- Barbara Walters: [on The View] Let's get personal. Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara.
- Jenna Maroney: Yes, that's right.
- Barbara Walters: When he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired surfer named Roberta. Did that hurt her?
- Jenna Maroney: It was hard on all of us, yes.
- Barbara Walters: Flurg murg glurg flurg murg murg murg tennis murg murg. Was a murg murg flurg?
- Jenna Maroney: I'll always be his little girl.
- [cries]
- Barbara Walters: [puts her hand on Jenna's shoulder] Glurg.
- Tracy Jordan: I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?
- Jack: I have two ears and a heart, don't I?
- Liz Lemon: [trying to figure out the title to Jenna's film] Could it be "Roar her, gem her"?
- Pete Hornberger: No, that doesn't make any sense. It's got to be "Oral Germ Whore".
- Jack: Look, Tracy - I can't just give you money. But what I can do is show you how you can earn all the money you need. You must know Arsenio...
- Tracy Jordan: Hall or Billingham?
- Jack: You know someone named Arsenio Billingham?
- Tracy Jordan: No.
- Jenna Maroney: I've been booked on The View!
- Pete Hornberger: Oh Jenna, that's great. For the first time in your life you'll be in a room full of women and you'll be the least crazy one.
- Jenna Maroney: I know.
- Jack: We have a product we want you to give an endorsement to.
- Dr. Leo Spaceman: I'll do it! What is it?
- Jack: It's called a Tracey Jordan Meat Machine, it's a duel press grill.
- Dr. Leo Spaceman: Say no more, if it's giving people meat, then I'm on board.