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Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007) Poster

Quotes

[upon coming home to his house being a mess]

David Seville: Oh my god, Theodore, did you just-?

Theodore: [nervously] Umm, Umm.

Simon: [picks up a small pellet shaped this in front of Theodore] It's a raisin, Dave.

David Seville: Prove it.

Simon: [puts it in his mouth] Mmm-Mmm.

David Seville: Okay, you got me. Look, I wanna talk to all you guys. Where's Alvin?

David Seville: [heads off toward the kitchen] Alvin!

Simon: [quickly spits it out and looks sternly at Theodore] You owe me big-time!

Alvin: Last one to the door is road kill!

Simon: I'm in!

[Alvin and Simon make a break for the door]

Theodore: [distracted by a Christmas ornament] Hmm... What are these shiny things?

Simon: [goes back to Theodore] Theodore, we're leaving now!

David Seville: [picks up a stack of toster waffles from the under the kitchen rug]

Simon: We put a few toaster waffles aside for winter

Alvin: And we're not sharing!

David Seville: Guys, we're gonna have food all winter so if you start storing it, it's gonna get gross and we're gonna have rodent -...

SimonTheodoreAlvin: [looks at Dave]

David Seville: Bad you know... non-talking rodents around here

[from trailer]

David Seville: [the boys are singing Funky Town] Hey guys, knock it off. It's 3 in the morning.

[Theodore and Simon stop, Alvin continues to sing]

David Seville: Alvin.

[he continues]

David Seville: Alvin.

[he continues]

David Seville: ALVIN!

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Theodore: How do you think it's going?

Alvin: Terrible! They're not even sniffing each other!

Simon: But Alvin, Dave said that...

Alvin: Dave needs a little help from the love doctor.

Theodore: And his assistant.

Simon: [pulls Theodore inside the room] Get back here.

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David Seville: They're savings bonds. In seven years you will get to buy something really nice.

Alvin: Do you have any that you bought seven years ago?

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Mother in Store: [apologizing for her daughter hitting Dave on the head with a box while shopping in a grocery store] Oh, sorry about that. Sorry.

David Seville: Kids, huh?

Mother in Store: Yeah, they keep you on your toes. You have any?

David Seville: Three boys.

Mother in Store: Some days are better than others.

David Seville: ...and then some days you just want to close them in a box, and leave the box in the park, and run away you know?

Mother in Store: [rushes off with her cart]

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David Seville: Chipmunks can't talk either.

Simon: Well, our lips are moving and words are coming out.

David Seville: This is not happening. I'm not talking to chipmunks, I'm not talking to chipmunks.

Alvin: So, how's that going for you, Dave?

David Seville: Uhh - uhh, how'd you know my name?

Alvin: Oh, that one? We read your mail by accident.

Simon: You really oughta pay that utility bill, Dave. Ever heard of a credit rating?

Theodore: [turns on the food processor] What's this thing?

David Seville: Hey, hey... hey, hey, turn that off!

Alvin: [turns off the food processor] Sorry.

Simon: [rubs Theodore's head] He fell out of the tree at birth.

David Seville: C-Can all animals talk?

Simon: Well, fish do have this type of sign language.

Alvin: Hey Dave, do all humans have houses that smell like sweatsocks?

Alvin: [singing while squirting soap out of the soap dispenser] Dave likes to wear, dirty underwear, with little hairs...

Simon: We're getting off on the wrong foot. Allow us to introduce ourselves. Hello, I'm Simon, the smart one. He's Alvin...

Alvin: The awesomest one...

Theodore: And I'm Theodore.

David Seville: Oh, that's nice to meet you. Now get out of my house.

Theodore: But... we talk.

David Seville: Which only makes me want you out of my house that much more. It's creepy, unnatural, somewhat evil.

Alvin: I kind of liked him better when he was unconscious.

David Seville: [places a mixing bowl over the chipmunks] Gotcha!

Alvin: Hey!

David Seville: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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[after being captured and placed into a cat carrier]

Alvin: You'll never take us alive!

Simon: They just did take us alive, Alvin.

Alvin: It's a figure of speech, Simon. Instead of criticizing me, why not use your big brain to think of a way out?

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David Seville: Ian, they don't want this anymore. Just let them go!

Ian: But the guy just left, you should have said something about five seconds ago.

Ian: [soft voice] Come back.

David Seville: Ian, they need a real life, not all of this. Besides, they just ruined the concert. Word'll get out, and no one will come to see them!

