The Adventures of Tintin (2011)
Captain Haddock: I thought you were an optimist.
Tintin: You were wrong, weren't you? I'm a realist.
Captain Haddock: Ah, it's just another name for a quitter.
Tintin: You can call me what you like. Don't you get it? We failed.
Captain Haddock: Failed. There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. A hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you.
Captain Haddock: My memory isn't the way it used to be.
Tintin: How was it?
Captain Haddock: I've forgotten.
Tintin: We've got bad news. We've only got one bullet.
Captain Haddock: What's the good news?
Tintin: We've got ONE bullet.
Captain Haddock: What is this peculiar beverage? It had no bouquet, it's completely transparent.
Tintin: It's water.
Captain Haddock: So you thought you'd sneak in an' catch me with me trousers down, eh?
Tintin: I'd rather you keep your trousers on if it's all the same to you!
Nestor: Good evening, sir. I trust you had a pleasant voyage.
Ivanovich Sakharine: Do I pay you to talk?
Nestor: You don't pay me at all.
Tintin: What have you done?
Captain Haddock: I lit a wee fire...
Tintin: *In a boat?*
Tintin: Well, this is a fine mess.
[in a plane]
Captain Haddock: You do know what you're doing, right?
Tintin: Relax. I interviewed a pilot once!
Thomson: [looks at the newspaper] Great Scotland Yard! That's extraordinary!
Tintin: What is?
Thomson: Worthington's having a half-price sale on bowler hats!
Inspector Thompson: [snatches the newspaper] Really, Thomson! This is hardly the time...
[looks at the newspaper]
Inspector Thompson: Great Scotland Yard!
Inspector Thompson: Canes are half-price too!
Captain Haddock: Nobody takes my ship!
Tintin: They've already taken it.
Captain Haddock: But nobody takes my ship twice!
Silk: I'm not a bad person. I'm a kleptomaniac.
Thomson: A what?
Inspector Thompson: It's fear of open spaces.
Thomson: Poor man. No wonder he keeps his wallets in the living room.
[a shipwrecked Haddock spots a plane]
Captain Haddock: We're saved! A savior from above!
[the plane opens fire]
Ivanovich Sakharine: You may kill the boy, but NOT Haddock!
Allan: Oh, come on, sir, he's a rum soak! We should have killed him long ago...
Ivanovich Sakharine: [draws his blade] Do you think it was an accident I took Haddock's ship, Haddock's crew, Haddock's treacherous first mate? Nothing I do is an accident!
Tintin: Are you going to take charge of this evidence?
Inspector Thompson: Never fear, Tintin! The evidence is safe with us!
[falls down stairs]
Thomson: Thompson? Where are you?
Inspector Thompson: Well, I'm already downstairs! You'd better keep up!
Tintin: Captain, can you get us to Bagghar?
Captain Haddock: What sort of a stupid question is that?
Captain Haddock: Give me those oars! I'll show you some real seamanship, laddie! I'll not be doubted by some pipsqueak tuft of ginger and his irritating dog. I am master and commander of the seas!
Tintin: To think, all it took was one day in the Sahara! Congratulations, Captain, you're sober!
Captain Haddock: Blistering treasure! It's Red Rackham's barnacles!
Allan: Mr Tintin?
Tintin: Yes, that's me.
Allan: There's a crate here for you, sir.
Tintin: But I didn't order anything.
Allan: [knocks out Tintin] That's 'cause *you're* in it!
[stuffs him into the crate]
Captain Haddock: [Haddock is chasing Sakharine's Bird] 10,000 Thundering Typhoons! Come here you pilfering parakeet!
Tintin: There's a clue to another treasure. How's your thirst for adventure, Captain?
Captain Haddock: Unquenchable, Tintin.
[Snowy winks at us]
Ivanovich Sakharine: The legend says only a Haddock is able to find the treasure... but it took a Rackham to get the job done!
Captain Haddock: [seeing Snowy for the first time] A giant rat of Sumatra!
[Thomson and Thompson plan a trap for the wallet thief]
Inspector Thompson: It's childishly simple!
Thomson: To be precise: it's simply childish!
Tintin: We can't go back, not now!... Not now.
Ivanovich Sakharine: Find them, find them BOTH!
Captain Haddock: Sir Francis Haddock was the greatest captain of the seven seas! Why do you think I drink? It's because I know I'll never be like him!
[Haddock hurls bottles at Sakharine]
Ivanovich Sakharine: Go ahead, have a drink. It's all you've got left!
Bianca Castafiore: I am most grateful to Professor Sweetie Pie, for bringing me here to Bagghar!
Captain Haddock: Red Rackham!
Ivanovich Sakharine: That's right! An ancestor of mine, just as Sir Francis was yours!
Captain Haddock: Unfinished business...
Ivanovich Sakharine: Oh, it's good you remember, Haddock - killing you drunk wouldn't have been as much fun!
Tintin: Bad news, Captain. We've only got one bullet.
Captain Haddock: What's the good news?
Tintin: We've got one bullet.
Tintin: [inspecting the model Unicorn] What secrets do you hold...?
[a roll of parchment slips out]
Tintin: If Sakharine gets to that ship before us, it's over!
Captain Haddock: It was Allan, he nobbled me... and there was a bottle...
Tintin: There always is!
Captain Haddock: No, it's not like that...
Tintin: I can smell it on you!
Tintin: If you'll excuse me, I need to find a way off this drunken tub.
[Tintin leaves Captain Haddock's cellar with a bang of the door]
Captain Haddock: [taken aback] Tu-*TUB?*
[Closeup on Tintin, who is slowly waking up]
Captain Haddock: [echoing] Tintin? Tintin? Warm yourself, lad...
[Tintin wakes up to find that Captain Haddock has lit a fire out of the wooden oars, in the boat and is trying to warm himself]
Tintin: [horrified] Captain! What did you do?
Captain Haddock: [laze faire] Ah, you were looking cold, so I lit a wee fire.
Tintin: *IN A BOAT*? Those are our oars, we need them to reach to Baggdar!
Captain Haddock: [snapping an oar in two and throwing it into the fire] We don't need to.
Tintin: [frantically splashing salt water at the fire, trying to douse it out] Help me put it out
Captain Haddock: [realizing] He's right! What have I done? What have I done?
[grabs the whiskey bottle he was preparing to drink, opens it and pours it on the fire]
Tintin: No! No, No, N...
Captain Haddock: [from the distance; moaning] Thundering Typhoons!
[Tintin has escaped; has stumbled into a room on the second deck of the ship and is meeting Captian Haddock for the first time]
Captain Haddock: [brandashing a bent pipe; thinking Tintin is an intruder] So... you were trying' to catch me wi' my trousers down, huh?
Tintin: [dodging Haddock's blows] I would keep your trousers up, same to you.
Captain Haddock: [about Shakarine] He was planning all of this, trying to bump me off!
Tintin: What are you talking about?
Captain Haddock: I knew he was going send someone to do th' job! Me murdered in bed by a baby-faced assassin!
[Snowy grabs a hold of Haddock's pants with his teeth]
Captain Haddock: [trying to shake Snowy off] Arrgh!
Tintin: No, No! You've got it all wrong! I'm not an assassin.
[Captain Haddock stops fighting]
Tintin: I was captured by a gang of thugs!
[There is a pause; Haddock begins to cry comically]
Captain Haddock: [tearfully] Oh, the filthy swine! He's turned the whole crew against me!
Tintin: Snowy, look at this...
[points to a model ship]
Captain Haddock: I SWEAR to find that treasure before 'im!