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"October Road" The Pros and Cons of Upsetting the Applecart (TV Episode 2007) Poster

Quotes

Hannah Daniels: All I'm asking from you Nick is just please, please, please, PLEASE, just DON'T... UPSET... THE APPLECART!

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Dean Leslie Etwood: Is this a joke? Because if this is a joke I'm still stuck in the setup. Which as you may recall involved you panicking and sputtering your way out of a one day seminar, with a case of the dry-heaves, leaving an entire lecture hall in the lurch. And now you want me to give you your own class?

Nick Garrett: Just, a little class. A nice, little graduate writing class.

Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.

Nick Garrett: No, no. But... the journey, getting there, the journey which those students wish to embark upon, I can share my experience.

Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.

Nick Garrett: Let's talk about it.

Dean Leslie Etwood: The um, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned, for reasons unknown, and now is afraid to face his own life.

Nick Garrett: Wow. I think you're leaving out the part where I burned down the orphanage and drunk-dialed the pope.

Dean Leslie Etwood: A teacher by nature is a leader. And a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In other words, Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.

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Aubrey: And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.

Nick Garrett: Going down in flames does seem to be the motif.

Aubrey: What's the difference between self-pity and self-loathing?

Nick Garrett: Well I'd answer you but I'm too busy feeling sorry for my vile existence.

Aubrey: Awwh.

Nick Garrett: Have you met this Dean Etwood?

Aubrey: Oh, yeah yeah, what about her?

Nick Garrett: Just that she's like Stalin, only without the dreamy compassion.

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Eddie Latekka: Hey, you got a second?

Aubrey: Well not if the upshot is catastrophic injury.

Eddie Latekka: Nah, it's nothing like that. I just wanna apologize for roughing up your friend. A few too many tequilas, misguided anger.

Aubrey: Mhmm, yup, so you uh, you have a problem with Nick Garrett?

Eddie Latekka: Garrett? No, uh, I went to high school with the guy but I hardly know him. And I haven't been here in years.

Aubrey: It was occasioned by what?

Eddie Latekka: Well, it was my desire to make things right by you, and uhm, to give you this.

[Hands her a mix CD, that Physical Phil actually made]

Aubrey: You made me a mix?

Eddie Latekka: I made you a mix.

Aubrey: I'm Aubrey.

Eddie Latekka: Eddie.

Aubrey: Interesting selections. Especially track 2. You know I'd have pegged you for more of a John Cougar Mellencamp guy than a John Cougar guy.

Eddie Latekka: So, uh, maybe wanna hang out sometime, talk a little more evolution of Mellencamp, little pink houses and such? Tonight good?

Aubrey: I'm meeting some friends at Sully's.

Eddie Latekka: Maybe I stop by?

Aubrey: Maybe you do.

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Nick Garrett: Hey.

[Holds up a framed picture he just found in a box of his old things]

Ronnie: You and Ma.

Nick Garrett: Yeah.

Ronnie: She'da got a kick outta all the fanciness you got going on.

Nick Garrett: I don't know. I think she mighta been creased for me stayin' away ten years.

Ronnie: But your back now. Where you belong. That's all that counts. It's how you close the game, not the score at half-time.

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Nick Garrett: [His old report card is illegible] Game over.

Ronnie: Not true. I think we can do much better than handing in an ancient document. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always say, 'if you can't deliver the bacon, bring 'em the pig'.

Nick Garrett: You always say that?

Ronnie: Well I will from now on. 'If you can't deliver the bacon, bring 'em the pig.'

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Nick Garrett: Thank you for seeing me again.

Dean Leslie Etwood: You said you were bringing pie.

Nick Garrett: No I didn't.

Dean Leslie Etwood: My assistant told me 'Nicholas Garrett called to say he'd like to come by again, but this time, he's bringing pie'. That's why I agreed. No pie?

Nick Garrett: No pie.

Dean Leslie Etwood: Then good day.

Nick Garrett: Just, hear me out. Okay, I know how you feel about me, and I know that there's nothing that I can say to change your mind. But, how 'bout the words of a fellow teacher?

