Woody: Whoever said laughter is the best medicine never had gonorrhea.
Earl Hickey: I went through the checklist Woody gave me and got some things. Fluorescent bulbs that use less electricity. Reusable hemp bags for shopping. And look: shampoo that's not tested on animals. I feel bad for those lab animals running around with dirty hair but - if it's better for the environment, that's the sacrifice they have to make.
Randy Hickey: I need real TV! I need real food!
Earl Hickey: You have to excuse my brother Randy. When he hasn't had TV or food, he gets this angry, dizzy Hulk thing going. That's the angry part.
Earl Hickey: And that's the dizzy part.
Randy Hickey: These hippies are crazy, Earl. They don't believe in plastic. That's crazy! I know plastic exists! I've seen it!
Joy Turner: Hey, Lance Armstrong! Don't you know riding bicycles gives you nut cancer?
Earl Hickey: You guys make your own wine? I tried to make tequila once, but I didn't know what was in it besides worms. Pretty gross. It still got me drunk though.