Two and a Half Men (2003–2015)
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Kissing Abraham Lincoln 

Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status, and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.



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Episode cast overview:


Alan needs Kandi to agree to sell her condo to avoid bankruptcy, but only gets sensual satisfaction. Meanwhile Charlie's bossy girlfriend Lydia proves particularly invasive, to his great worry probably even the marrying kind, and tells Berta to learn her place, so the 'maid' (ha!) makes sure Charlie remembers his: exactly where alpha-dog Berta tells the Harper boys to be. So having promised to Lydia that Berta will do her laundry, he needs Alan to teach him how to do it himself. When they make him choose between his 'mistresses', Charlie lies to both... Written by KGF Vissers

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Comedy | Romance


TV-14 | See all certifications »




Release Date:

27 November 2006 (USA)  »

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Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?


Marks one of the few times that the title of the episode isn't exactly spoken. While the title is "Kissing Abraham Lincoln," Charlie actually says, "Kissing Abe Lincoln." See more »


At around 8 minutes, when Berta makes Charlie say that she is the "alpha dog" we see Berta's hand move to touch Charlie's face for the first time. The camera angle then changes, and she [again] raises her hand to touch Charlie's face. See more »


Berta: I don't mind your girlfriends throwing an occasional thong or panties into the hamper, I just boil them and sell them at the swap meet. But this broad is taking advantage of my easygoing nature.
Charlie Harper: Now to be fair, Lydia does have her positive attributes.
Berta: Well, I ain't hitting any of them attributes, so I don't give a rat's ass.
Charlie Harper: All right, all right.
Berta: You know what she said to me, Charlie? She said I need to know my place around here.
Charlie Harper: Oh she didn't.
Berta: Ah, but she did. Is that true, Charlie? Do I need ...
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Two and a Half Men - Titelsong
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User Reviews

One of the better and funnier "Two and a Half" episodes, that's very sexy it's Big Momma(Berta) vs. Pretty Girl(Lydia)!
27 November 2008 | by (Petersburg, Virginia) – See all my reviews

One of my favorite shows is "Two and a Half Men" I think every episode is a comedy gem for the way it's written, yet this one titled "Kissing Abraham Lincoln" stands out as a gem for it's funny conflict and sexy appeal that you feel. Guest star Katherine LaNasa is Lydia who's Charlie's(Charlie Sheen)sexy and prim and proper upscale girlfriend, who all of a sudden has decided to move in on him. And the episode is very sexy as the love and make out scenes between both Charlie and Lydia push the envelope for a network TV series and the script is razor sharp in a sexual manner. Yet the mainstay of the Harper household is maid Berta(Conchata Ferrell)who all of a sudden feels used when Lydia wants to use the big working gal as her own personal slave. Yet Berta doesn't want to have no part of the workload and doesn't want to take orders from this colored bra pretty girl pantie wearing socialite. As this blond bombshell just comes with to much laundry to wash for Berta both literally and figuratively! So Charlie must make a decision does he go with his heart or libido. Overall excellent episode sadly it was the last I've saw of guest star Katherine LaNasa I would like to see her on something again.

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