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"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" B-12 (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

Quotes

Suzanne: You both need to get B-12 shots from the nurse.

Matt Albie: I've had mine and Danny can't have one.

Danny Tripp: Why not?

Matt Albie: Memo said you can't have the shot if you're pregnant.

Danny Tripp: Yeah.

Matt Albie: Seriously, it can be dangerous if you're pregnant.

Danny Tripp: I'm not pregnant.

Matt Albie: Have you checked? You're been pretty hormonal.

Danny Tripp: It's testosterone.

Matt Albie: It's Estrogen. Suzanne, why don't you get Danny one of those little kits - you probably keep a bunch in your car.

Danny Tripp: [to Suzanne] He's trying to get a riff going. Don't feed the fire and it will go out.

Matt Albie: One more thing...

Danny Tripp: What?

Matt Albie: You can't get that shot if you're pregnant.

Danny Tripp: You know Chevy Chase woke up one day, and he just wasn't funny any more.

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Matt Albie: All right, here it is. It's easy, but pay attention. "Spit-Take Theatre" same five actors, same set. It's going on the cards right now and we'll mark it during the next c-break. You speak in a Stentorian voice. On the first round of cards the actor third to the left of the person speaking does a spit-take. On the second round, the actor third to the left and to the immediate left does a spit-take, and on the final round anyone who isn't speaking does a spit-take. Good?

Harriet Hayes: Wait, I made it through the week without getting sick and now we're ending the night with everybody spitting at me?

Matt Albie: That's better. Everyone should just spit at Harriet.

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Harriet Hayes: Knock-knock.

Tom Jeter: Oh God.

Harriet Hayes: Knock-knock rook.

Dylan Killington: Who's there?

Harriet Hayes: Orange.

Samantha Li: Banana!

Harriet Hayes: Orange.

Samantha Li: Banana! It's banana! Banana, banana, banana! Then you say orange, "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?" Four-year-olds are telling this joke!

Harriet Hayes: Okay, well calm down. I happen to be a member of the... what?

Simon Stiles: Fallstaff.

Harriet Hayes: Fallstaff Society.

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Darius Hawthorne: [while Andy reads a new sketch] What do you think?

Andy Mackinaw: I'm on page 2 and I still don't know what it's about.

Darius Hawthorne: See, it's about the world's dumbest criminal who takes hostages in a bank...

Andy Mackinaw: 'Kay, well you're going to have to explain it to everybody in the audience exactly like that, because I'm on page 2 and I still don't know what it's about.

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Danny Tripp: How's it going?

Matt Albie: Good... good... good... good... good.

Danny Tripp: Yeah?

Matt Albie: Absolutely.

Danny Tripp: Good.

Matt Albie: No.

Danny Tripp: Yeah.

Matt Albie: We may need a little help.

Danny Tripp: Yeah.

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Nurse: [after Dylan passes out from a virus that is spreading through the cast] This thing is gonna kill us all.

Danny Tripp: Oh thanks, Sunshine.

Nurse: And could these lights possibly be any hotter?

Danny Tripp: Nope, this is as hot as they get.

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Simon Stiles: [an air horn blows] What the hell what that?

Tom Jeter: An air horn.

Simon Stiles: Why is an air horn lying around here?

Tom Jeter: Maybe it's just for such an occasion.

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Harriet Hayes: I'm better than all of you, and the proof is, I got into the American Falstaff Society.

Simon Stiles: I'm already in.

Harriet Hayes: Alright. Then I'm better than three of you.

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Harriet Hayes: Matt!

Matt Albie: Yeah.

Harriet Hayes: I got into the Falstaff Society.

Matt Albie: Hey, great! Are you the first woman?

Harriet Hayes: I'm the eleventh woman.

Matt Albie: Cool.

Harriet Hayes: I am the first woman in the Great Lake region.

Matt Albie: You're quite a pioneer!

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Danny Tripp: Well the problem is, when you were little and your parents told you you were funny, you didn't realize they were just trying to be nice.

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Matt Albie: Have you let Martha have it for her column?

Danny Tripp: Huh?

Matt Albie: You said you were gonna let Martha have it, and I wanted to see that.

Danny Tripp: Well, I banished her from the floor.

Matt Albie: She's right there on the floor next to you.

Danny Tripp: Well, she has full access.

Matt Albie: She's waiving at me right now.

Danny Tripp: I know.

Matt Albie: Almost seems like she's mocking you...

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Danny Tripp: You'll learn. Did you read Martha O'Dell's column on Tuesday?

Suzanne: Yes.

Danny Tripp: Do you agree it's terrible that she sourced an anonymous web post to support her point?

Suzanne: I liked the piece.

Danny Tripp: Never disagree with me.

Suzanne: It made me sick.

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Danny Tripp: Took a lot of convincing, but Suzanne's agreed to be your assistant.

Matt Albie: Yeah?

Suzanne: If you'll take me.

Matt Albie: I'll take the hell outta ya.

Suzanne: Is there a way you'd like me to dress?

Matt Albie: Sure, but I have to wake up for school now.

Danny Tripp: Tell Karen to draw you two hundred dollars from petty cash and buy some nice work clothes.

Suzanne: Two hundred dollars?

Danny Tripp: It's on us.

Suzanne: Am I working for Matt in 1963?

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Andy Mackinaw: [after Darius and Lucy's sketch receives absolutely no laughs at the dress rehearsal] Yep... That's what tanking is like.

Lucy Kenwright: That was unbearable. Was that really only 3 minutes?

Andy Mackinaw: Actually it ran short. No one had to hold for laughter.

Darius Hawthorne: Come on, let's get out of here.

Andy Mackinaw: Wait here a minute.

Darius Hawthorne: For what?

Andy Mackinaw: The metaphor.

Andy Mackinaw: [Darius suddenly has a door thrown right in his face by a person running out of the studio] Okay, come on.

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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