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(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer. Who the hell are you?

Bart Simpson: [thinks of the perfect prank call] I'm, um, Ahmed Adoudi.

Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoudi. Does somebody know Ahmed Adoudi?

Chloe O'Brian: Ahmed Adoudi: wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late '90s.

Jack Bauer: Really?

Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack! It's a joke name! You're being set up.

Jack Bauer: Damn it!

[he shoots with his gun and Bart laughs hard]

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[last lines]

[Jack Bauer comes in by dropping in from an air vent]

Jack Bauer: [in megaphone] Good work, Lisa!

Bart Simpson: What about me?

Jack Bauer: [points gun at Bart] Bart Simpson, twelve minutes ago, you made an annoying prank phone call to me. All units move in!

[a bunch of units move into the gym and they all point guns at Bart, but Bauer puts his away]

Jack Bauer: I pulled ever single field agent off all other cases to track you down and bring you to justice. It was a tough decision, but I think I made the right call.

[big explosion happens in the distance, and the crowd gasps]

Jack Bauer: It's okay. That was Shelbyville.

[everyone sighs with relief]

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Jack Bauer: The following takes place between 2:34 PM and 3:04 PM. Or maybe it's AM. Whichever one is the morning one; it's not that one.

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Principal Skinner: [Bart makes a Principal Skinner head out of poupon and ketchup] Simpson! I'll teach you to make a poupon me!

[students in the cafeteria laugh]

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Mr. Burns: Simpson, take your putrid filth far away from here, you soulless land whale.

Homer Simpson: Woo-hoo! Business trip!

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[first lines]

Jack Bauer: Previously on "24"... I mean, "The Simpsons."

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Homer Simpson: Hey, Milhouse. Who're you spying on? Those bullies?

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[Homer picks up the stink bomb and notices the amount of time before it blows]

Homer Simpson: Oh, a Thermos! With seven cups of coffee still left in it. Oh, wait, six.

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[Bart notices Ralph in the glass case and calls someone on his phone]

Bart Simpson: I got a man down. Well, not a man. A very special boy.

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[Homer gets out of Moe's tavern and walks to the dumpster he left Milhouse in]

Homer Simpson: Okay, Milhouse, what do you wanna do?

Milhouse Van Houten: Well, the school's having a bake sale.

Homer Simpson: Old Betsy will get us there.

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Marge Simpson: If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.

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Bart Simpson: Lisa, are you on a secure line?

Lisa Simpson: I am. You're on a blue tooth cell wire, the most vulnerable device known to man.

Bart Simpson: But it looks so cool!

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Principal Skinner: Enhance.

[the image is enhanced, revealing "Seymour sucks" carved on a desk]

Principal Skinner: Dehance! Dehance!

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Bart Simpson: Jimbo has a stink bomb in his house, but I need to intercept it fast. Send me some schematics.

Lisa Simpson: Jimbo made a couble of drawings of his house in the second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave them a frowny face.

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Milhouse Van Houten: Lisa, if I don't make it, there's a letter in my locker I want you to read.

Lisa Simpson: I've read your letter.

Principal Skinner: We've all read it.

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Homer Simpson: [after the Bullies stuff him and Milhouse into the Dumpster and lock it] I'm still alive! You call that playing to win?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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