Ian: [places hands on Dave's cheeks] Dave, they're chipmunks, who talk. People will come.

Ian: [to security guards] Guys, with me.

Ian: [singing] Whoa, whoa... that's how we roll...

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David Seville: H-How did you guys...?

Simon: We're talking chipmunks, Dave. We can get out of a cat carrier. Not even hard to do.

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David Seville: Nicely done, Theodore.

[reading the letter]

David Seville: To Dav... let's see it says Merry Christmas, love Theodore. and i'ts got a nice picture of uh... some pineapples?

Theodore: Those aren't pinapples, that's our family!

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Alvin: [singing] Don't cha... Yeah, yeah, come on, come on... Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me / Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me...

[Dave opens the dishwasher door and Alvin screams]

Alvin: There's this new thing, it's called knocking!

David Seville: Get out!

Alvin: I'm waiting for the rain cycle.

David Seville: [pulls Alvin out of the dishwasher] Out!

Alvin: Hey, I'm taking a shower here!

David Seville: You know, if I made a list of my worst days ever, guess what? Today would be at the top of the list.

Alvin: And it's still early.

David Seville: Clam it, sudsy!

[Simon and Theodore join Alvin on the counter]

Alvin: Look, let me just put it to you like this, OK? I have no job, no career, my house is always a mess, thank you very much...

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[up a lighting post, being chased by a security guard]

Alvin: [songsung] Eeny, meeny, miny, mo, missed a chipmunk cause you're slow.

[shines the spotlight in his eyes]

Alvin: Yippee-kie-yay, mamacita!

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David Seville: Alright, here's the deal; you guys sing my songs, you get to sleep here.

Alvin: [thinks about it] No. Wait! Is breakfast included?

David Seville: [thinks about it] I can live with that.

Simon: What about TV privileges?

David Seville: [thinks about it] Okay, but not after seven.

Theodore: Eight.

David Seville: Done. Don't tell you're animal friends, cause I don't wanna come home and find a bunch of rabbits and skunks on my couch.

Simon: Filthy creatures, Dave. Never associate with them.

Theodore: Yeah, you're our only friend.

David Seville: No, no, no, no, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's just start with me being your songwriter.

Alvin: Um, let me ask you, have you ever written a song before?

David Seville: Yup.

Alvin: And... is that your music stuff outside?

David Seville: Yup.

[thunder claps reminding Dave that his songwriting equipment is soaked in the rain]

David Seville: Oh no!

Alvin: Hurry back.

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[first lines]

Alvin (singing voice)Simon (singing voice)Theodore (singing voice): [a capella] Where is the moment we needed the most/You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost/They tell me your blue skies fade to gray/They tell me your passion's gone away/And I don't need no carryin' on/Cause you had a bad day/You're taking one down/You sing a sad song just to turn it around/You say you don't know/You tell me don't lie/You work at a smile and you go for a ride/You had a bad day/You've seen what you like/And how does it feel for one more time/You had a bad day/You had a bad day/

Alvin: [pushing the last of the acorns into the tree] It's going, It's going.

[gets sucked in and falls out with all of the acorns]

Simon: And it's gone.

Alvin: [from inside the tree] Whatever!

Theodore: Maybe we should take a break.

[an acorn hits him on the head]

Theodore: Ouch!

Alvin: That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't! I give up! I'm sick of struggling for survival! Competing with gophers and earthworms, and that loser sparrow who always takes my nuts! And I'm especially sick of this stupid, stupid...*tree!*

[the sound of a buzzsaw is heard, and the tree shakes]

Simon: Whoa! What's happening?

Theodore: Guys! I think he made it angry!

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[last lines]

Alvin: [tries to open a bottle of champange] Stupid cork! Doesn't - Whoa!

[Cork flies into a glass door cabinet breaking it along with some of the glasses in it]

Alvin: Yikes, Ha-ha! Oops!

David Seville: Not gonna say it.

Alvin: Uh-oh!

Simon: Good grief.

[Champagne spills all over the floor creating a large puddle]

Claire: Are you still not gonna say it?

David Seville: [tries very hard not to] Nope!

[Champagne puddle becomes a flood that hits a plug outlet, causing a blackout in Dave's house]

David Seville: I'm gonna say it. AAAAAALLLLLLVVVVVVIIIIIINNNNNN!

Alvin: OKAY!

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Theodore: [taps Dave's hand] Dave?

[jumps up onto the bed]

Theodore: Are you awake?

David Seville: I am now.

Theodore: I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you?

David Seville: Umm...

