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After somehow managing to sit through "Zombie Strippers" (thanks in no
small part to the abundance of untethered breasts and jiggly
backsides), I attempted to sit through "Ninja Cheerleaders" today, but
just couldn't make it. Yes, I was surprised too. I mean, it had all the
basic ingredients of a great film - the three lead girls were even
community college cheerleaders by day and strippers and ninjas by
night, but alas it was still totally unwatchable. Hmmm, perhaps if they
had also been lesbian I might have at least made it to the middle of
the movie, but I guess that sort of post-production armchair directing
is like wishing more things had blown up in "Lost in Translation" and
that there had been some hardcore sex in "Breakfast at Tiffany's". I
suppose no movie is ever perfect (as those last two examples clearly
Anyway, I hope my inability to sit through "NC" isn't a sign that I'm now exiting my "prepubescent fascination with anything female and jiggly regardless of how badly written, directed or acted" movie stage. It'd really be a shame since that stage has basically been my defining characteristic up till this point and I'm not sure I'd recognize myself without it. Maybe I should watch "Zombie Strippers" again just to check? ;)
Seriously this is one of the worst movies ever and yet it is entertaining in a way I can hardly describe. First: The Title. A movie titled "Ninja Cheerleaders" is just a "gotto see this movie" to me. Anyway - the story is incredibly stupid (cheerleader strippers fight to get back the strip club of their ninja master against Michael pare - and to top it, they have to win a strip contest to get money for college....ha ha ha ha). This is a great setting for a really funny but stupid film, but the camera work, the directing work, the music, the actors - everything is just so bad. It is so badly made, it is sometimes hard to watch. But the girls are cute, they are brutal, they beat up everything they can - and then their is Captain Sulu as the master and Michael Pare. I want to like this film - if it was better edited and directed, it be a classic trash one - like this, it is just a film for men, who wanna see babes beat up guys.
I thought I should comment on this film, since it's really not as cute
as it was probably meant to be. The film revolves around three girls
who are determined to get into Brown College. To pay their tuition they
strip at a local bar. The owner of the bar is a ninja master who lands
into some heavy trouble and of course the ninja cheerleaders get
The first thing that's off is just the title: Ninja Cheerleaders. It kind of sums it up. I got fooled by the ninja part. Almost everything in the film is tacky. Plot, writing, directing, lighting, fighting etc. A few of the older actors do deliver nicely, but they can't salvage this shipwreck of a film. The biggest disappointment is actually the poor quality of the fights, since I'm a huge fan of martial arts.
I'm thinking that the target audience for this film is young girls who need a strong role-model of a determined successful woman who doesn't need a man. Oh my god, did I really just write that? Another target group is probably teenage boys, who would be better off watching American pie, at least it has boobies in it.
P.S. I might ask the film makers what's up with the topless women between scene changes? Of very poor taste and utterly irrelevant...
I was drawn to the unsurpassable promise given by the title. I got what
I expected, but also more. Ninja Cheerleaders is the best bad movie I
ever saw, very funny if you don't take it serious and with some
surprisingly good elements here and there.
You are not likely to mistake it for a Kubrick movie, nor will you ponder whether Jet Li could have done better fights. I have however seen a lot of allegedly A-movies which are much worse than this.
So if you like the title, don't miss the movie!
And no, they are not naked. They are only very pretty, very sparsely dressed and move quite nicely.
This is the mother of all scams. The only intention for such title is
to entice hot-bloodied males (or lesbians), bored to death citizens of
the world, or free downloads in the Internet, where people couldn't
care less about what download, so long as there are still enough space
in the hard disk drive. But I digress.
Throw in 3 stunning females, teach them some nitty karate moves, give them sword. Put in a couple of dumb (and dumber) antagonist, and the Director has made himself a cocktail of disaster.
The acting was so unreal, it made kindergarten kids playing Shakespeare look like Oscar nominees.
The only consolation was that it enables to attract viewers without the need to fork out huge amount of money to advertise.
Verditct : Avoid if you value your brain cells .. and time .
