-Me Dubya and a bunch of redneck Xenophobic Texans, whose ultimate goal is to build a fence (at least on the surface) to stop the illegal boarder crossings...

Obviously, Machete gets in the middle and queue the BANG-BANGs, the SLICE-SLICEs, the PFFFT-PFFFTs (of blood spurting out, that is), and the 70's funk porn music....! That's right! In this world, Trejo is a ladies' man!! Danny Trejo get's kissed by Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan's mother (not the real one, but a character), and Lindsay Lohan.

Man, I'd love to have been at Alba's contract negotiation room and Lohan's negotiation room. The producers must have been like "Alba, we'll pay you a million bucks extra if you kiss Trejo" and "Lohan, if you want to be in this movie, kiss Trejo"....ROFLMAO.....

Either way, this movie is no way an Oscar winning collection of scenes. But, it's just an action movie with some humor in it. It's kind of like Kill Bill. But instead of Thurman you have Trejo, and instead of deep dialogues you have Jessica Alba naked in the shower and Lindsay Lohan naked in the pool...

So, for action, this movie gets a 4/10. The other 3.999999/10 comes from Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez, and the rest, from Lohan...

Recommendation? Good movie for a guy's night out.... and wait a couple of weeks for it's DVD to appear in the less than $10 box in your local superstore...

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Weapon of choice

Author: kosmasp
15 January 2011

2010 could also have been a year in the 80s. Expandables and other movies tried and succeeded in copying the formula that was successful back then. Not everyone might like that, but the movies were successful. How would have thought that? And who would have thought that De Niro and Lindsay Lohan would be in the same movie?

The cast is phenomenal though (M. Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, the latter has an infamous scene, I'm sure you'll read quite a bit about it here, but Lohan plus 1 steal the show, "dressing"-wise) and while there is not much story here, it is told in a very nice fashion. There is a commercial (animated), that retells the "Machete" story in a funny way. And Danny Trejo tells the story (though you should watch the movie, because there are spoilers in it, of course).

You have to love Danny Trejo (who clearly enjoys being the center of attention, either in the movie or at conventions and deservedly so), if you don't you might not enjoy the movie as much as other people do.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

This is a great guilty pleasure

Author: dbborroughs from Glen Cove, New York
24 October 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Near perfect recreation of a grind house flick from Robert Rodriguez.

Its over the top violence and silliness as Machete cuts his way across Texas getting revenge for the death of his wife and daughter and for being set up in a plot to kill a Senator.

Its a great cast having fun going over the top. Even Robert DeNiro is having fun since he allowed Rodriguez to spoof Taxi Driver.

An absolute blast.

One of the guilty pleasures of the year Be warned its very sexy and very bloody and if you don't like lots of blood stay away, far away.

10 out of 10

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Strap your seat belt on and get ready !!!

Author: ( from
24 September 2010

Movie of the Day: " Machete" starring Danny Trejo,Robert Deniro,Jessica Alba,Steven Segal, Michelle Rodriguez.

Length: 1:.37:02

Date of Review: 09-25-2010

Rating : 7.00

Review: I was honestly going to turn it off after the first 2 minutes, but something told me to hold on, and I was pleasantly surprised by where it took me.

It is based on a B movie satire and exploitation of the 70 & 80's B films but maybe this is why I should read reviews before I watch movies in the future. Funny enough, just yesterday, I was commenting on how I will say 99% of the movies I have watched, I never usually read the reviews before I watch, so I can really get a feel for the movie as it comes to me off the screen and let my emotions of that moment really "feel the moment" I am in.

In this case I was caught completely off guard because I had no clue of whether it was a satire, horror (first few moments), an actual B movie, a comedy of sorts (like Airplane), or a Hollywood jump on the Mexican Border issues, as it had a number of controversial sequences and I thought I had joined the Glen Beck's campaign of lets become "famous" by attacking the Mexican / American issues. So my observation today to everyone is enjoy these reviews but understand what the movie's central theme is so in order to prepare for the "events coming to a theatre near you".

