Clark and Michael (2006– )
Clark: They brought up Ashton, not me.
Michael: Yeah? Well what if I brought up that guy, uh, that guy from American Pie? What's that guy... the curly haired guy.
Clark: I don't know his name.
Clark: [to camera]
Clark: Can we even say names like this? I mean, I don't need another lawsuit right now.
Michael: Oh please, Clark- JASON BIGGS. Sue me, you cocksucker. Earn your first dollar in seven years.
Michael: They rested their balls our chins on and brushed our teeth with their dicks!
Michael: Oh, there's my neighbor Amanda! How are the petunias coming in this year, Amanda?... That's Clark!
Michael: I mean, why should we make a golden necklace to drape around a neck that nobody watches?
Clark: Mike, I'm gonna stop you, because you have a new lady. Okay? And her name is Hollywood. And her legs are spread so wide that there's room for both of us in there.