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Yes, it is exactly the quality of film one would expect with that title. Neither even the (very brief) flesh factor nor the 'cheese' factor save this thing. It is a crime that this has not yet made the IMDb bottom 100. I am seriously sitting here trying to think of something positive to say... anything... nope, nothing. George Tekai must be seriously hurting for work. From a critical standpoint - the acting is bad. The direction is seemingly non-existent. I don't think I can really address the writing/script as I honestly think they just sort of made things up as they went along. I'll be honest here... I (like many people) watched this thing to see some cheap flesh--HERE'S THE SPOILER PART--The three main characters are never even seen topless. There are occasional pointless glimpses of a dancer between scenes, and a couple of women near the end at the announcement of the winners of the 'talent contest'. Seriously, watch 'Gigli' or 'Glitter' before resorting to this.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
NINJA CHEERLEADERS is just that, a film featuring a trio of
cheerleaders who have learned martial arts from their teacher, who
happens to own a strip joint they dance in! Nope, they never get
naked(..these three do look great in lingerie, but their title as
strippers isn't accurate), maybe because the actresses involved weren't
interested in showing their naked bodies. Why make them strippers then?
Why can they not just be ninja cheerleaders? I think it should be a
golden rule that if you are a character that strips, nakedness is a
necessity..if not, don't be written as a stripper. Not too hard, I
think. Anyway, the three actresses seem to be having a hell of a good
time in their roles as sexy students(..they obviously revel in their
sex appeal)who can kick the asses of all males who look at them as
merely chicks to eliminate.
Trishelle Cannatella, Ginny Weirick, and Maitland McConnell are the cheerleaders who must rescue their master, George Takei, who has been kidnapped by mobster Michael Paré. Paré wants the strip joint back from Takei, an establishment he lost to the IRS. That's pretty much it. The girls take out whoever is necessary to find their master. Paré sends out the goons to stop them. Director David Presley shoots the fight scenes in ways to avoid actually showing his girls in combat through clever editing or ninja costumes. But, Presley seems more concerned with his alluring three leads, shooting them in ways to express their desirable qualities for the viewing audience..for instance, you get a lot of slow motion as they walk. They are babes who look delectable in cheerleading uniforms, tight jeans or skirts, and in "stripper wear", so Presley highlights their qualities. The film often, from chapter to chapter, features "breaks", a ninja fighting technique, a nude female stripper's tits, moving to the next portion of the story. The film's dialogue is completely tongue-in-cheek and the premise is basic fluff for the males to salivate over. We get our honeys and violence, nothing more or less..the demographic this is geared towards is obvious. Larry Poindexter is a detective, nipping at the girls' heels and Natasha Chang is Paré's hired ninja assassin.
Are there better B-movies on the market? Yeah, I think so.
The title did NOT lead me to expect a Showgirls movie budget. Should George Takei, Larry Poindexter, and Michael Pare have held out for better roles? Maybe, maybe not. I didn't buy this movie based on their names, or the names of the girls ( frankly, I'd never heard the girls names ), but they ARE pretty.
This is a B-movie, with B-movie values, and pretty girls with topless scenes ( not enough, but then there rarely are ). It kinda sorta had a plot, with few twists you really couldn't see coming.
It is a fun movie. It's not Showgirls; it wasn't meant to be.
Now this one was pretty insulting, though, honestly, going into a movie called Ninja Cheerleaders you know what you're getting into. Still, the description on the On Demand channel was hard to resist: three college girls are cheerleaders and students by day, but by night they are either ninjas or strippers. Depends on the night. Both of those professions, however, have the same employer, the girls' karate instructor Hiroshi, played by none other than George Takei. Kind of creepy, as the implication is that Sulu has been training these girls in the martial arts since they were children, and then later employed them at his strip club (so they can raise the money to go from their community college to Brown). The action is laughably awful. Most of the acting is actually better than one would expect. The three leads, Trishelle Cannatella, Ginny Weirick and Maitland McConnell are never going to win an Oscar, but they're acting is far above porn star acting. And at least they're attractive. The biggest bummer here is that the three cuties never show their breasts. They get down to lingerie. So as not to tease the audience too much, director Presley throws in some fancy wipes to real strippers for no particular reason as the scenes transition. This is most definitely schlock, but it kind of reminded me of the good old days of late night HBO or USA Up-All-Nite.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Seriously, the title says it all, 3 girls not only have the time to be
cheerleaders, ninjas and intelligent women aiming for Ivy League
dreams, they're also go-go dancers!
These protagonists are taught by their sensei: Master Hiroshi (George Takei)who also happens to be the owner of the strip club the girls work at.
You'll be drawn in with it's breathtaking choreography, thoughtful social commentary and strong female protagonists who also enjoy being feminine and are more competent than their male counterparts.
Take a view and you wont be disappointed!
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