Carter Pewterschmidt: Why are you naked in my house?
Peter Griffin: Uh... why aren't you?
Carter Pewterschmidt: [pause] You're all right, Griffin.
Peter Griffin: I can't do it. I can't go through with it.
Lois Griffin: You have to, Peter, for the sake of our marriage!
Peter Griffin: Screw our marriage, I love you!
Peter Griffin: I love prank calls.
Bill Clinton: [on the phone] Is this Linda Tripp?
Linda Tripp: Yes?
Bill Clinton: You shouldn't have talked you stupid bitch! I hope you die!
[Bill slams the phone down. Peter is obviously uncomfortable]
Peter Griffin: Uh Bill that wasn't a prank call. That was just unpleasant.
Lois Griffin: [reluctantly] Would you sleep with Peter?
Lois' Mom (Barbara): [definitively] Of course dear.
[the pig Peter and Bill Clinton stole rampages through the house]
Chris Griffin: Oh boy, a pig! Can we keep him? OWW, he bit me!
Peter Griffin: I haven't felt this great in years! I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger, except without the fruity accent or the Pirates of the Caribbean wife.
Bill Clinton: [after having sex with Lois] Hey, you up for a little NAFTA?
Lois Griffin: What's that?
Bill Clinton: 'Nother Afternoon Fuckin' That Ass!
Mayor West: [Mayor West, in his underwear, finds Brian's "leavings" in his yard] Well, what do you know? And they called me crazy! "You can't plant sausage seeds," they said!
Brian Griffin: [Brian and Stewie are looking at the toilet cautiously] How do you think it works?
Stewie Griffin: I have no idea.
Brian Griffin: Look, Lois told me I had to start using the toilet and you're the one who's had potty training, so I'm counting on you to help me.
Stewie Griffin: All right, we're two intelligent guys. We can figure this out.
Brian Griffin: What's that big back part?
Stewie Griffin: Maybe that's where the wizard lives who operates this thing. It would be wise not to anger him.
Brian Griffin: I wonder what this thing is for.
Stewie Griffin: Brian, be careful with that. We don't know what it does.
Brian Griffin: [sighs] All right, here goes.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, God. Oh, God. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.
[the toilet flushes. Terrified, Stewie and Brian flee the room screaming]
[Peter and Bill are stoned off their asses]
Peter Griffin: Boy, I'm getting kind of hungry.
Bill Clinton: Me, too.