Piggy: [stepping on Fozzie's collection of whoopie cushions] Where are we?
Gonzo: Uh, this is the land of Whoopie.
Piggy: Oh brother, Alice in Whoopieland.
Skeeter: [Piggy, Gonzo and Animal come into the nursery screaming] What's going on?
Gonzo: Piggy lost her Alice book and the library's going to chop off her head!
Skeeter: Huh? Gosh, how overdue is it?
Kermit: Nanny says imaginations run wild around books, but this is ridiculous.
Piggy: What's this?
Gonzo: Labyrinth card.
Piggy: I can't believe he said that, can you?
Rowlf: There must be a million books in here.
Fozzie: Yeah, or 12 at least.
Gonzo: I want to check this book out again; Land of the Gnomes and Goblins, it's my favorite.
Skeeter: Eww, they look weird.
Gonzo: Yeah I know, that's what I like.
Piggy: Oh, I'll never find my book in time.
Gonzo: Goblins probably took it.
Piggy: Huh? *gasp* Gonzo?
Gonzo: Uh-uh, Gonzo, Head Troll around here, all the goblins know me.
Gonzo: So uh, what's this about your book?
Piggy: Well, I got it from the library last week, but now...
Gonzo: Ah! It could be, in there!
[points to the Labyrinth]
Piggy: What is that?
Gonzo: Public Labyrinth.
Piggy: Public what?
Gonzo: Labyrinth, kind of like a maze. Goblins take books there!
Piggy: They do?
Piggy: What happened to you guys?
Fozzie: Is this a riddle?
Rowlf: He loves riddles.
Fozzie: Yeah, wanna do a knock-knock?
Piggy: Uh-uh, could you guys tell me which way to go?
Rowlf: No way.
Fozzie: We don't know anything.
Rowlf: We could tell you a lot of jokes though.
Fozzie: Why did the...
Piggy: Knock it off!
[Fozzie and Rowlf shrink back]
Piggy: Now, what door leads to my book?
Fozzie: We give up.
Rowlf: Which one?
Fozzie: I don't think she knows.
Rowlf: It's not fair to ask riddles if you don't know the answers.
Piggy: It wasn't a riddle, it was just a question!
Piggy: You're a mouse.
Kermit: Uh-huh, so are you. Want some cheese?
Piggy: So am I what?
Kermit: A mouse, here, take a look.
Piggy: [screams] I'm a mouse!
Kermit: That's what I said.
Piggy: Well what happened? I don't want to be a mouse.
Kermit: Well um, I think you sort of fell into my imagination, sorry.
Piggy: Can you believe this?
Kermit: Are you sure you don't want some cheese?
Piggy: Scooter, Skeeter, is that you?
Skeeter: Uh huh, we're cater... pillars.
Scooter: Hey, we're mice! What happened?
Piggy: Don't ask.
Kermit: I guess imaginations go kind of crazy around all these books.
Gonzo: An Orangutroll!
[sees the others tickling Animal]
Gonzo: They're tickling him! Tickling, a fate worse than chickenpox!
Skeeter: Have you hugged your book today, Piggy?
Piggy: Boy, for a librarian, she sure gets around.
Piggy: [Nanny's asleep watching a cooking show] Nanny, what would the library do if someone actually lost their book?
TV chef: Well first we chop off their little heads!
TV chef: Then we plump them into boiling water until the skin comes off and they get all soft and mussy.
Gonzo: Boy, these library people are serious!
Piggy: Come on, let's get out of here!
[run out of the room]
TV chef: And in 20 minutes, you have a delicious bellaruff modernuff turnip souffle. Bon appetite!