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"The Black Donnellys" God Is a Comedian (TV Episode 2007) Poster

Quotes

[first lines]

Joey Ice Cream: [narrating] You think you had a tough day? Try being a Donnelly. You remember them right? Sean, Kevin, Jimmy and Tommy. With them everyday was trouble.

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Joey Ice Cream: [narrating] But it's like that old saying goes. The only way for two people to keep a secret is if both of them are dead.

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Jimmy Donnelly: [to Tommy] Do you think I don't know you got Frankie to put me in here?

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Jimmy Donnelly: [to Tommy] My strong big brother won't bail me out!

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Derek 'Dokey' Farrell: Now, you tell your boss this happens once a day until I find out who killed my brother.

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Johnny Mac: [to Tommy] Tommy, look. I like you, I like Sean. I like my toes better. Come in tomorrow, talk to Dokey yourself.

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Harold McElroy: And you and your brother are both going to jail. You no good piece of sh...

[is hit by a bus]

Kevin Donnelly: Damn.

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Nicky Cottero: [to Tommy] See, here's the thing, Tommy. If I don't get my money, I kill you and I collect from your brother. He don't pay me, I kill him and move on to the next brother.

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Father Dufelt: Before I can even think about giving you absolution, you have to promise before God that you won't ever do anything like this again. Can you do that?

Joey Ice Cream: [narrating voice over] Tommy didn't need to promise. He already decided there was never gonna be a good enough reason to kill anybody ever again.

Detective McCarthy: [to Joey Ice Cream] Are you saying Tommy Donnelly never killed again? Because if I look stupid to you, I'd just like to know right up front.

Joey Ice Cream: That was the plan. Tommy's plan was to make things right with God and save what was left of his soul. The problem was he thought he could do that and still take care of his brothers. Which of course was the same plan that got him into all this trouble to begin with. Which meant he had to get Jimmy into rehab.

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Jimmy Donnelly: Plead guilty?

Tommy Donnelly: Frankie's tight with the DA. You're not gonna do a day in jail.

Jimmy Donnelly: It's really nice of you and Frankie to take care of me like this. Do I say thank you before I plead guilty or after?

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Tommy Donnelly: The only way we get out of this is if nobody talks. Understand me. More people who know, the more chance it has of getting out.

Jimmy Donnelly: I'm not people. I'm your brother.

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Kevin Donnelly: [on the phone] Slow down, Ma. You're talking fast, I can't hear you.

Tommy Donnelly: Kevin, what's wrong with her?

Kevin Donnelly: I don't know, Tommy.

Tommy Donnelly: Is there a problem with Sean?

Kevin Donnelly: I don't know, Tommy. I can't hear Ma because you're talking while she's talking!

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Joey Ice Cream: [narrating voice over] Kevin wasn't the only one with his own plan. Nicky Cottero, had one too. The boss sent for Nicky because he wanted to know what happened to Sal. Nicky, on the other hand, planned to say as little as possible on the subject.

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Joey Ice Cream: [narrating voice over] Alo considered himself something of a ladies' man. Of course, being head of the Family, Alo could consider himself Pope. He wasn't going to get much argument from anybody.

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Tommy Donnelly: Can we meet up later, maybe talk a little bit?

Jenny Reilly: I don't think so. I gotta get back to work.

Tommy Donnelly: Come on, Jenny.

Jenny Reilly: It's hard enough for me to say it the first time. I don't wanna have to do it again.

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Joey Ice Cream: [narrating voice over] Tommy called asking me to bring him a crowbar. I didn't know why he was asking, but when somebody calls and asks for a crowbar, I figure I should bring one.

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Jimmy Donnelly: [to Kevin] You're acting like you just killed a guy for me or something.

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Kevin Donnelly: Hey, Sean. Damn. You look like you got hit in the face with a bat.

Sean Donnelly: You don't look any better.

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Kevin Donnelly: What another beer?

Joanie: Up yours!

Kevin Donnelly: What are you mad at me for?

Joanie: 'Cause Kevin, you're all the same

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Kevin Donnelly: You know what they said against Jimmy?

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[last lines]

Nicky Cottero: [to Tommy] See you Friday, kid.

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Joey Ice Cream: [narrating] The irony of Tommy trying to keep Jimmy in jail was that growing up most of his time was spent trying to do just the opposite.

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[to Kevin, speaking of the unplugged freezer with the spoiled food in it]

Tommy Donnelly: What the hell is this? Huh? It's unplugged.

Kevin Donnelly: I think Jimmy's using the outlet for his drill. He's building a birdhouse.

Tommy Donnelly: A birdhouse? Beautiful.

[coming down the stairs to the basement]

Jimmy Donnelly: Where are all my damn guns?

Tommy Donnelly: Why do you need a gun, Jimmy? Did you catch a bird in your birdhouse?

Jimmy Donnelly: At least I can build something. All you can do is screw everything up!

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[leaving the jail with Tommy after visiting Jimmy]

Kevin Donnelly: Didn't you see what he looked like in there?

Tommy Donnelly: He's a junkie! We bail him out and five minutes later he's gonna be shooting up again!

Kevin Donnelly: You think he won't score dope in there?

Tommy Donnelly: Not if he doesn't have any money! You give him any money? Did you give any money?

Kevin Donnelly: It's real easy for you to stand out here and judge him.

Tommy Donnelly: You want him to die, Kevin? Hmm? We leave him where he is. Don't borry any money, don't go to a bail bondsman. Nothing. Nothing!

Kevin Donnelly: [looks defeated]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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