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"Family Guy" Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey (TV Episode 2007) Poster

Quotes

Carter Pewterschmidt: Why are you naked in my house?

Peter Griffin: Uh... why aren't you?

Carter Pewterschmidt: [pause] You're all right, Griffin.

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Peter Griffin: I can't do it. I can't go through with it.

Lois Griffin: You have to, Peter, for the sake of our marriage!

Peter Griffin: Screw our marriage, I love you!

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Peter Griffin: I love prank calls.

Bill Clinton: [on the phone] Is this Linda Tripp?

Linda Tripp: Yes?

Bill Clinton: You shouldn't have talked you stupid bitch! I hope you die!

[Bill slams the phone down. Peter is obviously uncomfortable]

Peter Griffin: Uh Bill that wasn't a prank call. That was just unpleasant.

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Lois Griffin: [reluctantly] Would you sleep with Peter?

Lois' Mom (Barbara): [definitively] Of course dear.

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[the pig Peter and Bill Clinton stole rampages through the house]

Chris Griffin: Oh boy, a pig! Can we keep him? OWW, he bit me!

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Peter Griffin: I haven't felt this great in years! I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger, except without the fruity accent or the Pirates of the Caribbean wife.

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Bill Clinton: [after having sex with Lois] Hey, you up for a little NAFTA?

Lois Griffin: What's that?

Bill Clinton: 'Nother Afternoon Fuckin' That Ass!

[laughs]

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Mayor West: [Mayor West, in his underwear, finds Brian's "leavings" in his yard] Well, what do you know? And they called me crazy! "You can't plant sausage seeds," they said!

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Brian Griffin: [Brian and Stewie are looking at the toilet cautiously] How do you think it works?

Stewie Griffin: I have no idea.

Brian Griffin: Look, Lois told me I had to start using the toilet and you're the one who's had potty training, so I'm counting on you to help me.

Stewie Griffin: All right, we're two intelligent guys. We can figure this out.

Brian Griffin: What's that big back part?

Stewie Griffin: Maybe that's where the wizard lives who operates this thing. It would be wise not to anger him.

Brian Griffin: I wonder what this thing is for.

Stewie Griffin: Brian, be careful with that. We don't know what it does.

Brian Griffin: [sighs] All right, here goes.

Stewie Griffin: Oh, God. Oh, God. Careful. Careful. Careful. Careful.

[the toilet flushes. Terrified, Stewie and Brian flee the room screaming]

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[Peter and Bill are stoned off their asses]

Peter Griffin: Boy, I'm getting kind of hungry.

Bill Clinton: Me, too.

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Lois Griffin: Brian, what's this on my shoe?

Brian Griffin: My poop.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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