Theodore: You won't even know I'm here.

David Seville: Ok, sure, but stay on THAT side of the bed.

Theodore: Oh, oh, oh, ok.

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Simon: [after knocking out Dave] Hmm. He's been out for quite a while.

Theodore: [gasps] You guys, he's dead!

Alvin: Don't panic! Wipe everything down! I'll need three garbage bags, a shovel, some disinfectant, some latex gloves, and oregano. Go!

Simon: Hang on, Sherlock. He's coming too.

David Seville: I must be hearing things.

[regains consciousness]

David Seville: Oh, this is trippy.

Theodore: Sir, are you alright?

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Ian: Let's talk about your song, Dave.

David Seville: Well, as crazy as it sounds, the original inspiration came to me...

Ian: The song sucks, Dave.

David Seville: What?

Ian: Your song, it's awful, I hate it. Yeah, I mean, who's gonna sing it? Justin? Fergie? Not a chance. Come on, I need something new, something fresh...

David Seville: But that is new.

Ian: The next big thing. Dave, we go way back. We both come a long way since college. You, not so much. I wanted to like that song, but, you heard it... not that good. If I wasn't your friend, I'd say, "Dave, you go right back out of this office and you keep writing music, you'll get there someday." But I am your friend, so I'm going to tell you that there is no sense in writing songs that no one is ever, ever, going to sing.

David Seville: Ever?

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Theodore: [munching on some cereal] This is the greatest day of my life!

Alvin: Eureka! I found the cheese balls!

[Alvin pours out the cheese balls and Simon catches them with a bowl]

Simon: Ughh! Alvin, what are you doing? Don't make a mess!

Alvin: Cannonball!

[jumps into the bowl of cheese balls]

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David Seville: What was that?

Simon: Um, nothing, nothing, just a little stage fright.

Theodore: I thought my heart was gonna explode.

Alvin: We're not performing monkeys, Dave. Why do we have to sing for that guy anyway?

David Seville: Well, how's this? Pretend I need the money and I hate my job and you're staying at my place so, you owe me.

Theodore: We're sorry, Dave.

David Seville: Yeah, that helps.

David Seville: [heavy sigh] Never mind, I'm late for work.

Theodore: Ooh, ooh, can we go with you?

David Seville: What, so you can mess that up too? Uh-uh. You're going home.

Alvin: Can I stand on your lap and steer?

Theodore: Oh, can I at least beep the... horn?

[Dave looks at the chipmunks]

Theodore: Never mind.

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David Seville: Uh, guys, what's this about?

[holds up one of his presentation boards in front of Simon and Theodore]

Simon: Obviously, Theodore's butt.

Theodore: We told you we colored.

David Seville: On my presentation boards? You got me fired.

Theodore: [Dave grabs the remote] We didn't know.

Theodore: [Dave turns off the TV] We're sorry, Dave.

David Seville: Oh, you're sorry? That's fantastic!

Theodore: But...

David Seville: Sorry doesn't get my job back now, does it, Theodore?

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Theodore: Who's Claire?

Simon: Claire is Dave's mate. Ooh-la-la.

David Seville: She's not my mate. She's my ex-mate.

David Seville: [frantically tries to clean the house] This is great.

Simon: Dave, slow down. You just go get the food. We'll take care of the rest, all right?

David Seville: Oh, why am I having a hard time believing you?

Alvin: That hurts, Dave. That really hurts.

Simon: Yeah, we're all in this together, Dave.

Theodore: Like a family.

David Seville: No, not like a family!

Alvin: Tick-tock, Dave. Better bust-a-move!

David Seville: Right.

[Theodore giggles and Dave points at him]

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David Seville: Hey!

[Simon passes the breath freshener bottle to Theodore]

David Seville: Look, I know what you guys are up to. Alvin!

Theodore: Blood check.

David Seville: Where's Alvin?

[Theodore sprays breath freshener in Dave's face, causing Dave to scream and knock down some things attached to the door]

David Seville: [to Claire] Everything's fine!

David Seville: [to Theodore] Why'd you do that?

Theodore: We were just trying to help... you have garlic breath.

David Seville: [grabs the breath freshener bottle from Theodore's hand] Well, stop helping. You're ruining everything!

[throws the bottle on the floor]

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Alvin: [knocks on door] You should've kissed her, Dave. She really wanted you!

Simon: Alvin, you're not helping.

Alvin: Aw, don't give up, Dave.

David Seville: Go away! Leave me alone!

Theodore: Dave, would you like a cookie?