But with Machete, I really was caught off guard. See I live in Mexico for over 20 years and I have a Mexican family although I am Canadian, and honestly the first 30 minutes of the movie I was really appalled not only at the comments but it seemed like such a bashing and exploitation of the Mexicans and stereotypical behaviour that I almost turned it off but again something told me to keep watching ( and of course it wasn't all the bloodshed or nudity but I will say I always like Danny Trejo's (Arnold Schwarzenegger man of few words attitude) so I kept watching).

Then something surprising happened it started to make sense ( I started capturing the real essence and satirical nature of the film and like so many of the watchable B movies of the 70's and 80's they somehow grip onto you and you now just can't put it down. The humour and spoofs and political and racial remarks made started to take on a new film and meaning to the film for me.

The movie is about a machete wielding ex-Federale (who's favourite weapon of choice = Machete) who's wife and child are murdered in the first scene by a drug king Boss (played by Steven Seagal) and then escapes to America through the Network (lead by Michelle Rodriguez who I will say was looking especially buffed up) which helps illegal Mexicans establish themselves in America. 3 years after the murder of his family Machete (played by Danny Trujo) is approached and can't refuse an offer to kill the US Senator (played by De Niro) who has jumped on the Border issues of America and very racist and inhumane killing any Mexicans that get in his way. Even starting with a DVD executing an illegal which they refer to as cockroaches and terrorists invading America.

But the story behind it all is that Booth (played by Jeff Fahey) who plays the assistant to the Senator hired Machete to injure the Senator so the public would have sympathy of the Mexican attack of terrorists and vote him in, but Machete and the Network and a Immigration agent who goes rogue (Jessica Alba) who helps to put it public and the jump to the dynamic finish which by this point its feeling like Wow what a comeback compared to how I felt in the first 10-15 minutes of the movie (of course without reading any reviews I was blindsided but refreshingly surprised at how it turned me around by the end).

Some things to watch for is quite a list of A actors who really did a great job with such tough content and Hollywood shakers (like Cheech Marin's box of Mexican cigars or Lindsay Lohan's completely Nude scene and her new found relationship with God) and the Director Rodriguez pulled it off and I think a reference to Quentin Terrentino's style was remarkably noticeable in this film.

Overall, I liked it and felt a sense of comedy relief by the end although it honestly had my blood boiling at the start, but that's the mark of a good film, turn our emotions all around and leave us at the end appreciating what he was trying to really say to us….so we will be ready to listen. Well done in that respect!!

For a Movie Review:Everyday 365 Every Day of the year...go to cancuntimes .blogspot .com/

from "The Movie Buff" saying it in his No BS way... the Pen Fears No One.... John "Super Snake" Cobra.

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5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

This Movie Needs a Sequel... or Two!

Author: shoez44 from Vancouver, Canada
20 January 2012

Every time I look at a rating or review on IMDb, I'm always surprised at how low awesome movies are sometimes rated and how high "BS" movies achieve.

Machete is one of those movies that should easily be in the high 8's! It is a pulpy, grimy action flick that doesn't take itself too serious.

I have always wanted Danny Trejo to get his own movie and I couldn't have hoped for a better title role. Ex-special Mexican Forces Agent gone rogue... how could you not like this film? With a fine balance of violence and vixens, Machete slices his way through several layers of corruption to get revenge on those who have framed him for an attempted murder he didn't commit.

There are several ultra-stereo type characters... which are great... and some surprise "big-name" actors playing over-the-top rolls. I mean, Steven Seigal playing a Mexican Cartel Lord... at least I think that's the accent he's trying to do... how awesome is that?! There are two sequels that could follow Machete; Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again. Assuming that the production of these films depend on how well it did in the theatres and the sales of Blurays afterwards...

I hope that they made enough money, because these movies must be made!

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5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

stupidity at its greatest

Author: treyplemons from United States
10 July 2011

this film is purely stupid....the fact that it has a 7.1 rating and Battle:LA and Sucker Punch only have 6.3's is just pitiful. i hated this movie from start to freaking finish, and the only reason I'm typing so much is because they make me type a minimal amount.

let me say, if your looking for pointless violence, a stupid storyline, and big "TaTa's" then this is the movie for you.

other than that....its stupid. the only good parts of this movie are the nude (i keep saying that because they wont let me say exactly what i want to say) scenes and anything with Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez (or whatever her name is)

don't waste your money if you really wanna see it....just go torrent it or something

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