- Scientist: Either way, this was an important sketch. You probably just missed the point because you're stupid. I'm sorry, I hate to be that guy, but sometimes you just need to hear that. Stay in school, dummies.
- Terry James: I know. It's crazy, right? An average Joe with no swimming experience wants to compete in the Olympics. What have I been smoking, right?
- Doug Frangelo: You've been smoking dream dust. And Doug Frangelo is about to turn it into reality dust, ok?
- Weekend Update Anchor: Rapper Fabolous was shot, early Tuesday, after leaving a Manhattan restaurant. His condition was upgraded from criticolous to stabolous.