David Seville: I said leave me alone!

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Alvin: Is it me, or was he a little mad?

Simon: Hmm... I wonder... is Dave mad? Yes!

Theodore: He really did have garlic breath.

Simon: Yeah, well played, guys.

Alvin: Idea, ding-ding-ding-ding! Who has cab fare?

Simon: Cab fare? We don't even have pockets.

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David Seville: Okay, new rule. No going out after nine, and not at all unless I know where you're going.

Theodore: Were you worried about us, Dave?

David Seville: No, I just needed to know, that's all.

Alvin: Um, if you're not worried, then why do you need to know?

David Seville: I need to know, okay?

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Ian: Alright people, settle in, settle in. It is a very special night tonight. Here at Jett Records we pride ourselves in bringing you tomorrow's music today. Oh, and guess what, I did it again. Ladies and gentlemen, here to sing their new hit single, give it up for Alvin, Simon, and Theodore!

[audience applauds]

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David Seville: It's hard, I know, three months ago you were wandering around in a tree somewhere and, now you're...

Alvin: [sucks air from a balloon and speaks in a low voice] major rockstars!

David Seville: Okay, whatever. Well, my point is, just because you're...

Alvin: [low voice] major rockstars!

David Seville: [releases balloon from Alvin's hand and sits down again] ... doesn't mean that you can have or do whatever you want!

Simon: Well, Uncle Ian said that we should always be happy.

David Seville: Okay, you know what? He's not your uncle!

[pulls the balloons down from the ceiling fan]

Alvin: He also, David, said that we should be making 20 dollars a day.

David Seville: Well, guess what? You're making way more than that. And because I care, I'm putting it all away for you, just like storing nuts for the winter.

Alvin: Ah, winter's for losers!

Simon: Yeah. And shouldn't we be having our say on how to build our investment portfolio?

David Seville: Where is all this coming from? You guys are just kids.

Alvin: Kids, Dave... or rats?

David Seville: What?

Theodore: Well, Uncle Ian said that we're like his family.

David Seville: Oh yeah? Well, if you love Uncle Ian so much and don't think I'm watching out for you, why don't you go live with Uncle Ian?

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Ian: Dave Seville. Learn the name, look for the face. If he shows up tomorrow night, he doesn't get anywhere near my chipmunks. Got it?

Security Guard: Got it.

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Theodore: [climbs on Ian's bed] Uncle Ian?

Ian: [wakes up with a start] What are you doing here?

Theodore: Can I sleep with you? I had a nightmare.

Ian: Oh... you had a nightmare? I had a nightmare too. In my nightmare, I had to put together 37 dates in 42 days, in 16 countries. And, I had to coordinate 121 radio and print interviews in 5 different languages.

Ian: [picks up Theodore] And you know what Theo, the only difference is, in my nightmare, when I open my eyes, it doesn't end!

Theodore: So... is that a no?

[Ian throws Theodore out the door]

Theodore: Whoa... oh... oh...

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Theodore: Guys, I wanna go home.

Simon: What do you mean? You are home.

Theodore: No. I mean home home, with Dave.

Alvin: But Theodore, wake up and smell the toffee. Dave doesn't even want us. He doesn't even care to come to our show.

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Alvin (singing voice)Simon (singing voice)Theodore (singing voice): [a capella] Only you can make this world seem right / Only you can make the darkness bright

[Dave opens window]

Alvin: Uh, were we disturbing you?

David Seville: Y-you guys can sing too?

Alvin: That's not singing, this is singing.

Alvin (singing voice)Simon (singing voice)Theodore (singing voice): [sing Funkytown]

David Seville: This is amazing. Here, everyone inside.

[the three chipmunks jump onto the trash can one by one]

Simon: [almost slips] Whoopsie.

[Dave helps Simon up]

Simon: Thank you.

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Ian: [glances outside his mansion] Hello?... Hello?

[Theodore smells Ian's foot and sneezes]

Ian: Kids.

[closes door and heads back to the stairs]

Alvin (singing voice)Simon (singing voice)Theodore (singing voice): [a capella] Christmas, Christmas time is here / Time for toys and time for cheer / We can hardly stand the wait / Please Christmas, don't be late

Ian: Welcome to Jett Records.

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Alvin: [running on a tape recorder spool] This kicks a hamster wheel's butt!

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Alvin: [Theodore crashed a RC car] Why didn't the airbags deploy?

Simon: Theodore, don't go into the light!

Theodore: Huh? Phew! Let's do it again!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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