[Directs his arms to the open doorway]

Nick Garrett: I present Ms. Gertrude Weiner. 45 year veteran of the Massachusetts Educational System. And my tenth grade English teacher.

Mrs. Weiner: How do you do? It's a pleasure. I um, I just want you to know that Nicholas is a wonderful young man. Watching him maneuver his way through semi-colons, I, I knew he would go far. You should think of what he can bring to the students.

Dean Leslie Etwood: I am thinking of the students. That's why I'm not hiring Mr. Garrett. Because he's the very worst thing a teacher could be. A dilettante. Someone who does a job to suit his momentary needs. He reminds me of another man who came down to teach at a school in a parish of New Orleans. Only this man, he told the students that they could learn to sing. And so he sang to them, and the song was, uh, "Where Is Love" from the show "Oliver". But then this man, he left soon after, went back to his real life, leaving the students devastated. I remember that, because I was one of those children. And I remember the crushing sense of loss when that man left. So do not talk to me about the students Mrs. Weiner. Because everything I do, every fiber of my being is for these students.

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Janet The Planet Meadows: I've always said Eddie, as shady as it may be, you got to admire a guy who conjures up a talking raccoon to impress the ladies.

Eddie Latekka: Yeah, I think maybe what I've got to work on is the type of ladies I'm trying to impress.

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Eddie Latekka: Maybe sometime you want to come out, meet Ernesto, the singing koala bear who lives in my attic?

Janet The Planet Meadows: Are you asking me out, Eddie?

Eddie Latekka: I don't know. I guess. Just think about it.

Janet The Planet Meadows: Tell you what. I'll think about it.

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The Commander: Hey!

[takes a bb-gun away from Ronnie]

The Commander: Just because you are an idiot, it doesn't mean you have to act like one.

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Aubrey: And thus, the arsonist returns to the scene of his last great blaze.

Nick Garrett: Going down in flames does seem to be the motive.

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Nick Garrett: Game over.

Ronny: Not true! I think we can do much better. Forget about Hannah and aging documents. Nothing beats a live testimonial. It's like I always said - "If you can't deliver the bacon, bring them the pig!"

Nick Garrett: You always say that?

Ronny: Well, I will from now on.

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Nick Garrett: Look, I'm trying to confront this stuff that I ran from years ago. And I'm willing to face anything, anything that comes my way. I will not leave you, Dean Etwood. Or your students either. This time I'm not leaving anything until it's ready to be left.

Dean Leslie Etwood: Well, what an inspirational tale. But right now, Mr. Garrett, I'm going back to sleep.

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Hannah Daniels: [the Commander arrives with a cat he just picked up off the street at Knights Ridge Veterinary Care, only to come closer to Sam] This is yours, Mr. Garrett?

The Commander: Yeah, that's right.

Hannah Daniels: How old is this cat?

The Commander: He's 7.

Hannah Daniels: This cat is a female.

The Commander: [smiles] Yeah.

Hannah Daniels: And, um, what's her name?

The Commander: [looks at a picture of a sunrise on the wall] Sunrise.

Hannah Daniels: [notices he made up the name] And, um, what's wrong with Sunrise?

The Commander: I don't know. He's just a little... sluggish.

Hannah Daniels: She

The Commander: She

Hannah Daniels: Well I'll take a look at her.

The Commander: Ok that's great well I guess I'll be going now.

[leaves the office]

Sam Daniels: Mom why did he bring in Buster?

Hannah Daniels: I don't know

[turns to look at a confused coworker]

Hannah Daniels: This is our cat.

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Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please, don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.

Nick Garrett: No! No. But... the journey. Getting there. The journey that those students wish to embark upon. I can share my experience.

Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.

Nick Garrett: Let's talk about it.

Dean Leslie Etwood: The, ahm, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned for reasons unknown and now is afraid to face his own life. A teacher by nature is a leader and a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In all the world Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.

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Eddie Latekka: Maybe sometime you wanna come on out and meet Ernesto, the singing koala bear who lives in my attic?

Janet The Planet Meadows: Are you asking me out, Eddie?

Eddie Latekka: I dunno... I guess... just... just think about it.

Janet The Planet Meadows: Tell you what, I'll think about it.

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