Kimihiko Onizuka is a salaryman infatuated with maiko (apprentice geisha) and whose greatest goal in life is to play a party game called "yakyuken" with one.



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Credited cast:
Sadao Abe ...
Kimihiko Onizuka
Kiichiro Naito
Fujiko Osawa (as Kô Shibasaki)
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Satoshi Hashimoto
Yûki Himura ...
Camera boy
Shirô Itô ...
Hiromi Suzuki
Katsumi Kiba ...
Midoriko Kimura ...
Shôko Kirisawa
Kotomi Kyôno ...
Miki Maya ...
Katsuhisa Namase ...
Keiko Nishi
Yukari Nishio


Kimihiko Onizuka is a salaryman infatuated with maiko (apprentice geisha) and whose greatest goal in life is to play a party game called "yakyuken" with one.

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis




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Release Date:

16 June 2007 (Japan)  »

Filming Locations:

Box Office


$10,000,000 (estimated)

Company Credits

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Technical Specs

Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
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Did You Know?


When Naito wins the election he can be seen colouring in the eye of a Daruma doll. These paper dolls are used as a kind of good luck charm by people who are hoping to pass an exam or get elected. The idea is you colour in one pupil and if you can succeed then colour in the other pupil. See more »


Referenced in Panel Quiz Attack 25: Episode dated 24 June 2007 (2007) See more »

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User Reviews

Very nearly unwatchable
27 March 2009 | by (San Francisco) – See all my reviews

"Maiko Haaaaan!!!" is the sort of film that I should've enjoyed. I'm a confirmed Japanophile, I visit it at least once a year, I love Kyoto's Gion district (well, the north Gion; the south is too touristy for my taste), and I always love seeing (or hearing) geiko and maiko, the two subsets of geisha in Kyoto. Also, I thoroughly enjoy "Shimotsuma Monogatari" ("Kamikaze Girls"), a movie that is structurally very similar to "Maiko Haaaaan!!!", and even shares some actors. So why did I give "Maiko Haaaaan!!!" just 3 stars and why do I call it "nearly unwatchable"?

There are two main reasons. First, the performance by Abe Sadao is one of the most annoying things I've ever witnessed on the screen. Imagine Jerry Lewis at his most irritating. Imagine Moe Howard from the Three Stooges. Add their over-the-top scenery-chewing, mugging, shrieking and contorting together, and -- there! You've grasped Abe Sadao's character. He was mildly interesting in "Shimotsuma Monogatari", but mostly because he retained an air of mystery (and his outlandish appearance was nevertheless underplayed). Not so here. He's turned up to eleven, and he's not coming back down anytime soon.

And the other reason? The script is an utter mess. It starts out as a broad comedy farce, breaks the fourth wall and becomes a musical, transforms into a tragicomedy, goes out for fast food, comes back for a while, goes into therapy, and finally ends as a maudlin "romantic comedy", while doing none of those things well. The tear-jerking elements just come off as sappy and unbelievable, and the "McGuffin" is simply incapable of making us care. And at more than two hours long, watching "Maiko Haaaaan!!!" is a bit like getting your toenails slowly pulled off. You know it will be better when it's over with, but there's still no end in sight.

If you like colorful, fast-paced, slightly screwball Japanese comedies, there are some great ones out there, from "Shimotsuma Monogatari" to to "Samehada Otoko to Mojiri Onna" ("Shark Skin Man and Peach Hip Girl"). They're well-scripted, breezy and never get too broad. If "Maiko Haaaaan!!!" had been likewise crafted, it might have been a second-string to those two classics of their genre. Instead, it plays like "Jerry Lewis in 'Hay Priddy Japanese LAAAAAy-DEEEEE!'"

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