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"How I Met Your Mother" Columns (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Carl: Hey Marshall, what are you having?

Marshall Eriksen: What I'll have, oh I don't know maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!

Carl: Oh, I'm sorry. That painting is property of the bar.

Marshall Eriksen: I know that Barney gave you that painting!

Carl: I don't know what you're talking about...

Marshall Eriksen: Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you double!

Carl: I doubt it.

Marshall Eriksen: Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you that plus ten bucks!

Carl: I doubt it.

Marshall Eriksen: Alright, you know what, Carl? You just lost yourself a regular customer!

Carl: [Beat] I doubt it.

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Ted Mosby: [about Hammond Druthers] Well... it's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. So, I went to talk to the managing partner...

Brady: Fire him.

Ted Mosby: Well, sir, I was thinking he could just be put on a different project.

Ted Mosby: Fire him! He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass. In fact, fire everyone on that project. Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them.

Ted Mosby: [Sheepish] Mosby, sir? I, I... I hear Mosby's doing some great work.

Brady: Fine, Mosby can stay. But tell him he's on thin ice. Come here.

[Pinches Ted's cheeks]

Brady: I like you, Crosby.

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Barney Stinson: Hey, guys! Guess what I got? A new dart!

Robin Scherbatsky: Oh wow, a new dart!

Ted Mosby: Hey, that new dart is great!

Robin Scherbatsky: I did not know you were such a fan of "new dart", Barney!

Barney Stinson: Oh yes, Robyn, I just love "nude art"..."nude art"

Barney Stinson: [after an awkward stare from Marshall] "nude art"!

[laughs]

Marshall Eriksen: You found the painting, didn't you?

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Ted Mosby: [after Barney shows him a picture of Naked-Marshall] Oh my God. This is awesome times awesome, it's awesome square.

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Barney Stinson: [after seeing the picture Lily painted of him] She left out little Barney... Barnickle Jr... My Barnana...

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Lily Aldrin: [Trying to paint Barney with a sword in his hand] I don't think your sword will fit.

Barney Stinson: I get that a lot.

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Ted Mosby: Robin, I just had a great idea.

Robin Scherbatsky: [Trying to sleep] Do whatever you want to me, just don't wake me up...

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Lily Aldrin: [about Marshall's nude painting] I knew this day would come.

Marshall Eriksen: How did you know that?

Lily Aldrin: Because I didn't hide it very well.

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Ted Mosby: [after watching Marshall steal his nude painting from the bar] One of my worst fears just came true- I saw Marshall grab himself naked.

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Barney Stinson: In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.

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Barney Stinson: You have been blessed with a wonderful gift.

Lily Aldrin: Thank you!

Barney Stinson: I meant me.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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