- Ed Bighead: [giving impassioned speech to his ladies bowling team] Alright, girls. If we win tonight's game, I get that... I mean *we* get that giant trophy. And I don't have to tell you ladies how much that trophy means to me. Remember, girls, it may be true that winning isn't everything. BUT LOSING IS NOTHING!
- Rocko: [Mr. Bighead has asked Rocko and his friends to go bowling] Bowling? We've never been bowling.
- Heffer Wolfe: I've heard they got greasy cuisine at bowling alleys.
- Filburt Turtle: And you get to wear those cool shoes.
- Heffer Wolfe, Filburt Turtle: We're in.
- Ed Bighead: Here, boys. I took the liberty of getting you these team shirts.
- [hands them to Rocko]
- Rocko: [reads the shirt] The Losers?
- Heffer Wolfe: Oh, cool. Just like a real team.
- [jumps up on a counter]
- Heffer Wolfe: Look, everybody! I'm a Loser!
- Virginia Wolfe: Come down from there, Heff. You'll put an eye out.
- Ed Bighead: [to himself, gleefully] Oh, this is going to be SWEET.
- Ed Bighead: [to Rocko and Filburt] Now, let's get you boys some shoes, hmm.
- Ed Bighead: [to Ferb] Ferb, some shoes for the opposing team.
- Ferb: Are they a real team?
- Ed Bighead: They got shirts, don't they!
- Rocko: [sees Heffer wearing these huge platform shoes] Heff, where did you get *those* shoes?
- Heffer Wolfe: Some customer left them here. They were the only size 19's that they had.
- Gene Simmons: [to Ferb] What do you mean you gave my shoes away?
- Ferb: [announcing] Attention, bowlers. The O-Town Bowl -O- Rama Amateur League Championship Game will now begin. It's Bighead's Gutter Gals versus The Losers, now on Lane 13.
- Filburt Turtle: [getting worried] Lane 13? That's terribly unlucky.
- Heffer Wolfe: Yeah, unlucky for the slobs we're bowlin' against.
- Virginia Wolfe: Heffer!
- Heffer Wolfe: Oops. Sorry, Mom.
- Ed Bighead: [Virginia only knocked down one bowling pin] What was THAT! YOU BOWL LIKE A WIMP!
- Virginia Wolfe: Well, Ed, I...
- Ed Bighead: No excuses!
- Heffer Wolfe: Hey, Mr. Bighead. That's my mother you're yelling at and I DON'T LIKE IT!
- Ed Bighead: Ah, who asked you, chubby?
- Virginia Wolfe: [grabs Mr. Bighead] Don't you insult my boy, you big galoot!
- Heffer Wolfe: You tell him, Mom!
- Virginia Wolfe: Thank you, Heffer.
- [to Mr. Bighead]
- Virginia Wolfe: I'm taking my ball and going home.
- [packs up her bowling ball and leaves]
- Virginia Wolfe: You won't have Virginia Wolfe to kick around anymore.
- Ed Bighead: [disguised as his wife, with a mop as his fake hair] Hi! It's me, Bev! I'm back and ready to bowl!
- Ferb: But I thought you were a redhead.
- Ed Bighead: SO I GOT MY HAIR DONE! Do you like it?
- Heffer Wolfe: I got a strike!
- Rocko: Yes, Heff, but unfortunately, it wasn't in our lane.
- Heffer Wolfe: Oh. Does that matter?
- Ferb: Next up, "Howling" Virginia Wolfe.
- Ed Bighead: Come on, Virginia! Put some "oomph" into it!
- [Virginia bowls and only one pin gets knocked over]
- Virginia Wolfe: Ohh, that's my best start this season!