Family Guy (TV Series)

No Chris Left Behind (2007)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Carter Pewterschmidt, Captain, Roger Chapstick, Thunder

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lois Griffin : You know, I have to admit that I've always been a little worried about Chris, but, I just convinced myself things would work out for him. But with no education, what kind of future could he possibly have?

  Peter Griffin : Well, what are we supposed to do, Lois? It's not like the high school will take him back. And every other school we've tried just doesn't...

  [eyes widen looking toward the window] 

  Peter Griffin : oh... crap!

  [Ernie the Giant Chicken stands outside the window and tackles Peter and another fight occurs between them] 

• Stewie Griffin : [explaining to Chris about his job]  And I got a job following fat people around with a tuba.

  [the scene cuts to the park where there is a fat, and morbidly obese man walking; and Stewie appears behind the bushes following him with a tuba, playing a jaunty tune] 

  Fat Guy : [walking while listening to Stewie's jaunty, but rude fat-guy tuba music]  Stop it!

  [Stewie continues playing the tune on the tuba] 

  Fat Guy : Cut it out!

  [Stewie resumes his tune on the tuba] 

  Fat Guy : I have a glandular problem!

  [Stewie resumes playing the tuba, until the fat guy falls over and Stewie plays a comic flourish] 

  Stewie Griffin : [putting his hand out to the fat guy as he falls over]  That'll be $60.